hopelesslyunsure Posted October 23, 2012 Share Posted October 23, 2012 (edited) Long story short - have a crush on a guy friend I have known for a long time. I am not sure of his feelings even though I sometimes sense he has got feelings for me, and is attracted to me. We have flirted, he has kissed me on the neck a couple of times. I am in a committed relationship so I know it is just a crush and I don't want to end my relationship. He has now got a girlfriend, not sure how serious is te relationship. My feelings / crush for him hasn't gone away and I am trying. I know I shouldn't develop feelings for another guy. I do want to stop any contact / communication with him but not sure how to go about it. Having known him for more than 10 years, I admit it is hard to just ignore him and stop communication. I also don't want to lose a friend. So, what are my options ? Do nothing and pretend nothing is happening, and get on with life, and continue the friendship. Meet him and tell him about my crush - possibly embarrassing both of us, And losing his friendship. Email him ? Wait till I get over the crush and my feelings for him, and then tell him about it. Any advice please? Edited October 23, 2012 by hopelesslyunsure Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Don't tell him about your feelings. He may open up about his feelings and make things worse. Don't discuss about this crush with him in any way. Avoid him till these feelings fade. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopelesslyunsure Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Don't tell him about your feelings. He may open up about his feelings and make things worse. Don't discuss about this crush with him in any way. Avoid him till these feelings fade. I am tempted to just email him one last time and explain that I am opting for NC between us - I feel ths is the east I can do after a long friendship ! Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Long story short - have a crush on a guy friend I have known for a long time. I am not sure of his feelings even though I sometimes sense he has got feelings for me, and is attracted to me. We have flirted, he has kissed me on the neck a couple of times. I am in a committed relationship so I know it is just a crush and I don't want to end my relationship. He has now got a girlfriend, not sure how serious is te relationship. My feelings / crush for him hasn't gone away and I am trying. I know I shouldn't develop feelings for another guy. I do want to stop any contact / communication with him but not sure how to go about it. Having known him for more than 10 years, I admit it is hard to just ignore him and stop communication. I also don't want to lose a friend. So, what are my options ? Do nothing and pretend nothing is happening, and get on with life, and continue the friendship. Meet him and tell him about my crush - possibly embarrassing both of us, And losing his friendship. Email him ? Wait till I get over the crush and my feelings for him, and then tell him about it. Any advice please? avoid the guy who is kissing your neck if you are committed think of your boyfriend if you love him and the relationship you are in...what would your boyfriend do if he were standing next to you when this flirting is occurring......how would he feel? and do you honestly think it would happen at all on either side if your boyfriend was there standing beside you....on your behalf....i have some advice if you carry the thought of your partner around with you everywhere you go if he is in your heart situations like this become rare.........if they do happen they are unlikely to occur on your behalf on your side.......here i ssomething to say to turn you off a friendship with teh guy.....say You know i am commited and love my boyfriend he is a wonderful person.....you will get a reply......that reply might be does it matter or i dont care what your boyfriend thinks i am just having fun......so basically the conclusion you can draw from this is one he doesnt respect you two your boyfriend just got disrespected to a high order..... three he doesnt respect your relationship or recognise the importance it holds in your life now what do you say back.....i have had this happen i am brutal at this point.......not nasty just brutally honest......you need to be with yourself brutally honest with what you really want...and who is important to you......in a relationship i class this as committed.but then again i am old fashioned......maybe even out dated....but this is how i handle situations the easiest way i know how......it is so simple...to carry the thought of your guy with you in your heart so easy...when love is with me i hold it close....i am not a saint in my past or prescribe to the idea i am perfect.... i have made mistakes i suffer consequences.i have paid for them in more ways than one..i still make them(mistakes) and my last relationship failed due to an affair had by my ex..........i hope and wish you happiness in life and love.....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Leegh Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 Without knowing you, but reading your post, it sounds as if you are not madly in love with the guy you are committed to. Since you are not engaged or married to your boyfriend, you may want to make contact with the other guy. I've had regrets before of not doing enough to reestablish a relationship, and all I got out of it was a feeling of on-going sadness. With the holiday season upon us soon, you could e-mail your crush when it gets closer to Thanksgiving and say "Happy Thanksgiving" and a few other casual sentences, and see what he does. He may feel that you are not interested in him, and if he felt there was no hope with you, maybe that's why he started seeing someone else. Just my opinion. Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
kamani Posted October 24, 2012 Share Posted October 24, 2012 If you are really serious about your relationship and love your boyfriend, don't let the other guy know your feelings. He has a gf as well. If he admits his crush, you will be on the way to a dangerous emotional affair. If he replies you and say that it was just friendship and you've mistaken him, what would you feel? I'm sure you'd feel rejected. No good would happen telling him about your feelings. Being a friend of 10 years he's highly likely to know what you are upto. You'll end up ruining the friendship as well as the relationship. Just avoid him for a few months. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hopelesslyunsure Posted October 24, 2012 Author Share Posted October 24, 2012 Thanks for replies. We have been dancing around this whole thing for ten months. He was definitely feeling me out initially. I didn't respond because of my committed relationship. He then moved on and got a gf, contine to communicate with me. My feelings for him were gradual. I do love my bf and that is why I want to find a way out of this silly feelings for this this guy friend of 10 years. Maybe he is onto the fact that I do like him, so he is slowly detaching himself., with the hot and cold email responses.. Would have preferred him to have an adult conversation with me , clear the air and we both move on ! Link to post Share on other sites
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