I told my crush that i like her.But she wants to be just friends.

[whoami14]

So my crush asked me if i like her and i said yes.She said that she does't want to date anyone and insists on being friends.We know each other quite well and are really good friends.

Should i remain friends with her ? Its seems very hard..and i don't want to make anything awkward.Is going our separate ways the best thing ?

[soccerrprp]

So my crush asked me if i like her and i said yes.She said that she does't want to date anyone and insists on being friends.We know each other quite well and are really good friends.

Should i remain friends with her ? Its seems very hard..and i don't want to make anything awkward.Is going our separate ways the best thing ?

 

I just don't understand people and the over use of the word "friend."

 

Are you 14 years old?

 

This is what I see. You told your very close friend that you had a crush on her and she rejected you or told you that she doesn't want to date anyone right now. This could be code for "I don't want to date YOU."

 

Anyway, did you think about the consequences of telling her? Did you think about how you'd feel, react if she rejected you? It really doesn't sound like it.

 

Now here's the part about over-use or lack of understanding of the word "friend." I think it interesting that you say that you two know each other quite well and are very good friends. Well, how "good" of friends could you be that now that she doesn't see you romantically, you're ready to bail on her?

 

So much for friendship. I understand that things may now be uncomfortable, but you need to decide whether you can still be friends after this. Whether she is still comfortable being friends. In the end, it may not be your choice, but if you're feeling too weird about it, leave.

[whoami14]

Well i am 18.And no i didn't propose to her.She asked me out of the blue while we were talking about how our mutual friend broke up with her boyfriend.The fact that i am asking whether we should be friends is because i have been through this once.(I had crush on one of my friends..she got to know about it and stopped talking.)

I don't want to go through all of this again.

[soccerrprp]

Well i am 18.And no i didn't propose to her.She asked me out of the blue while we were talking about how our mutual friend broke up with her boyfriend.The fact that i am asking whether we should be friends is because i have been through this once.(I had crush on one of my friends..she got to know about it and stopped talking.)

I don't want to go through all of this again.

 

Again, it may not be in your hands. Now that she knows, she may become more distant. But, really, you need to talk to her about this and find out if your "friendship" is okay. You'll see soon enough if things change whether it will work out. One thing for certain, it can't be like the way it was before. Too late for that.

[ses]

How important is her friendship to you? Can you forgo years of good memories due to this one incident of feeling uncomfortable? Not everyone is going to like you. Sure, it's unfair, but that's a part of life. The hardest part of disclosing one's feelings is the risk of not having it reciprocated. A lot of friendships are never really the same after the talk but that's the risk.

 

I've been rejected on numerous occasions, and it hurts. I remember spending time with a guy in an effort to change his mind. Not only did it backfire on me but I became more emotionally invested in the long-run. Now I just try to make the move if I feel he's already attracted.

 

Yes, it's uncomfortable and can make things awkward for both individuals. I rejected someone recently and it stung when he just ended contact with me. I guess his pride was hurt but I still wanted to remain friends.

 

If you sincerely find it hard to be around her I'd suggest that you give yourself time to heal and create some distance. Find other activities and distract yourself. There are plenty of girls out there!

[Calvin's wagon]

Hi.

 

I hope the ladies here will shed some light on possible reasons for her behaviour, but for me it's odd that she just asked you out of the blue if you liked her, especially since she apparently knew she didn't want to date you/anyone.

 

Have you, prior to this, been giving her a lot of signs that you liked her? I mean such signs that she couldn't keep ignoring them?

 

Also, have you asked her why did she ask you? And did you ask her whether she means that she doesn't find you attractive (potential boyfriend) or that she does like you, but just doesn't want to date you or anyone else?

[TigerCub]

Hi.

 

I hope the ladies here will shed some light on possible reasons for her behaviour, but for me it's odd that she just asked you out of the blue if you liked her, especially since she apparently knew she didn't want to date you/anyone.

 

Have you, prior to this, been giving her a lot of signs that you liked her? I mean such signs that she couldn't keep ignoring them?

