Jump to content

What Did I Do Wrong?


Recommended Posts

I met a young man, who is the roommate of a friend of mine, at a party hosted by friends a couple of months ago. He is 27, I am 38. He paid me a compliment, I sort of brushed him off, was even a little rude, and didn't talk to him the rest of the evening.

 

A month later, at another party, he was there again. My friend/his roommate mentioned to me that he found me intriguing which seemed weird to me as I was rude to him the month before. I wanted to apologize to him for my rudeness, so I found him and did just that. We started chatting. He was very sweet and complimentary. This time, I was my normal nice self.

 

As it turns out, another girl in our circle has a huge crush on him. She is closer to his age, but married (although her marriage is a mess right now). She was at the party, I knew she liked him, so I was careful not to be too flirty. But she left the party around midnight and he came and found me, we ended up talking for hours and before we said goodnight, he kissed me and asked for my number. I gave it to him.

 

He called the next day and invited me over. I ended up spending the night with him. We texted and talked over the next couple of weeks and then ended up at his roommates birthday party together. The party was fun, we wandered off together a few times, kissing and flirting. He asked me to come home with him when in a couple of hours, I said yes. Then the girl with the crush on him showed up. When he was ready to leave, he said his goodnights, and then I said I was leaving too and said mine. We left, taking his car and leaving mine there since I had been drinking. I spent the night with him again.

 

To me this was a very casual situation. Neither of us was obvious about anything, which was fine with me. He is way too young for me. We texted a little over the next couple of days but then I got pretty sick and was MIA for about a week and a half.

 

When I was better, I texted him to see what he was doing Friday night. He seemed upset with me that I was asking. He shut me down, hard. I left him alone. This past Saturday, a week after the shut down, there was another party, we were all supposed to show up to. I went, not thinking anything was wrong. But then he did not show up and neither did the girl with the crush. Apparently there is some drama going on with both of them, but I have no idea if the two are related. My friend didn't know either, or at least she wasn't telling me. I am pretty sure the crush girl noticed that my car was still at the house after the birthday party, so she probably correctly assumed we left together.

 

The next day I texted to tell him I missed him at the party and ask if we were okay. No reply.

 

What, if anything, did I do wrong? Is there something I missed? Generational problem? I know the answer is to just let it go, which I will do. But I would love some insight in to the situation. Any thoughts?

Link to post
Share on other sites

When you got sick after texting, were you owing him a text? Because stupid and immature as it may be, as you will see on this forum, people think constant texting is a must and any delay is inexcusable and punishable by death.

 

I certainly wouldn't bother to stay out of a married girl's way with him. Sounds like some drama. Maybe lies passed around if it's not he thought you snubbed him. But I wouldn't break a sweat over it if so.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

Thanks, I don't think it is me. I sent him the last text so if anything, he owed me one. But I don't freak out about stuff like that. Too old I guess. My gut is telling me more and more that she is making drama. Perhaps making things up about me. It is sad, although he is young, he was really nice to spend time with. I guess the age difference really shows when drama sets in.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, she probably said some crap about you or that you were diseased or something. I mean, obviously, if she's going after a guy while she's married to another one, she isn't particularly ethical in general.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

No doubt, I think just writing it all down made me see how childish the situation was. I should have known better. I think I just wanted to know why but I realize that isn't going to help. Better to let it all go. Thank you very much for your replies, I appreciate them.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 5 months later...
  • Author

Way late update, but I did finally find out what happened. Apparently he met a nice girl, they've been in a relationship since and are very happy. So happy for them.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, good for her. Now she has the guy who couldn't be bothered to send you one text saying, Sorry, I met someone. Jeez. Sorry.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Standard-Fare

I think your mistake (if you did want this to continue) was to drop off the planet for a week or so with your contact. Even if you were sick. And even if this was casual.

 

I'm sure he assumed you were over it, as anyone would have in that position. And I'm sure he was a little miffed when you resurfaced later acting like it was no big deal. You can't just have everything magically gel into place with your own schedule and desires.

 

It does seem best for you to just let it go. Maybe you'll have a chance to see him in person later and clear things up.

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...