Brock05 Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Hi all. Will try to keep this brief but really struggling at the moment. My girlfriend of only 4 month dumped me as she says she has so much going on in her life she was freaking out. I worked with her 4 two years before we hooked up straight after her marriage broke up(I know dumb idea) anyway for the 4 months we have gone away for wonderful weekends and laughed so much. She told me she loved me and everything. Then bang she dumps me. I'm 40 years old and I have been in long term relationship but never Felt this crap before. I did the usual desperate thing of trying to get back with her and I tried the NC thing which only lasted today's and I weakly contacted her. Now I got an email fwd to me today from a girl from work and my ex is telling her how our last weekend was terrible and how she had been thinking of breaking up with me b4 that weekend. This is the same weekend where she said she had one of the best nights of her life and she loved me. Why would someone be that mean or even discuss a private relationship. ??. So anyone out there got any thoughts or hints to get me over her. Luckily she left work so I don't have to see her everyday. Just hurts. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 (edited) Hi all. Will try to keep this brief but really struggling at the moment. My girlfriend of only 4 month dumped me as she says she has so much going on in her life she was freaking out. I worked with her 4 two years before we hooked up straight after her marriage broke up(I know dumb idea) anyway for the 4 months we have gone away for wonderful weekends and laughed so much. She told me she loved me and everything. Then bang she dumps me. I'm 40 years old and I have been in long term relationship but never Felt this crap before. I did the usual desperate thing of trying to get back with her and I tried the NC thing which only lasted today's and I weakly contacted her. Now I got an email fwd to me today from a girl from work and my ex is telling her how our last weekend was terrible and how she had been thinking of breaking up with me b4 that weekend. This is the same weekend where she said she had one of the best nights of her life and she loved me. Why would someone be that mean or even discuss a private relationship. ??. So anyone out there got any thoughts or hints to get me over her. Luckily she left work so I don't have to see her everyday. Just hurts. I dotn know why i cant tell you why she would tell you one thing and say something else to another......if she was unwell maybe....thats no excuse though....i feel for you......it was mean and not justifiable for her to do that......i made mistakes when i tried to date too close too a break up and i learnt my lesson my family and i were reeling from teh break up my fdaughters still have residual effects....depression one has ptsd ...and i was not well either really......there was this one guy i remember was a good guy (i had a conscience still) but i let him go....and another guy i dated was a mistake alot of what he was about was a past lifestyle that should have remained in my past .....all were online.....so i did the right thing i stopped dating...after a few club outings where i was more or less picked up......i get approached in that situation and i made more mistakes....didnt go actual sex in any for me for my family to heal and for the guys who actually might be good guys i didnt touch them or hurt them with my indecision and unhealed heart..i stopped dating it wasnt along period of dating. i wasnt well ....i had feelings for my ex unresolved ones...not thinking clearly allowing myself to get used and keeping away from guys who might have been good for me.....that shows i shouldnt have dated at all..on one date i wished i was just there by myself ...not good for the guy...i told my mum at the time when i ended it i just wasnt ready and she could see i was unhappy ..the guys i was dating werent right for who i wanted to be..i don't intentionally hurt people even ones that truly suck i realise people sometimes suck for a reason......... i also relied on alcohol to get me through i hate drinking to tell the truth..and i was on heavy meds too...now after years i am ready to move on and be happy because i am actually the happiest i have been for over a decade maybe two...no meds no alcohol and i found my faith........so i my family still going through crap but thats life...good and bad.....i cant explain in any other way than to say when people force themselves to do something that goes against the grain its not rational or logical thought, add the unknown quantity and confusion of love and the possibility of getting hurt.....pretty volatile mix emotionally and mentally....you do and say things you wouldnt normally when you force yourself to do anything it should come from the haart....i am at that place.......scared but ready....fear is healthy....lol.....being unready is not healthy for anyone you or your ex.......... the nc thing is the only way to go to truly heal and when you are ready to try again your heart will nudge you saying hey you...im ready now.....lets try again......you ....so among the fear you can have hope....you need that hope to move forward......i am and have been spiritual this has helped me move forward to have the most positive attitude that someone like me can have.....take things slow for you, let your heart decide when you are ready do not let others tell you are ready you will know.....hugses.......best of luck in life and love and for sure....healing.....deb Edited October 24, 2012 by todreaminblue Link to post Share on other sites
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