 

Also, have you asked her why did she ask you? And did you ask her whether she means that she doesn't find you attractive (potential boyfriend) or that she does like you, but just doesn't want to date you or anyone else?

 

That's totally what I was thinking.

 

How weird is that?

"hmmm, Do you like me?'

"Yeah"

"Well I don't like you"

 

Seems like a really weird thing to do. Rejecting people is such an awkward conversation/experience so it really doesn't make sense that she would initiate the situation where she would have to do that.

 

I'm not sure what hints OP was dropping..but yeah pretty weird.

 

OP, if she's you're friend, I guess all you can do is just stay "friends" if you want, but maybe distance yourself a little too.

If you see that she's distancing as well, I guess you'll just have to respect that.

 

Sorry.

[ses]

Well i am 18.And no i didn't propose to her.She asked me out of the blue while we were talking about how our mutual friend broke up with her boyfriend.The fact that i am asking whether we should be friends is because i have been through this once.(I had crush on one of my friends..she got to know about it and stopped talking.)

I don't want to go through all of this again.

 

I'm not sure why she asked that question either. You may have been giving off signals that she interpreted as romantic gestures. I don't think I've ever asked a guy directly without already feeling an attraction; it's done to primarily confirm his feelings as well as my own.

 

I know it's hard to endure rejection but you'll survive and be fine. It may seem impossible now but now it's time to heal and move on. Heartbreak may be tough but don't be so down. Everyone experiences rejection in life. You just have to be persistent and not give up!

[whoami14]

We both haf flirt with each other.Moreover our mutual friend (the one i previously told about) had asked her to go on date with me.

[whoami14]

That's totally what I was thinking.

 

How weird is that?

"hmmm, Do you like me?'

"Yeah"

"Well I don't like you"

 

Seems like a really weird thing to do. Rejecting people is such an awkward conversation/experience so it really doesn't make sense that she would initiate the situation where she would have to do that.

 

I'm not sure what hints OP was dropping..but yeah pretty weird.

 

OP, if she's you're friend, I guess all you can do is just stay "friends" if you want, but maybe distance yourself a little too.

If you see that she's distancing as well, I guess you'll just have to respect that.

 

Sorry.

 

As i said-we would flirt every now and then.Our mutual friend had asked her to go on a date with me.So when that mutual friend her self broke up with her boy friend she told me about how bad break up is..etc(never been in a relationship).I said it was okay but why she didn't want to,so she said she "didn't want to part and stuff."

[ses]

We both haf flirt with each other.Moreover our mutual friend (the one i previously told about) had asked her to go on date with me.

 

Flirting doesn't necessarily indicate interest. It can be an obvious sign, but it can just be a confidence booster too. Take it easy. If she's not interested the only thing to do now is move on and find someone who not only steals your heart but totally digs you!

Edited April 14, 2013 by ses

[TigerCub]

As i said-we would flirt every now and then.Our mutual friend had asked her to go on a date with me.So when that mutual friend her self broke up with her boy friend she told me about how bad break up is..etc(never been in a relationship).I said it was okay but why she didn't want to,so she said she "didn't want to part and stuff."

 

Thanks for sort of explaining.

what does that part in bold mean?

 

Did you tell the mutual friend to ask out the girl you like for you?

 

Either way...sorry it turned out that way.

[SuperGeek]

Start dating other girls then man. She gave you her answer and it's a NO.

 

Pretty damn cut and dry if you ask me.

[grkBoy]

So my crush asked me if i like her and i said yes.She said that she does't want to date anyone and insists on being friends.We know each other quite well and are really good friends.

Should i remain friends with her ? Its seems very hard..and i don't want to make anything awkward.Is going our separate ways the best thing ?

 

Be friends ONLY if you can 100% let go of the idea of ever being her boyfriend. That means you accept that you will never get a shot with her.

 

If you can't accept that, then politely cut ties and tell her the truth.

 

If you can, then be her friend and move on. Look for someone else who might just want to date you.

[Calvin's wagon]

Hi.

 

Did you ask her why she asked you so suddenly? Could you ask her now, to clarify what she meant & what were her motives? To give her a chance to tell you if she doesn't like or is just not willing to be in a relationship?

