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I confessed my love to him, and haven't from him since...


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Hello everyone!

 

I've got a difficult situation on my hands, and I'd really like some input from the public. So, here we go:

 

I'm a college freshman, so things have been pretty difficult as is with the new transition from high school to university (I've just finished my first semester). Though loads of things have stressed me out this semester, the number one stressor that has been pressing on me more than anything is my love for my best guy friend.

 

A little about our "friendship": I met him at a school get-together in June at a new student orientation, and we realised that we were from the same town, only separated by different schools through redistricting. As such, we instantly clicked and became fast friends. Afterwards, we slightly lost touch between the entire month of July and mid-August.

 

The day before school started, we finally got together and rekindled our friendship. Since then, we got to know each other more and more, thus becoming closer and closer up to the point of becoming best friends. We trusted each other with so many personal details about ourselves that we normally wouldn't tell any of our other friends, and we generally enjoyed each other's company, too.

 

However, I began to notice some things about his behaviour that kind of told me there was more than just a simple friendship at play here. So one day I asked him what were his thoughts about me being his girlfriend. He told me that while he did like me, he wasn't ready for relationship. He also asked me if I wanted him to be his boyfriend, and I responded saying yes, but I was willing to wait.

 

Afterwards, I regretted saying that the minute I said it, because I felt as if I came across as desperate (especially since I've never had a boyfriend before, and keep in mind he's never had a girlfriend before). So fast forward to a few weeks later, I sat him down to basically apologise for coming across as desperate and putting pressure on him to be my mate. Besides, I didn't have that much interest in him yet. It went pretty well, and he hugged me afterwards for having a good discussion(I don't know if there's any significance in that, but still).

 

Fast forward to the week before the final exams are given, I had realised that for over a month, I fell in love with him. When Cupid first shot me in the a**, I tried to keep it inside because I felt it was too soon to say so for fear of ruining our already established friendship. But by the time the week before the finals came around, though I felt that it might put more stress on both of us (and I realise this now most especially), I couldn't hold it back any longer. The time just felt right for me, though I realised this was a "game-changer" in any relationship. Plus, I wanted to get it out of the way so that he could carry on with his life and think about it, too.

 

So I texted him asking if I could meet up with him in the evening to tell him something important. After some small talk here and there and eating together, I sat him down in a quiet corner close to the entrance of our dorm. Since there were still some people aside, I asked him for a piece of paper and a writing utensil, and I used those to write the following:

 

Roses are red

Violets are blue

You better watch out

'Cuz I'm in love with you:love:

 

I gave him the note, he read it, and he had a huge look of surprise on his face. I gave him a couple moments to let it sink in, and he eventually responded by asking me how sure I was about it. I said I was very sure since I let it develop for a little while before telling him. He went on to say that we're still young, there are plenty of guys that I'll meet that are better than him, and even asked me how many guy friends I have (of which I have several). :confused:

At the end, we shook hands on an agreement to still be able to maintain something of a friendship. Soon after, we parted for the evening since I knew he had a sh*tload of work to do anyhow. We haven't spoken since then. Specifically, he has not spoken to me, or even physically seen me, since that time, and I have made all efforts not to contact him by avoiding him at all costs so that he can have as much time to think about, though I miss him tremendously.

 

As a sidenote, going back to his behaviour that I've noticed, let me give a short enough list to show you all what I've seen lately before this "incident":

 

  • He called/texted me often
  • He had cute pet names for me
  • He would always bring up small details in conversations that sometimes even I wouldn't remember
  • He would usually remember almost every detail of a story I told him
  • He always found ways to spend time with me
  • He has told me enough about his family so much so that I know who's who (though I've never actually met them)
  • He asks me out every so often
  • One time, I was the first person he texted in the morning because he wanted to have breakfast with me
  • He has looked me straight in the eye, touched me in the hand, and told me what his definition of love during a deep convo
  • Even asked me how many kids I would want, if I would cook for him, if I would defend him, etc.
  • He still has some of my stuff laying around in his room.
  • He finds small ways to actually say "I love you" (ex: one time, I needed to look up lyrics for Whitney Houston's song "I Will Always Love You", and he broke out into song, singing it to me (and that was the 2nd out of 3 times that he has sung to me)
  • He has stared at me many times, and sometimes he would look away if I caught him, sometimes he would keep on staring long enough for me to look away, too.

 

So.....after all this, have I scared him off with this confession, or does he just need more time to think about it, or what? See, my main goal of the confession was simply to get it off of my chest regardless of whether or not he was ready, so I was trying as hard as I could to not imply any force of commitment on him.

 

By the way, I'm so, so, so sorry if this is long as hell, but dude- I got it bad, and I need help! All help is appreciated from anyone! :D

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Girl, I've been in this exact same situation. Except in my case, the guy is actually unavailable. Honestly, there's nothing u can do about it 4 now. If he actually does like u, he doesn't like u enough to do anything about it. Honestly, telling him u love him was even unnecessary. U telling him u wanted him to be your bf was more than enough to get him off his behind. Let it be. He doesn't know what he wants.

 

A lot of ppl like eachother 4 months and even years b4 something finally happens. I wldn't advise u to sit around waiting 4 him though. As hard as it will be, u'll have to move on and find someone else to give your heart to. If u guys are meant 2 be, nothing will stop it from happening but if not, it's ok. I promise u, there'll be other guys.

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Well, that's something I've now been trying to do, and I've done so by removing anything and everything that reminds me of him.

 

But I haven't deleted his number from my phone, since we did agree to be friends.

 

I'm wondering if I should even keep it anymore...:(

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Do whatever u feel will help u in moving on. If contact with him will hurt and make it more difficult, minimize contact. If that still doesn't help, cut contact completely.

 

If u make yourself your number 1 priority right now, you'll automatically transfer focus from him to YOU. Focus more on your life and your own personal development and slowly but surely you'll get over him.

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