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Is he in love with me?


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Over last few months, a guy I've known many years, we have become not only best friends but FWB. The other day he told me that he has cared about me for 10 years and its about more than sex for him, and that we have something special. I told him I feel the same. Now, I can't picture my life without him. I think I am falling in love with him. Question is, do I assume what he said means he loves me? I have never even had a man say the things he said to me, and I am a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to about these feelings. I am in my 30's and he is in his 40's. I can't stop thinking about him and I just dont know where to go from here. :)

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Oh dear..

 

Um. When a best guy friend genuinly falls in love, he asks the girl out and wants to take their relationship to the next level...... He doesn't ask her to become fwb:sick:

 

When a guy is really into a girl, he wants to have a relationship with her. They don't just have sex with them with no long term future planned out or hoped for.

 

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. If this guy has fallen hard for you, he'd make you more than a fwb.....

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Well, he's never asked me for FWB.... it just became that on its own. Its been that way for months. I had no idea that he has liked me for 10 years, as he said.

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Why do you refer to it as FWB? Has he never taken you out to dinner and paid or what? Does he ask you to go out on the town and go do activities or not? Are you just letting him be lazy and stay home and get laid? I don't get why you classify it as FWB unless he's just not doing anything but having sex with you. If you had car trouble, would you be able to call him any time day or night and he'd come get you? Is he married or living with another woman? I need more information because this doesn't make sense to me why you call it fwb unless he's married or never takes you out.

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Over last few months, a guy I've known many years, we have become not only best friends but FWB. The other day he told me that he has cared about me for 10 years and its about more than sex for him, and that we have something special. I told him I feel the same. Now, I can't picture my life without him. I think I am falling in love with him. Question is, do I assume what he said means he loves me? I have never even had a man say the things he said to me, and I am a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to about these feelings. I am in my 30's and he is in his 40's. I can't stop thinking about him and I just dont know where to go from here. :)

 

Unless and until a man says "I Love You", he isn't in love with you. Saying those things usually means it's going that way, but he isn't quite there yet or sure. Do not try to coax it out of him. Let it unfold naturally. You have told him how you feel and he understands that it's ok for him to tell you if he wants to.

 

If he is/has fallen in love with you, you will likely sense that he will pull away for a short time while he processes that very intense emotion. This will be a key time in the development of the relationship. You should allow him the space he needs. Your response should be balanced accordingly.

 

He will close up whatever space he needs when he is ready. Sometimes, though, the man will become "scared" to the point where he doesn't close up that space. You should be prepared for it if it happens and accept it with dignity and respect.

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Why do you refer to it as FWB? Has he never taken you out to dinner and paid or what? Does he ask you to go out on the town and go do activities or not? Are you just letting him be lazy and stay home and get laid? I don't get why you classify it as FWB unless he's just not doing anything but having sex with you. If you had car trouble, would you be able to call him any time day or night and he'd come get you? Is he married or living with another woman? I need more information because this doesn't make sense to me why you call it fwb unless he's married or never takes you out.

 

We go out every weekend and text everyday. We are best friends. Yes, if I needed anything or in a bind he would be there in a flash. But we have also been getting more intimate and have slept together a couple times. As time goes on we get more affectionate at random times. Guess I just call it FWB because we really were only friends at 1st. And we come from a circle of friends that goes back many years. So if it isn't FWB I don't know what it is, especially now that he says how much he cares about me, etc.

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Well I think I have the answer to my own question. I believe we are falling for eachother. Now we are saying we miss eachother when it's been 2 days since I saw him last. So I do think something is evolving, but I don't want to push it or start a discussion with him about it, yet anyway. Time will tell, I guess. :)

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Why do you refer to it as FWB? Has he never taken you out to dinner and paid or what? Does he ask you to go out on the town and go do activities or not? Are you just letting him be lazy and stay home and get laid? I don't get why you classify it as FWB unless he's just not doing anything but having sex with you. If you had car trouble, would you be able to call him any time day or night and he'd come get you? Is he married or living with another woman? I need more information because this doesn't make sense to me why you call it fwb unless he's married or never takes you out.

 

Hmm... My FWB has taken me out on dates and paid (I've paid for a couple as well, since I've been more flush), and we've hung out with friends (his flatmate told me she'd "heard a lot about me"when we met) and I'd say we mostly go out, rather than stay in.

It still doesn't make it a relationship. It isn't. Sure, it's a bit more than just a casual sex buddy, we've developed a connection of sorts, but with him being away we don't even entertain the idea of making it something more.

 

Maybe down the road, if he stays in town for a good long while.

 

Going out on dates does not a relationship make, is all I'm saying...

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That is correct. All the time we spend together hasn't made me think its a relationship, but yes more than FWB. Its when feelings start coming up, that make me wonder whats really going on. The other night he was the one to start talking about me, and us, and how he wants me to know that it's not about just sex for him, etc. So I think we are slowly developing real feelings for eachother, at this point, but as for what that means for us down the road I'm not sure.

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I think what you have here is a lifeless relationship. He probably thinks you're a girlfriend but he's not putting out much effort and doesn't sound like he's enough for you or you'd be thinking you're his girlfriend.

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LostInTheWild

Don't get too carried away until he makes a move or you guys talk about it. Otherwise, you're going to find yourself in a world of hurt.

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Over last few months, a guy I've known many years, we have become not only best friends but FWB. The other day he told me that he has cared about me for 10 years and its about more than sex for him, and that we have something special. I told him I feel the same. Now, I can't picture my life without him. I think I am falling in love with him. Question is, do I assume what he said means he loves me? I have never even had a man say the things he said to me, and I am a bit overwhelmed and not sure what to about these feelings. I am in my 30's and he is in his 40's. I can't stop thinking about him and I just dont know where to go from here. :)

 

Um, yes I think you're both falling in love. It's that simple. Just because you were FWB doesn't mean it can't develop into something else. It's only natural if anything.

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