 

"She didn't want to part"? She didn't want to party? Or she didn't want to part ways in case of a break-up?

 

 

But all in all, I guess it doesn't matter. You like her as something more than a friend. If she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and will not change her mind after you talk to her and try to reassure her (regarding any fears she has), I would in your shoes tell her thank you for everything, but explain to her that it will hurt you to be just friends with her.

 

Because as long as you'll be in touch with her, it will be harder, in my opinion, to get over her as a romantic interest, and it will make you suffer.

 

Also, there's less chance you'll actually find someone you will like and who will like you back, because instead of being open to meeting new girls, partying, going to singles' events etc., you will be spending a lot of time with the girl and you will not be paying as much attention to other girls, your brain will be in the mindset of "i like just this girl". and other girls will perhaps think you are with her and will not approach you/give you signs that they like you.

 

I've been in your shoes. For me, it's better to present them with a clear choice - either you give yourselves as a couple a chance, or you go on to find the love you want and deserve, instead of suffering. If she's scared of sth and that's why she doesn't want to try, try to work through it. If not, move one. Life is too short. Give her a clear choice, explain her things, then go NC.

 

But perhaps you're different and perhaps waiting will pay off.

 

Best wishes, hope to hear from you soon!

[whoami14]

Thanks for sort of explaining.

what does that part in bold mean?

 

Did you tell the mutual friend to ask out the girl you like for you?

 

Either way...sorry it turned out that way.

 

That is what i didn't understand..maybe se meant if we broke we wont talk and thus part our ways (saying so because when my mutual friend said her to go out with me..she said to her that she was afraid we might break up and never talk again)

[whoami14]

Hi.

 

Did you ask her why she asked you so suddenly? Could you ask her now, to clarify what she meant & what were her motives? To give her a chance to tell you if she doesn't like or is just not willing to be in a relationship?

 

"She didn't want to part"? She didn't want to party? Or she didn't want to part ways in case of a break-up?

 

 

But all in all, I guess it doesn't matter. You like her as something more than a friend. If she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you and will not change her mind after you talk to her and try to reassure her (regarding any fears she has), I would in your shoes tell her thank you for everything, but explain to her that it will hurt you to be just friends with her.

 

Because as long as you'll be in touch with her, it will be harder, in my opinion, to get over her as a romantic interest, and it will make you suffer.

 

Also, there's less chance you'll actually find someone you will like and who will like you back, because instead of being open to meeting new girls, partying, going to singles' events etc., you will be spending a lot of time with the girl and you will not be paying as much attention to other girls, your brain will be in the mindset of "i like just this girl". and other girls will perhaps think you are with her and will not approach you/give you signs that they like you.

 

I've been in your shoes. For me, it's better to present them with a clear choice - either you give yourselves as a couple a chance, or you go on to find the love you want and deserve, instead of suffering. If she's scared of sth and that's why she doesn't want to try, try to work through it. If not, move one. Life is too short. Give her a clear choice, explain her things, then go NC.

 

But perhaps you're different and perhaps waiting will pay off.

 

Best wishes, hope to hear from you soon!

 

She kind of knew that i liked her and thus when we were talking about our mutual friends break up, she told me that our friend had asked her to go out with me (and no .i didn't ask my friend to do so.) then she asked whether i liked her.

By "part and stuff" she meant going our separate ways and to never talk again.its has been quite few days but she has been actively talking to me (texting and calling) this is confusing me even more.

[Shaun-Dro]

So my crush asked me if i like her and i said yes.She said that she does't want to date anyone and insists on being friends.We know each other quite well and are really good friends.

Should i remain friends with her ? Its seems very hard..and i don't want to make anything awkward.Is going our separate ways the best thing ?

 

Why would your so-called crush ask you if you like her? She's messing with you and now she's got the upper hand in the game. *Sighs*

[whoami14]

Why would your so-called crush ask you if you like her? She's messing with you and now she's got the upper hand in the game. *Sighs*

 

Upper hand as in ?

[whoami14]

I have decided.I am cutting ties with all my friends.I just got to know my best friend who knew everything asked her out for a party...and she agreed.

