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From purely a friend, to much more. What to do???


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I have known this guy for about 5 years now. For all those years we were never close friends but all hung out in the same group. I was dating his friend and he had a long time girlfriend. About a year ago we began talking online as friends. We get along great, and are very similar in a lot of ways. Unfortunately, about 6 months ago both of our relationships ended. We began talking online much more and gave each other exactly what we needed in a hard time. We listened and gave good advice and just leaned on one another. We then started hanging out alone, which was awesome. Since neither of us had plans on Valentines day we decided to just go out as friends and have some fun. I think we both ended up having more fun than we could have ever thought. That was the first time we kissed. It was unbelievable for both of us....which kinda complicated things. Neither one of us had kissed another for about 4.5 years since we were both in long-term relationships prior. At that point he then felt he should go to my ex and ask if it was ok for us to be more than friends. He said it was cool. We started hanging out a lot after that but then we sorta backed off a little about a month later. Feelings started getting in the way, more than we felt should since we both just ended something.

 

Did I mention that he is roomates with my ex?? That is precisely the reason this guy asked permission first. He didn't want to ruin their friendship or living situation. So that is another reason why we backed off a little. Its kinda awkward when they live together.

 

We still spend time together though, and are still more than friends. There is no doubt in my mind that I feel we both like each other. I think secretly we both could see something happening. It would just be hard to persue a relationship with the current living arrangement.

 

I know most people would say then if you can't persue it what are you doing then? I guess it isn't that easy. This guy is really, really awesome. How can something that seems so wrong feel so incredibly right??

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Why does it 'seem so wrong'? The ex is fine with it. Both of you are interested. Other than an old song title, what's the point of this 'seems so wrong' business? And what is your living arrangement? Can he not spend time at your place?

 

I don't really get the problem. If it's awkward for you to call when the ex is home, suggest the new bf get his own phone line or cel phone.

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I agree with Moimeme, If yall are so great together I say to hell with it....the ex is an ex for a reason right? Plus it's already been "approved" by the ex so there shouldn't be any problems from him....Do you still have serious feelings for your ex cause that's all I can see just by reading what you wrote would be the problem. I mean there isn't that many chances that you find someone that you totally get along with and are attracted to so I say when you find someone like that you've got to do your best to stay with them.....

 

Steven

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I think one of the problems is that deep down inside both this guy and I know that my ex isn't ok with it. I think we both know that he just said he was... when in reality that isn't the case. So is it just horrible for us to pretend that he is ok with it, since after all that is what he told us??

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