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Friend of mine might be in too deep with her fiance


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Problem? Normally it wouldn't be. But when other local friends on Facebook start telling me that she is seeing a user, that is when I start to get confused and concerned. it may be nothing but I'm scrambling for answers here. For starters, he ALWAYS posts things like this on facebook (names edited out for privacy)"

 

"Just wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY (ed. note: it WAS her birthday) to my wonderful, beautiful, and amazing fiance ....the woman I will luckily get to spend the rest of my life with!!! I love you more than life itself!!! I hope this day is as beautiful as you. You deserve nothing but the absolute best in life!!! I love you (her name)!! Happy birthday!!! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥"

 

Not only is this...odd, I mean can you just call her on the phone and tell her that? He posts things similar to this online all the time, and they all seem like rehashes of the same thing. I probably have seen "I hope this day is as beautiful as you" maybe 8 times from him so far. It just seems...I dunno, but it raises red flags for me.

 

I'm obviously happy for them, but I'm the kind of guy that will TELL YOU TO YOUR FACE if I see something wrong and don't want you hurt, but morals dictate that I just sit and watch what happens. Am I just being observant to the point of paranoia here? She's in so deep that if it ended now I'm afraid she'll be irreversibly broken. Oh, and they both met and are engaged...within half a year.

 

justr worried that something is going to happen...how do I proceed?

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chimpanA-2-chimpanZ

I think she needs to be more worried about you than this guy. The comment about how she'll be "irreversibly broken" is incredibly condescending and sexist. Your only evidence of something amiss is that a) they post a lot of mushy Facebook statuses and b) some people were talking smack about him. If other people in the area are talking about how he's a "user" then I'm sure she's very aware of it. She's old enough to be engaged and moreover she's old enough to make her own decisions. I know a couple that met and became engaged after three months. Seven years later they're still very strong. Rushing into things is rarely a good idea but you just never know.

 

You may need to examine your own motivations and figure out why this upsets you so much.

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Let her make her own mistakes, if that is what this is going to become.

 

Has she come to you asking for advice? If not, then leave it alone.

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It may raise red flags for you but all I see is an overly demonstrative guy who loves his FI.

 

DH & I post mushy stuff to each others FB page sometimes. We like our relationship & love each other.

 

If an outsider does not care for how we chose to express ourselves, that's no concern of ours.

 

This "problem" is yours, not theirs. Keep your mouth shut or you will lose friends.

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DH & I post mushy stuff to each others FB page sometimes. We like our relationship & love each other.

 

I'm glad someone on here is in a happy relationship.

 

I was starting to think everyone was in love turmoil!

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You don't 'proceed', they are adults and are allowed to live their own lives, last time I checked?

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