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Can a casual hookup buddy turn into a relationship?


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

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Old 4th September 2013, 5:13 PM   #1
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Can a casual hookup buddy turn into a relationship?

So I have this guy that I met at a party last year and eventually we started hooking up. Mainly just on drunken nights.

I am confused though because during these times, even if it just feels like a booty call, he will do other things that seem like he likes me MORE than just a piece of ***. Like not too long ago we watched a movie and cuddled. We ended up hooking up the next day, but not that night. He would kiss my forehead, my back, and just hold me close when I was sleeping. This is really just one example. The most recent one. And I have been slowly developing feelings and I think I would like to try going out sometime.

He always slept in my bed and never just left and we always cuddle. We also talked about everything, from our jobs to school, our family, pets, pretty much everything.

But it seems like the only time we have hung out are late nights... He is sending me mixed signals because I would expect a casual sex buddy to not be as intimate as it is.

Would it be possible to turn this into a relationship?

If you think so, what should I say or how should I approach this. If not, be honest because I apparently need a wake up call.
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Old 4th September 2013, 8:07 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bahhhh View Post
So I have this guy that I met at a party last year and eventually we started hooking up. Mainly just on drunken nights.

I am confused though because during these times, even if it just feels like a booty call, he will do other things that seem like he likes me MORE than just a piece of ***. Like not too long ago we watched a movie and cuddled. We ended up hooking up the next day, but not that night. He would kiss my forehead, my back, and just hold me close when I was sleeping. This is really just one example. The most recent one. And I have been slowly developing feelings and I think I would like to try going out sometime.

He always slept in my bed and never just left and we always cuddle. We also talked about everything, from our jobs to school, our family, pets, pretty much everything.

But it seems like the only time we have hung out are late nights... He is sending me mixed signals because I would expect a casual sex buddy to not be as intimate as it is.

Would it be possible to turn this into a relationship?

If you think so, what should I say or how should I approach this. If not, be honest because I apparently need a wake up call.


Well first of all, you may think it is your p*ssy that is the hottest draw to the men all around you, and to the men you've known intimately over time.

The fact is that the big draw is your consent and your vulnerability. So who wouldn't be further drawn to somebody who expressed her want and need for sexual interaction... time and time again?


Not only that, but it is only natural that people are more attracted to those with whom they share sex... because they shared sex.

So while it is difficult to guess at the individual in question here... I sure wouldn't rule out any path of evolution as you go toward the future.

From where you are, I'm guessing that the best path toward dating and relating might be a continuation of the intimacy you have been sharing. At the very least, it would give you a major understanding that the guy is indeed capable of the depth of shared intimacy that you would like.

(*** and when I say intimacy in this context, I do not mean merely the raw f*cking)


PS - nice loveshack handle you've got there (LOL - what an effort!)
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Old 9th September 2013, 6:03 PM   #3
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If you're enjoying yourself now just keep doing what you're doing.

Don't worry about whether it will get serious later. You can guarantee that it won't go anywhere further by trying to force that to happen.
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Old 9th September 2013, 6:08 PM   #4
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When I saw the title of your post, my first reaction was "If you are a guy, yes. If you are a girl, no."

Yes, yes, I know that is a generalization.

Quote:
I am confused though because during these times, even if it just feels like a booty call, he will do other things that seem like he likes me MORE than just a piece of ***. Like not too long ago we watched a movie and cuddled. We ended up hooking up the next day, but not that night. He would kiss my forehead, my back, and just hold me close when I was sleeping. This is really just one example. The most recent one. And I have been slowly developing feelings and I think I would like to try going out sometime.

He always slept in my bed and never just left and we always cuddle. We also talked about everything, from our jobs to school, our family, pets, pretty much everything.

But it seems like the only time we have hung out are late nights... He is sending me mixed signals because I would expect a casual sex buddy to not be as intimate as it is.
You have to remember that all of this stuff benefits HIM as well. He gets lonely too, so cuddling, talking, etc. feels good to him. That doesn't mean he's falling in love with you or that he wants more with you.

Or maybe it does. Only one person knows, so you are going to have to talk to him. Just ask him if he feels more for you than just sexual interest, and be prepared for an answer you don't like. But you gotta take the risk to get the possible reward.
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