WIDESTI Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 This may seem childish and new but haven't felt this happiness since being with the mother of my child. Been with a few girls but it wasnt anything I took seriously. Here's the story: This girl is young (19) with a 3 yr old. I am 28 with a 3 yr old. Her mental age is very mature and we get along very well. We are able talk about everything and relate to it all. We dated exclusively for 2 months and all of a sudden she says she doesn't want to date anymore. She told me she wasnt ready in the beginning but I wasn't in a rush. She's been in 1 serious relationship (her BD) and has been hurt so she has her walls up. We've been intimate and done everything but have sex. Since she has said she didn't want to date she said she still wants me in her life, she still has strong feelings for me, still walks to text me daily, and still hang out. She says she needs to work on herself first. Do you guys think by sticking around I would just be a convenience and it won't get anywhere? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 I think you need to listen to what she's saying. Don't fool yourself. Bottom line she is only 19 and has a lot of growing to do. You've lived your life already, she has not. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 So in other words she wants you to entertain her, keep her company and help her with errands and tasks until someone else comes along (that's when she'll "be ready" ) but is not "into" you and does not want to have a full-service romantic/sexual relationship with you. Do I have that right? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
oldshirt Posted January 20, 2015 Share Posted January 20, 2015 IMHO there is no such thing as "having walls up" and no such thing as "not ready." If Channing Tatum or Brad Cooper came along would her 'walls' stop her and would she tell them she's "not ready." Walls and ready are euphemisms people use to keep other people they are not really attracted to at arms distance untill someone that meets their criteria and trips their trigger comes along. If you were asking her to marry you the first week you met her, I would say she was right to have 'walls' up and to that she legitimately wasn't ready. But if you have been doing normal getting-to-know-you and normal dating, then she simply isn't into you and does not think you are "the one." There's no foul here by either party (unless you were planning the wedding and making a list of names for your babies with her) you dated and tried it, but it didn't work out in the long run. My advice is polite and courteous when you run into her but get back on the dating market and move on. This was simply something worth trying but didn't work out. Happens all the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author WIDESTI Posted January 21, 2015 Author Share Posted January 21, 2015 been through many relationships and never thought of it that way that's a very legitimate perspective on things. hmmmmmmm? IMHO there is no such thing as "having walls up" and no such thing as "not ready." If Channing Tatum or Brad Cooper came along would her 'walls' stop her and would she tell them she's "not ready." Walls and ready are euphemisms people use to keep other people they are not really attracted to at arms distance untill someone that meets their criteria and trips their trigger comes along. If you were asking her to marry you the first week you met her, I would say she was right to have 'walls' up and to that she legitimately wasn't ready. But if you have been doing normal getting-to-know-you and normal dating, then she simply isn't into you and does not think you are "the one." There's no foul here by either party (unless you were planning the wedding and making a list of names for your babies with her) you dated and tried it, but it didn't work out in the long run. My advice is polite and courteous when you run into her but get back on the dating market and move on. This was simply something worth trying but didn't work out. Happens all the time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 21, 2015 Share Posted January 21, 2015 Walls aren't something that spontaneously appear out of the blue making it impossible for her to fall for someone. Walls are what you put up to draw the line when you don't want the relationship to go any farther. She drew the line and is trying to be nice about it. It's a waste of time to try to keep up with her. She'd not interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Author WIDESTI Posted February 23, 2015 Author Share Posted February 23, 2015 so UPDATE: I stopped talking to her and started distancing myself. All of a sudden she wants to talk to me and thought I'd give it a shot. We mess around and everything but sex. She still says she isn't ready but "needs" me in her life. It weird it's like she bipolar... one day shes all about it and the next it's like nothing... Link to post Share on other sites
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