Daffydil Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Hi everyone, I originally posted this in the platonic forum, but unfortunately got no response so was hoping that possibly I could get a bit of advice here? This day a fortnight ago, myself and a very old friend of mine of about 20 years were out for an evening and went for a few drinks. We ended up kissing at the end of the evening, just once, but intimately, rather than a peck on the lips if that makes sense? Neither of us were so drunk that we didn't know what we were doing, and I definitely liked it.Now neither of us are teenagers, both in our late 30's, and hardly shy but since then , neither of us has mentioned it to the other, and although we've not met in person, (I did try to get them to meet twice over the two weeks but work/life interfered) we've emailed back n fro as normal, just chat not really flirty or anything. My question is, from this would it seem that they're just not into it and avoiding potential hurt/embaressment by not saying anything? I'm not mentioning it, because I have no idea what to say, and also, I'm scared of losing them as a friend, if it's one sided (ie I'm keen, they're not...), but I am confused about it and afraid i'd be jibbing myself if I didn't say something and lost out on a good thing... Any help/advice appreciated, thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
pcplod Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Who knows Daffydil, who knows? That is the predicament, the dilemma. What if, on the other hand, he/she is sitting right now in front of a computer keyboard, contemplating typing a post for a discussion board like this? What if he/she has already done so? Sometimes we just feel so alone and there is nothing we can do to address it other than to play or fold. You have to decide whether YOU are going to play or fold. No-one else can make that decision for you. As a practical aside, I assume from the gist of your story that you have not met up with said friend since. Maybe part of the answer is to meet up again and 'smell' the nature of things between you. It can be intoxicating stuff. Phone calls, text messages, emails just aren't sophisticated or complete enough as communication tools to deal with this. You need body language, physical contact, eye contact, to help you with all of this. Decide nothing, assume nothing until that happens. And in the end you need actual words so there is no 'mis-translation' between you. After all, apart from knowing that you enjoyed it, do you have any idea at this point where you might want it to go or would you prefer to take things one step at a time? For example, do you see romance in it, a roll in the hay, or a relationship? Do you need to decide right now? What on earth might they be thinking right now? PS. I assume in saying all this that there are not 'other considerations' that might complicate things? Pass or twist? Link to post Share on other sites
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 If you are good friends, then I think you should definitely mention it. There will always be awkwardness between you if you don't. You don't have to flat out say you're more keen than he/she, but at least break the ice as a start. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Daffydil Posted November 6, 2012 Author Share Posted November 6, 2012 Thank you both for your replies I think you both may be right, I do need to meet up with them and 'sniff' out the situation as it were, and also it needs to be said, in person, rather than via mail or text. It'll be awhile though at this stage, we're both ridiculously busy with work/life usually, and perhaps in itself, the inability to make the time to meet up speaks volumes. :/ It's strange though, I'm so excited about it all two weeks on, despite me trying not to be, but I'm also terrified of losing my friend if it all goes badly or if the feelings aren't reciprocated or just oh so many options... but if it went well, that's another thing all together. Link to post Share on other sites
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