Ginaa Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 okay so this guy told me that he likes me but doesnt want a relationship at the moment, what does that really mean ? This is exactly what he said, if that helps : Well I think I should just tell you how I feel I hope that makes it easier for you. so I like you in that way too as you may have realised, but I dont think I can have another relationship at this moment. I dont want to play with feelings. Thats why I am trying to be as right up with my feelings as possible. Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 13, 2014 Share Posted February 13, 2014 (edited) Think of it like this: let's pretend that you don't like anal sex and that you've never tried it before. Statistically, it's probably the case that you're not a fan of it. If you don't like anal sex, does that mean that you'll never try it? You might say "well, it depends on the circumstances." If a bodacious hunk...6'2" dude, six pack abs, glorious hair, 240 pounds, appears at your front door and says "hey baby, I wanna stick it where the sun don't shine," then you might be influenced. How can you pass up an opportunity to have sex with a dude that belongs on the cover or romance novels? You could cook scrambled eggs on those abs. Maybe a businessman will appear at your front door and say "hello, my name is Mr. Money. I'm here to offer you 1 million dollars to have anal sex with you." Would you do it? I know I would. I'd do it for 50,000 dollars. However, if it's a casual date with a guy you don't even know, then you'll probably say "get lost creep" when he introduces the idea of sexual exploration. My point being is that he doesn't want a relationship with you at the moment. He probably is going through some things, but is there a possibility that he'll come across this perfect woman with the most bodacious body he's ever seen and end up getting into a relationship with her? It's a possibility. In your situation, he's not ready to get into a relationship. He may be interested in you, but you might have not entirely convinced him to pursue you. Perhaps you're not physically attractive enough, or maybe the compatibility is not as good as he'd like it to be. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's not a good thing either. At this point, anything could happen. Edited February 13, 2014 by TheyCallMeOx 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Eggplant Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Thats why I am trying to be as right up with my feelings as possible.He is being direct with you, courteously. He doesn't want a relationship. Why he doesn't is irrelevant. All you need to know is the "no" part. He's covering his bases so that he isn't responsible for leading you on. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
czanclus Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 My point being is that he doesn't want a relationship with you at the moment. He probably is going through some things, but is there a possibility that he'll come across this perfect woman with the most bodacious body he's ever seen and end up getting into a relationship with her? It's a possibility. In your situation, he's not ready to get into a relationship. He may be interested in you, but you might have not entirely convinced him to pursue you. Perhaps you're not physically attractive enough, or maybe the compatibility is not as good as he'd like it to be. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's not a good thing either. At this point, anything could happen. Just curious, why is 'bodacious body' the main quality of relationship-material? What if the woman is an unsung b***h? Also, does 'bodacious body' really translate into great in 'bed'? What if her vagina can't get wet no matter how much foreplay is given time to, and she's so self-absorbed that only her pleasure matters? Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 He wants you to know not to get attached, not to expect a relationship its not on offer ....could it be.....maybe...mayeb in two weeks time he will feel different..but dont hold your breath dont wait for a relationship if that is what you want...this guy isnt going to be the one who gives you a relationship now or even in the foreseeable future no promises given or perceived....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
czanclus Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 okay so this guy told me that he likes me but doesnt want a relationship at the moment, what does that really mean ? This is exactly what he said, if that helps : Well I think I should just tell you how I feel I hope that makes it easier for you. so I like you in that way too as you may have realised, but I dont think I can have another relationship at this moment. I dont want to play with feelings. Thats why I am trying to be as right up with my feelings as possible. To contribute more directly to the topic, could you give a little more context as to how this conversation happened? Did you discuss your feelings for him before his declaration of non-interest-for-the-time-being? If I (ever) initiated such conversation by stating my feelings and got what you wrote as a response, I would interpret that as a polite declination of the prospect of us being a couple. If on the other hand a guy just said it point blank while we were doing something entirely unrelated to romantic bonding, I would interpret it as being torn by his attraction to me and whatever principles are preventing him from acting on it. I say 'ever' (in the first case) because I would not make a guy state these things by asking any such questions. The way I see it is, if he wanted me badly enough to circumvent anything that might be in the way of us being together, he would be taking noticeable action. Him not taking any noticeable action is testament to the fact that he doesn't want me badly enough, so at best the attraction has been felt by him at certain points in time, but wasn't strong enough to change his behavior. Either way, I hope things work out for the best, whatever that might be in your case. Link to post Share on other sites
