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So I have been friends with this girl I have known for 2 years, we are both juniors in college, I am 21 she is 20. We started hanging out a lot last year and I knew from meeting her the first day of college I was interested. We were both with somebody however and so she categorized me as just a friend.

 

Fast forward to a few months ago, we are both single and we start hanging out a lot more. About 3 weeks ago we hooked up at a party and I end up asking her on a date. For the next 3 weeks we act very affectionate, PDA and she is obviously interested. Anyway, we go on our date and the next day she says she is not feeling the interest anymore and that we should stay just friends.

 

I am kinda bummed out, since it seemed to be going great and then it just fizzled. She said the date went fine but I think it was not a romantic enough thing, it was very casual, we went to a museum, walked and talked, but it wasn't super romantically charged and so she ended up classifying me as just a friend again. She has been torn up majorly about it because mentally she knows I am very good for her and she wants to feel it but isn't anymore and cannot explain why. Whatever she had been feeling just up and disappeared after the date.

 

So now I am sitting her, still really interested but she does not think there is anything. Like I said, part of it is I think I did not act different enough from a friend and fell into the comfortable routine of just a friend. I also think a big part of it is that she does not want to date anyone after a string of less than great relationships that hurt her a lot and she wanted to stay single for a while to get past it.

 

I am looking for advice because honestly I am terrible at this, I keep telling myself to try and win her over again since it happened once but I am afraid it will ruin things. My plan was to use the winter break where I will never see her to work on myself, let her miss me and when she comes back in January after a month of not talking I could use the chance to leverage interest back but at the same time she seems sure it will not come back. Is there anything I can do to up my chances? I do not plan to throw all my eggs in one basket but it just seemed like the feelings should not up disappear in a matter of hours. I want to see if anyone has any advice, experiences or has any insight into how she may be feeling. Thanks everyone!

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I hate to say it buts it's true. I think she, like you, wanted something to happen but it just didn't happen for her. The three weeks of hanging out and PDA were her dipping her toes in the water but when she fully immersed on your date she just didn't feel it. And if someone doesn't feel it there is nothing you can do, no amount of trying to change who you are, that will change it.

 

I am sorry to say that you should just stay friends with her and move on. There are lots of other girls out there who will think you are a huge catch just the way you are. Go for them and leave her in the friend zone.

 

Good luck, stay strong and don't worry. Everything is going to be amazing.

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