[soccerrprp]

I have decided.I am cutting ties with all my friends.I just got to know my best friend who knew everything asked her out for a party...and she agreed.

 

That sucks, man. Sorry to hear that.

 

Question. Are you angry with your best friend or her? Both? What did your best friend do that was bad? He asked out a girl that was available and who had rejected you. You may have been pursuing her, but she was not reciprocating. I know this feels like you've been betrayed, but are you willing to end your friendship with your "best" friend over this?

 

And btw, I know what you are feeling. I went through this very same thing years ago. I moved on and found someone else, remained friends and ironically, also became friends with the girl that dumped me for my bud.

 

I don't know if you want to end your friendship with your buddy for this. Provided that you two are that close. You don't have to hang around him when he's with "her." And what happens when he dumps her or she dumps him? Oh, she's going to a party with him. Not dating (yet).

 

I think you should think it through and be the bigger man here. See the bigger picture and really move on from this girl.

[whoami14]

That sucks, man. Sorry to hear that.

 

Question. Are you angry with your best friend or her? Both? What did your best friend do that was bad? He asked out a girl that was available and who had rejected you. You may have been pursuing her, but she was not reciprocating. I know this feels like you've been betrayed, but are you willing to end your friendship with your "best" friend over this?

 

And btw, I know what you are feeling. I went through this very same thing years ago. I moved on and found someone else, remained friends and ironically, also became friends with the girl that dumped me for my bud.

 

I don't know if you want to end your friendship with your buddy for this. Provided that you two are that close. You don't have to hang around him when he's with "her." And what happens when he dumps her or she dumps him? Oh, she's going to a party with him. Not dating (yet).

 

I think you should think it through and be the bigger man here. See the bigger picture and really move on from this girl.

 

I don't think i can be friends with either of them.To answer your question if i am angry or not..i am not as angry at them as i am at myself.At my failures.I guess in the end i didn't deserve either of them.

[Calvin's wagon]

Hi!

 

First of all, are they really going to a party as in a "date"?

 

Secondly, why do you think YOU don't deserve THEM? That it's somehow because of your failures?

 

I'd rather think it's the other way around. If your "best" friend decided to ask her out, knowing you like her etc., without at least talking to you about it beforehand, letting you know etc. (not asking your permission, but at least trying to explain and give you a heads up etc.), then in my book he's not such a good friend. Brocode etc.

 

And if she's decided to give him a chance, after talking about not being ready for a relationship, afraid of losing you etc., then deciding to see a potential relationship with your best friend, then you're better off without her in your life. "I'm not ready to date, I don't want to lose you in case we start dating, but hey, you know what, I'm gonna start dating your best friend".

[whoami14]

Hi!

 

First of all, are they really going to a party as in a "date"?

 

Secondly, why do you think YOU don't deserve THEM? That it's somehow because of your failures?

 

I'd rather think it's the other way around. If your "best" friend decided to ask her out, knowing you like her etc., without at least talking to you about it beforehand, letting you know etc. (not asking your permission, but at least trying to explain and give you a heads up etc.), then in my book he's not such a good friend. Brocode etc.

 

And if she's decided to give him a chance, after talking about not being ready for a relationship, afraid of losing you etc., then deciding to see a potential relationship with your best friend, then you're better off without her in your life. "I'm not ready to date, I don't want to lose you in case we start dating, but hey, you know what, I'm gonna start dating your best friend".

 

I don't know if they are going to the party as a date.I wouldn't have been angry at my best friend only if he had told me about it.The fact that she atleast agreed to go out with him kills me.Maybe she was out of my league.Someone too good for me.

[imtooconfused]

"I'm not ready to date' date=' I don't want to lose you in case we start dating, but hey, you know what, I'm gonna start dating your best friend".[/quote']

 

Calvin's wagon, you described the situation well. If that's what was going on, neither one of these individuals are your friend, whoami14. It's not a situation where they are too good for you. You, quite honestly are too good for them and they don't deserve your time and attention. Stop wasting your time trying to win her favor and instead get out there and find someone who will respect you for the likeable person that you are.