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Is it bad etiquette to tell people you have a FWB?


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If people ask you if you're single, and you answer yes, should you tell them you have a FWB? Or is it still taboo and will it look trashy, especially if you're a woman? I just don't want people to think that I'm not getting any.

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nomadic_butterfly
If people ask you if you're single, and you answer yes, should you tell them you have a FWB? Or is it still taboo and will it look trashy, especially if you're a woman? I just don't want people to think that I'm not getting any.

 

Why does it matter either way? It's your life! It's tacky to ask that info if it is not volunteered. I can't understand why anyone would be that concerned with what does or doesn't go on in your bedroom unless they themselves are interested.

 

There's nothing wrong with not having sex if you prefer it to be in a commitment or marriage or even if right now for any given reason you are not having it. Don't succumb to the societal pressures or put on a facade to "not look uncool." I personally don't ask people that kind of thing unless it weaves into relevant convo. And in general hearing explicit details of my friends' sex lives makes me cringe. A vague detail, fine if fitting, but as an artist I am highly visual and don't wanna picture a friend doing the nasty.

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It's TMI but if you have more flexible boundaries then I do you can tell people anything you like about yourself.

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I don't usually mention FWB unless the conversation is about having FWBs...

 

If people ask me if I'm single, I say yes. Usually the FWB is just someone I'm sleeping with, which doesn't preclude me from meeting and dating other people.

 

The FWB thing I have going on right now is a bit more complicated, so when asked if I'm single, I'll say that technically yes, but that I'm seeing someone.

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I wouldn't go around telling anyone I have a FWB for the simple reason people talk and it will get around you will accept that kind of relationship and guys only wanting sex will line up. But if you want sex with a lot of guys who aren't about to commit, then sure.

 

However, it is too much information and especially in a FWB relationship, he's not going to appreciate it if you go around talking about it because it will make it look like he's not single. I think FWB is something to keep to yourself and private except for if you have a trusted best friend who doesn't gossip. But everyone gossips.

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I just don't want people to think that I'm not getting any.

 

Why are you concerned with people knowing what is happening with your sex life? And who are all these "people"?

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Who cares if you're getting any or not? Why do you want people to know?

 

That, to me, shows huge amounts of insecurity.

 

In any case, I'd rather that people NOT know I had a FWB.

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I would not post it on facebook, but I guess a potential suitor (asking you if you are single) might want to know.

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Why are you concerned with people knowing what is happening with your sex life? And who are all these "people"?

 

Just people in general, co-workers, and my cousin who for whatever the heck reason cares whenever she sees me she asks me if I'm dating anyone. But sometimes it seems people are just I don't know being a smart-ass about it or bullying if that's even the right word to use. Or maybe they pity me..I mean, if they are soo concerned with my love life, I might as well share the intimate details about all the fun I've been having with my FWB, right??? :laugh:

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todreaminblue

to me having sex with someone isnt particularly single.....its a "complicated" relationship....complicated that there are no discernable ties...other than sex.....i would think an honest reply to are you single in this case....is i am single but have been seeing someone for x amount of time.....whether you admit to yourself or not having sex with someone is a relationship..a sexual one.......deb

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Co-workers and your cousin? Well, why the heck not?! If anybody is nosy enough to ask if you're single or still single or whatever is going through their minds, say heck yeah but I have rockin' sex with a FWB so everything's good!

 

But potential dates? Um...not so much. Because some people do not yet get the concept (welcome to 2014) that women have no-strings sex and enjoy themselves.

 

I had a FWB after a horrible breakup with an abusive guy (it was so bad) to de-stress and still have some form of a relationship (even if it was strictly sexual) until I had plenty of time to get rid of the baggage from that disgusting ex and finally be ready for a fully committed "real" relationship.

 

It was so much fun! No-strings=awesome! :love::D

 

But when I found someone I wanted to be in a committed relationship with, I had to break the news to FWB guy. He wasn't happy but that was one of the terms from day one with our situation we both agreed to.

 

So, I moved on and things went rather well, actually. I was in a great place mentally. I was super happy. In great physical shape. Ready for a commitment. Brought lots of enthusiasm to the table. It was th...

 

It was the HEALTHIEST thing I'd EVER DONE. I highly recommend it! ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...
If people ask you if you're single, and you answer yes, should you tell them you have a FWB? Or is it still taboo and will it look trashy, especially if you're a woman? I just don't want people to think that I'm not getting any.

 

Be careful how much you tell people, stuff can and will get around to people you dont want knowing.

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Yeah I would agree with luckylady. Coworkers and friends go for it but yeah it might turn off potential dates.

 

Dude your a guy. If your friends and cousins ask you had better be giving them details. And don't let anyone fool you. I have a lot of "classy" female friends and they talk just as much as us guys.

 

I guess you could say you have a "casual" relationship. But if you are interested in a special woman then don't tell her because its too easy for her to think it would continue if she were to start dating you.

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Yeah I would agree with luckylady. Coworkers and friends go for it but yeah it might turn off potential dates.

 

Dude your a guy. If your friends and cousins ask you had better be giving them details. And don't let anyone fool you. I have a lot of "classy" female friends and they talk just as much as us guys.

 

I guess you could say you have a "casual" relationship. But if you are interested in a special woman then don't tell her because its too easy for her to think it would continue if she were to start dating you.

 

I'm a woman by the way, not a guy.

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If you have sex with somebody on a semi-regular basis, you aren't single.

 

Seeing somebody, with somebody etc. basically cover what is going on.

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sdrawkcaB ssA

No, but there are some bisexuals who keep it a secret and that is the worst IMO for being bad etiquette.

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todreaminblue

i thin its honest to say if you are sleeping with someone then to say yes i am seeing someone on an doff....you dont have to say f...cking a guy.....or a woman....i dont see the problem really in stating when you are single...if you are single theres no shame in being single..it doesnt mean anything lesser to not be "getting any"........deb

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to me having sex with someone isnt particularly single.....its a "complicated" relationship....complicated that there are no discernable ties...other than sex.....i would think an honest reply to are you single in this case....is i am single but have been seeing someone for x amount of time.....whether you admit to yourself or not having sex with someone is a relationship..a sexual one.......deb

 

Well, I didn't think of it that way..I guess I would call it "complicated" seeing that we just have been hooking up, no getting wined and dined or dating..

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