TheyCallMeOx Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Just curious, why is 'bodacious body' the main quality of relationship-material? What if the woman is an unsung b***h? Can you please quote me where I said that it is? I'm curious to how you came up with the idea that I was saying that having a bodacious body is the "main quality of relationship-material." Let me know that, and I'll comment further. Also, does 'bodacious body' really translate into great in 'bed'? What if her vagina can't get wet no matter how much foreplay is given time to, and she's so self-absorbed that only her pleasure matters? To answer your first question, no. There are many people throughout the world who have great bodies but are terrible at sex. However, you can't tell who is and isn't great at sex based on their physical appearance. We typically find out who is good and bad at sex after we have sex with them (or maybe during). Keep in mind, I said "perfect woman." A perfect woman wouldn't be self-absorbed in her own pleasure. Link to post Share on other sites
Priv Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 Think of it like this: let's pretend that you don't like anal sex and that you've never tried it before. Statistically, it's probably the case that you're not a fan of it. If you don't like anal sex, does that mean that you'll never try it? You might say "well, it depends on the circumstances." If a bodacious hunk...6'2" dude, six pack abs, glorious hair, 240 pounds, appears at your front door and says "hey baby, I wanna stick it where the sun don't shine," then you might be influenced. How can you pass up an opportunity to have sex with a dude that belongs on the cover or romance novels? You could cook scrambled eggs on those abs. Maybe a businessman will appear at your front door and say "hello, my name is Mr. Money. I'm here to offer you 1 million dollars to have anal sex with you." Would you do it? I know I would. I'd do it for 50,000 dollars. However, if it's a casual date with a guy you don't even know, then you'll probably say "get lost creep" when he introduces the idea of sexual exploration. My point being is that he doesn't want a relationship with you at the moment. He probably is going through some things, but is there a possibility that he'll come across this perfect woman with the most bodacious body he's ever seen and end up getting into a relationship with her? It's a possibility. In your situation, he's not ready to get into a relationship. He may be interested in you, but you might have not entirely convinced him to pursue you. Perhaps you're not physically attractive enough, or maybe the compatibility is not as good as he'd like it to be. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but it's not a good thing either. At this point, anything could happen. I am going to like this because A. you are escalating a simple question into a methaphor for anal sex and B. you obviously thought about the possibility that someone might ask you for anal sex in exchange for money and have found your own personal monetary flippoint. To answer the question, could be a hundred things; just out of a relationship, not that into you, looking for FWB, not feeling stable enough to provide for a GF etc. etc.. Ask him. Link to post Share on other sites
OpheliaSong Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 He means I am emotionally unavailable, so if you want more than sex and casual dates, you should save yourself a world of hurt and move on. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 It means he doesn't want a relationship with you. Sorry. Move on... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Raena Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 okay so this guy told me that he likes me but doesnt want a relationship at the moment, what does that really mean ? This is exactly what he said, if that helps : Well I think I should just tell you how I feel I hope that makes it easier for you. so I like you in that way too as you may have realised, but I dont think I can have another relationship at this moment. I dont want to play with feelings. Thats why I am trying to be as right up with my feelings as possible. It means exactly what he said. Men don't usually waffle around giving half-assed explanations of how they think and feel. He's telling you he isn't interested in a relationship. He likes you, but he isn't all about you. So you can choose to continue to hang out with him knowing that he doesn't want it to be something more serious or you can move on. It's your choice. He told you what he's thinking and feeling, now it's up to you to choose how to handle it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Agam Posted February 14, 2014 Share Posted February 14, 2014 You might be thinking about all the rude comments aforementioned, but please let me clear you that you should first analyse that does he really likes you. U can end up in two ways. First a yes, if so than think it of how, then analyse them in reality not in ur asuumed world. Secondly if the answer to ur ques is a.no then u must move on to any other person who really likes u Link to post Share on other sites
