Why can't she have her cake and eat it too?

[Trying something new]

So to put this in context, I'm a married bi-curious woman in an open marriage.

 

A few weeks ago was the usual office Xmas party. The usual awkward conversations with people you don't know that well, balanced out by drinking and dancing with the dozen or so people that are closer than family.

Cut to much later in the evening and the crowd has thinned out to only 4 of us, and we've headed to a bar. What started as a snog with a woman I get along really well with at work turned into getting hot and heavy at the bar, in the cab, and ultimately the best marathon sex session either of us have ever had back at her place. (with permission from hubby, I should add)

We had a quick debrief at the time (both of us more shocked than anything that a. It happened, b. it was mind blowing and c. That we both wanted to do it again, despite knowing that she's straight and I'm married)

 

Cut forward a few days to Thursday and we were sexting like fiends, both of us keen to do it again. We planned to catch up after Friday drinks, she'd give me a lift home, and all was good (or so I thought).Friday night drinks roll around, and I rock up lateish to the pub because work in my section was a madhouse. I start catching up on drinking, and talking to people. At first I thought I was getting the cold shoulder because there were tonnes of colleagues around (and neither of us want this to affect us professionally). But on the ride home (that I was super-keen for, and she seemed less than enthusiastic about) I found out that its because she's still really "confused by" someone else from work that she had a brief fling with. I can see that she's madly in love with him, but he's not interested in a relationship.

 

I told her that she's. single woman who's been very clear about her intentions and orientation, and that I have no intention of being awkward or jealous.

 

What I don't understand though is why she won't have we cake and eat it too...I don't want any kind of commitment from her, I just want us to have the best sex of our lives if/when it's mutually convenient. I don't see why she can't be FWB with me and pursue a man/men for relationships. Thoughts? Is it worth pursuing? I don't want to push her, but this is new territory for both of us, and I don't want to give up the best sex of my life if I can help it