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should I cancel with guy #2?


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Hello all!

 

So I have a problem that is actually not too bad. I have just met a man that I am crazy about. In fact, I am in love with him. We have lots in common (in fact our life history is about the same!). We have great sex. I think about his smile constantly. His texts send me through the roof.

 

However, he does not want to commit. He told me this in a text, which is a stupid way to communicate. He then told me that he "does not have too many other partners". So, thinking that he really just wants to have an NSA-sex relationship, I made the decision to accept that he has other women and keep him in my life.

 

I then made plans with another guy for this weekend, and the understanding is we are going to hook up. I did this to get my mind off of guy #1 that I'm in love with. That worked and I felt a lot better.

 

Then, last night I spoke with guy #1, in person and he said he was just kidding about several partners. I am his only partner!! That blew me away! He still does not want to commit though. And when I asked how he felt if I had several partners, he said "that's fine".

 

So ok, now I am wondering if I should just cancel with guy #2? I really only want to be with #1. He's the best thing that has happened to me in years, maybe ever. I want to be with him every day. I trust him too. I guess the only reason I am indecisive is because he said "go ahead and be with other men" and because #2 is a good friend and I hate to go back on my plans, and still, if #1 doesn't want to commit, I probably should try not to be toooo serious and devoted.

 

Thanks for reading my long story!!! Any comments are appreciated!

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WhatYouWantToHear

I see heartbreak in your future. I'm all for NSA relationships, but this is only one way NSA. You've developed strings and he hasn't. You're probably going to get hurt.

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maybe so, but I am having fun for now so I'm not gonna worry about it :-). But the main question is, should I just go ahead and hook up with two people or focus on this one guy?

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If a guy has any feelings for you at all or is even considering the possibility of ever having them, he isn't going to tell you that it's okay for you to be with other guys. If that's okay with you--you don't mind being nothing more than a temporary sex toy-- then it's your choice. However, Guy #2 may not feel the same way you do. If not, cut him loose or at least tell him the truth. He deserves to know that he is being used as nothing but a fallback so he can make his own choice.

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Guy #1 doesn't want a commitment. Listen to what he's telling you no matter how much his actions make you think or feel otherwise. You'll only be heartbroken if you continue with him.

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