czanclus Posted February 16, 2014 Share Posted February 16, 2014 Can you please quote me where I said that it is? I'm curious to how you came up with the idea that I was saying that having a bodacious body is the "main quality of relationship-material." Let me know that, and I'll comment further. Um... the quote was included with my initial question, but to restate it, see below: "My point being is that he doesn't want a relationship with you at the moment. He probably is going through some things, but is there a possibility that he'll come across this perfect woman with the most bodacious body he's ever seen and end up getting into a relationship with her?" Interpretation (basically a paraphrase): Guy doesn't want a relationship with OP at the moment. Possibly it's other reasons, but there's also a possibility that if a woman with the most bodacious body walked into his life, he'd end up in a relationship with her. To state once again my question next: Why would the possibility of him getting into a relationship with someone else be hinged on her bodacious body as the one and only (thus presumably main) relevant quality? Thx Link to post Share on other sites
Robynhood Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 This type of dilemma happened to me not long ago. I asked a guy I was seeing for a couple of months where we stood. He told me he likes me too but didn't want a relationship he just wasn't ready. I posted on here got some advice and most of it was leave while you can. But some part of me knew that I really liked this guy and didn't want him out of my life. Now we are in a committed relationship and going strong. I guess what I am saying here is trust your gutt. At the time my so didn't want a relationship but continued to do relationship things. If you guys act like you are in a relationship and you are getting everything you need emotionally and physically from him why do you need the relationship title. Just take it for what it is and be secure with what you have the title will come with time or will be something that you won't have to discuss bc you both just know! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shinealight Posted February 24, 2014 Share Posted February 24, 2014 I am in the same situation as you and she said the same thing to me does not want a relationship (find someone else *better than me*). She even told me she doesn't want to be with her boyfriend but because the relationship is .. up, she cant dump him at the moment. I am just trying to move on and find someone who actually does want a relationship, because to be honest it is not worth the effort waiting around she even told me don't wait around for me, i mean you can but i don't know what will happen. Like the post above me said if you really like him then wait around but to be honest i don't think it is worth it, there is plenty more fish in the sea ^.^ Link to post Share on other sites
Jethro Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 If you guys act like you are in a relationship and you are getting everything you need emotionally and physically from him why do you need the relationship title. Just take it for what it is and be secure with what you have the title will come with time or will be something that you won't have to discuss bc you both just know! Why? Because what it usually means when someone doesn't want to give it a title is that they can nail anything they want anytime they want. It usually doesn't mean "We are exclusive but I'm not ready to commit." I'm fine without the title, but I also don't like my girls to come around and I'm sloppy seconds. People are whores these days! Men and women! Without the title no one feels bad if they get a piece of strange, and that is usually what it is 100% about. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 okay so this guy told me that he likes me but doesnt want a relationship at the moment, what does that really mean ? This is exactly what he said, if that helps : Well I think I should just tell you how I feel I hope that makes it easier for you. so I like you in that way too as you may have realised, but I dont think I can have another relationship at this moment. I dont want to play with feelings. Thats why I am trying to be as right up with my feelings as possible. He means, he doesn't want a relationship at that time, with you. There's no reading between the lines here OP, no secrets to decode. That's what it really means. Really. Take it literally, because that's exactly what he means. Do not lower yourself by chasing him to have a relationship with you either. When a guy says he's not interested, don't question it. Don't try to interpret it to mean something else because you want it to mean something else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ginaa Posted February 25, 2014 Author Share Posted February 25, 2014 This type of dilemma happened to me not long ago. I asked a guy I was seeing for a couple of months where we stood. He told me he likes me too but didn't want a relationship he just wasn't ready. I posted on here got some advice and most of it was leave while you can. But some part of me knew that I really liked this guy and didn't want him out of my life. Now we are in a committed relationship and going strong. I guess what I am saying here is trust your gutt. At the time my so didn't want a relationship but continued to do relationship things. If you guys act like you are in a relationship and you are getting everything you need emotionally and physically from him why do you need the relationship title. Just take it for what it is and be secure with what you have the title will come with time or will be something that you won't have to discuss bc you both just know! I think you are right There is no need to push things, and Im just going to see what happens. He actually asked me out to go eat at a Restaurant the other day, and called it a date, so now Im more confused but I will just see what he does, because im done initiating anything. If he wants me, he has to work for it. He still texts me almost everyday, and flirts to, so eh we shall see thanks for the advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Biscous Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 What everyone said is spot on. I like the anal sex analogy lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts