itsjason Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 hey good people, im jason and im new here. I have a problem/dilemma with a girl i like so i have known this girl for almost 5 years and this year we began to hang out more at school. during the past 4 years i have been a friend of her but we never really liked each other.. untill two years ago when i started to like like her. this year we talked alot and when im with other people from my school she always says that she doesn't see the point of a relationship etc. what do i do? i really like her and we have become really close friends... i dont want it to be destroyed by awkward moment but take the next step ... how?! please help , Jason Link to post Share on other sites
MilitantPacifist Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 hey good people, im jason and im new here. I have a problem/dilemma with a girl i like so i have known this girl for almost 5 years and this year we began to hang out more at school. during the past 4 years i have been a friend of her but we never really liked each other.. untill two years ago when i started to like like her. this year we talked alot and when im with other people from my school she always says that she doesn't see the point of a relationship etc. what do i do? i really like her and we have become really close friends... i dont want it to be destroyed by awkward moment but take the next step ... how?! please help , Jason So she's never dated? Or she's just never dated you? If she's just saying she doesn't see the point of a relationship because she hasn't had one, that's one thing. If she's saying it despite having already been in some, she's picked up on your attraction and is subtly rejecting you by making it clear she's not looking to date (you, specifically). I remember in high school I pined after this girl for a few months. We were good friends. Eventually though you just have to get on with your own thing. Date other girls who actually are interested in dating. In my experience it's very very improbable to convert a friendship with a girl into a romantic relationship. Of course dating some other girls wouldn't hurt, as if she has any feelings for you as well, this will make her realize it. So if you "want to go the next step but don't want to lose the friendship" - go see other people. You can stay her friend, and if she's interested, she'll tell you, because she won't like seeing you with those other people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsjason Posted October 3, 2012 Author Share Posted October 3, 2012 she dated 1 guy before which she doesn't see as a relationship at all and i never had anything with her before.... i think what you said is probably the right way to so i will lay back a little and do my own thing. but if i do that she will most likely not care and i might lose her instead of impressing her.. im really confused now :L Link to post Share on other sites
MilitantPacifist Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 she dated 1 guy before which she doesn't see as a relationship at all and i never had anything with her before.... i think what you said is probably the right way to so i will lay back a little and do my own thing. but if i do that she will most likely not care and i might lose her instead of impressing her.. im really confused now :L Look, don't stress so much. If she's really your friend, she'll support you. In fact, you'll have a great opportunity to hone your game because you've got a female friend who can point out your mistakes and sometimes even prevent you from making a total jackass of yourself with your girlfriends. If she's actually into you, she'll tell you because she won't want to lose the potential relationship with you. FYI as soon as she tells you she has feelings, if that's the way it goes, ask her out. If you wait, you may easily become "friend-zoned" where she strings you along as a potential romantic partner, but treats you as just a friend. Don't put up with that bull****. Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsjason Posted October 3, 2012 Author Share Posted October 3, 2012 so i need to just give her some space and ''impress'' her until i know if she really has feelings for me? sorry for my low comprehension... im just 15 and really stressed out D: Link to post Share on other sites
MilitantPacifist Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 so i need to just give her some space and ''impress'' her until i know if she really has feelings for me? sorry for my low comprehension... im just 15 and really stressed out D: It's cool man, I remember 15. A mass of confusing new emotions which I'm lucky enough not to have to deal with anymore lol. Yeah, give her space. Keep her as a friend.. don't ignore her per se. Still be a good friend to her. But direct your romantic feelings elsewhere. She's not an option at this point. You're not dating other girls to "impress" her btw. You're dating other girls because you need a romantic relationship, rather than the platonic, friendly one you have with this girl right now. IF (big if) she really has feelings for you, this might just shock her into realizing she doesn't have forever with you. If she wants you, she has to act. If she doesn't, no harm done either. You're still just friends. And you get to open a whole new world (dating), which I guarantee can be nothing but beneficial for you in the long run. The last thing you want is to spend years pining for this girl, and you find yourself in college with no idea how to approach or win over women because you didn't figure out how in high school. Effectively dating is a learning process. If you ignore it, you'll be "behind a few grades" later on, so to speak. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author itsjason Posted October 3, 2012 Author Share Posted October 3, 2012 I will try to do what you advised me and hopefully it will work out great ... if not it would not be that big of a deal, its just another chapter of my life. thank you for your time and helping me 2 Link to post Share on other sites
somedude81 Posted October 3, 2012 Share Posted October 3, 2012 I was going to give my experiences on how it's just a waste of your time to try and get a girl to date you when she's not interested in a relationship and then I saw. so i need to just give her some space and ''impress'' her until i know if she really has feelings for me? sorry for my low comprehension... im just 15 and really stressed out D: You're 15? I'm assuming she's of similar age. If that's the case just be friends and don't talk about relationship stuff with her. Hang out with her and maybe she'd come around. If she were older, then it would be a total lost cause. Link to post Share on other sites
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