roselove Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 I keep thinking about how dating seems to be a balancing act. But maybe this is the wrong way to think of it? if you play the game right it still doesn't always work. when I do everything "right" by the dating book things don't seem to work but when I do what ever I feel like doing it seems to go much better. I am a believer that If you want to sleep with someone on a first date or talk about your failed past relationship you should cause at the end of the day you should not compromise who you are to impress someone who should just like you for who you really are. I am still wondering why that guy I slep with on the frist date never called me. what do you think, hide self for the sake of a second date? Link to post Share on other sites
AnneMargaret Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 I keep thinking about how dating seems to be a balancing act. But maybe this is the wrong way to think of it? if you play the game right it still doesn't always work. when I do everything "right" by the dating book things don't seem to work but when I do what ever I feel like doing it seems to go much better. I am a believer that If you want to sleep with someone on a first date or talk about your failed past relationship you should cause at the end of the day you should not compromise who you are to impress someone who should just like you for who you really are. I am still wondering why that guy I slep with on the frist date never called me. what do you think, hide self for the sake of a second date? You say that when you "do whatever I feel like doing" it goes much better, but then you go on to say that the man you slept with on the first date never called you. So, no, it most certainly does not always go better when you act on whim and impulse and the heat of the moment. It is not a matter of "hiding" the "self" in the give and take of dating. It is about being your very best self so that you are and remain as attractive as you can be. One's "self" can be as full of ugly sides, flaws and foibles as it is charms and attractions and you want to minimize the former group and emphasize and always work on the latter. This increases your self esteem which in turn reinforces your value, your attractiveness to men. On this basis you can and should be selective and careful of how you act Sleeping on the first date is, in general, never a good idea. The reason is simple: you look easy and therefore of reduced value. No one respects what comes too easily. Yes, I know of cases where the man and woman slept together immediately and later the whole thing blossomed into marriage. That can happen when the two people are totally on the same page at the same time looking for the same thing at the same moment. However, given that these are rare cases, better to follow the excellent practice of hanging way way back and letting tension and desire--and value--build up before you sleep with a man. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 7, 2012 Share Posted October 7, 2012 I keep thinking about how dating seems to be a balancing act. But maybe this is the wrong way to think of it? if you play the game right it still doesn't always work. when I do everything "right" by the dating book things don't seem to work but when I do what ever I feel like doing it seems to go much better. I am a believer that If you want to sleep with someone on a first date or talk about your failed past relationship you should cause at the end of the day you should not compromise who you are to impress someone who should just like you for who you really are. I am still wondering why that guy I slep with on the frist date never called me. what do you think, hide self for the sake of a second date? whenever i have slept with someone on a date hasn't happened too often....i let them know i know what they want not to bother lying about it and that i dont expect them to call me so don't pretend they will call me they want sex and at that time i was a sure thing..not anymore..not for a very long time have i let another man touch me...i reclaimed the night first and then i reclaimed my heart saving it for someone who appreciates what i have...if you give sex to a guy on a first date or that's what they ask for that is all they want....usually.......there are a very few minority cases.......very rare it is otherwise......they dont want to get to know your heart they want to have your body if you give it give it with the understanding that it is not going to lead anywhere unless it is a future booty call.that is the most likely scenario...don't give your body away let them know your heartif it is a more lasting relationship you seek....i wish you hope and luck....deb Link to post Share on other sites
Daniel V. Ross Posted October 11, 2012 Share Posted October 11, 2012 In having a first date, you must be careful on everything that you said. Try to impress your date but not too much. Link to post Share on other sites
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