TigerLilly78 Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Ok so if you look back on my threads in this section you will see I am meeting a very dear friend of mine soon and that's awesome im happy. Now the only thing it seams he has plans on our 1st meet up to be basically him and his father coming to pick me up and we all go out to dinner. Now that sounds fine in theory how ever I am a very nervous person around new people so to meet my friend will be stressful enough yet alone the father in the exact same shot at the exact same time! I was kind of hoping I could maybe meet him alone in a public place 1st even if its just for a short while before we meet up with his dad for dinner. How ever im not to sure if that's asking to much? if that makes sense.. How would I even go about saying something like that with out seaming weird or insulting? they are both coming down to were I live so yeah..any advice is much apshiated Thanks guys.. Link to post Share on other sites
carrie_o Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Why not be honest? I am a very nervous person around new people so to meet my friend will be stressful enough yet alone the father in the exact same shot at the exact same time! Say something like you wrote above. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TigerLilly78 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 Why not be honest? Say something like you wrote above. I know but I just wasn't sure if its asking to much im guessing he wants to meet up all together cause it feels comfortable for him? I mean I have no issues meeting his dad but at the exact same time..the thought gives me a panic attack just thinking about it and I guess I was wondering if that's wrong in some way.. Link to post Share on other sites
carrie_o Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 Of course it feels more comfortable for him; it's his dad! But you need to feel comfortable too. You shouldn't get panic attacks about the meeting. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TigerLilly78 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 Of course it feels more comfortable for him; it's his dad! But you need to feel comfortable too. You shouldn't get panic attacks about the meeting. Thanks for that I know I cant help it seams it just happens especially the last few years..I just didn't want to seam like a weirdo asking him that I guess I will just figure out a way to say what im thinking to him eventuality as I guess its ok to feel this way..I think most people would have no prob meeting like that tho? Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 I don't think meeting with a little while before will prepare you any better to meet his dad. He's just gonna tell you to relax and be yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author TigerLilly78 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 I don't think meeting with a little while before will prepare you any better to meet his dad. He's just gonna tell you to relax and be yourself. No it would cause it would give me the time to adjust to him 1st its just the overload of meeting him and the dad 1st im stressing over. If I was at least comfortable with him then the dad would be less stressful and overwhelming.. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 I'm a people person. So while I don't exactly understand why your friend is bringing his dad, I think you need to find a way to suck it up & get through the meal. If you are really that freaked out, and I suppose a scenario where you are meeting two strange men for the 1st time has overriding safety considerations, you need to put that out there. Point blank ask, is there any way the 1st meeting can just be the two of us? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted July 22, 2014 Share Posted July 22, 2014 No it would cause it would give me the time to adjust to him 1st its just the overload of meeting him and the dad 1st im stressing over. If I was at least comfortable with him then the dad would be less stressful and overwhelming.. So you're meeting this guy for the first time? Why would he be bringing his dad? Is there something I'm missing here? Link to post Share on other sites
Author TigerLilly78 Posted July 22, 2014 Author Share Posted July 22, 2014 So you're meeting this guy for the first time? Why would he be bringing his dad? Is there something I'm missing here? Yes 1st time ever they are coming to help me move..I have a few other threads on it might help you understand a bit better.. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 I'm taking it you've never met this guy before and now suddenly it's meeting two strange guys, not one. So yes, that could be even scary. Here's what you do. You bring someone with you, someone not small and helpless. Fair is fair. Don't go do that alone. Say if you're bringing someone, I'm bringing someone too. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted July 23, 2014 Share Posted July 23, 2014 i often meet guys parents and i dont feel nervous just excited..... especially if i care for them and if they are my dear friend i would have trust in them..... i think you should just be honest with how you feel and see if you can work out a compromise.....that suits both of you......deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author TigerLilly78 Posted July 25, 2014 Author Share Posted July 25, 2014 (edited) Hey guys yeah its not really a afraid of them kind of situation I just want to make that clear more as a stressed out over our 1st meet and toss meeting his dad into the mix as well at the exact same moment. So yeah im not afraid of him I trust him completely and his dad im just overwhelmed that's all their coming to help me move out of this area so yeah cant really bring anyone with me not that I know anyone here anyways hence why im leaving I guess..lol https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/friends-lovers/485735-moving-starting-over-excited Thats a link explaining things more if anyone wanted to read its not long.. Edited July 25, 2014 by TigerLilly78 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 25, 2014 Share Posted July 25, 2014 Since dad will be helping you move too, I think you gotta just bite the bullet on this one. Moving help is hard to find. Link to post Share on other sites
Potion9 Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 I had a first meetup with a Girl friend and her mom, But I figured this was probably just because I am male and she is female having a first time meetup. I got along with her and her mom really well and things actually turned out really good. But I did dread every moment beforehand because her mom being in the mix, and I was a little off from my normal self, thinking of what to say and what not to say in conversation with the mom being their the whole time etc. I didn't have a choice and had to go along with it, but it did turn out good in the end. If you have a choice, just ask for first meeting being the 2 of you. He shouldn't mind at all. Link to post Share on other sites
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