FrostBlaze Posted April 17, 2014 Share Posted April 17, 2014 I find it hard to keep friends, it's a real high maintanance job or i am just overthinking it. You see, i am a introvert and i like a lot of alone time, literally days when i don't feel like talking to anyone. I can make friends with people pretty quick once i start talking to them, they like me so much that they contact me often, tend to end up in close/best friends positions with them but it's shortlived. Because i want my alone time, and past the initial Blast, i am not very talkative, so i can go long periods without really talking to you.(initiating is what i mean, but i will talk if contacted, but i won't really be in it). But when i come back, i come back from where we left off and i'm happy and want to talk, but the other folk kind of Moved on. They no longer really care about talking to me and just act like more of a aquaintance then a friend... Then i have to get out of my comfort zone and be very social just to get them interested again. People use FB a lot to keep in contact, liking everything...blablah, i find it silly and i don't. It's really tireing...i want my friends but my alone time also, sucks when i get downgraded from bf or friend to just "that guy" we know. What can be done...or am i just imagining it? Do all introverts have these problems... Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 I kind of understand where you are coming from. I'm pretty introverted too. Friendships are too much work to maintain, and my interest are way different than most of my friends, so I just enjoy my own company most of the time. Don't get me wrong, I love to go out every once in a while, but not every weekend. This life is a lonely experience, friends come and go. If these people, you speak of, were your friends, they wouldn't vanish just because you can't be attached to the hip with them when convenient. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 people sap my strength because i am empathic and an introvert at the very heart of me i need my alone time to throw talk up to the guy who knows me best.......i get overloaded and short out.......makes me cranky and short with people i love.......you have to be with people who understand your needs and are relaxed people........who know if you disappear are confident enough to know you will pop up again renewed and ready to have some fun....if the people who are around you are a bit insecure about your feelings then you need to let them know and reassure them you care.......you need to be honest when you need some time to yourself...my friends and family know this and actually tell me mum or deb you need to chill out for a while because ill push myself to where i shouldnt go...i actually go physically down hill......my elvira streak i have in my hair came back lol......its gone pure white now.......took some time for myself got rid of a toxic relationship and a stray who was abusive and i am back on my feet nearly...dont worry about friends who are cold to you when you return they were always aquaintances......but forgive people who dont understand how you are .....and explain to them you like your alone time that you need it actually........ a true friend will never deny your needs and will want to understand you...to eb a true friend you have to understand sometimes people who love you get hurt when you dont communicate and they worry......so you need to communicate maybe before you take time out that you need to just chill out.......you are responsible to the people who love you, their needs are your concern as well as your needs are a concern for them..........best wishes.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 18, 2014 Share Posted April 18, 2014 I have the same problem. People like me and I have no problem making friends. But then I don't want to hang out as often as they do, and that is multiple times a week :/ Some get turned off and fade away while others stay around and adjust to my pace. My best friend of 10 years always wants to hang out more often than I do but she knows me well and doesn't get offended when I want alone time. I still see her once a week or 2 though...I also have a core group of other 5-6 friends that I see once or twice a month and they have also been around for long, we sleep over at each other's places, so we are past acquintance stage. Link to post Share on other sites
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