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I cant stop thinking about this guy.


AlienLikeYou

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I feel like I can’t talk to any of my friends about this so I came here. Ireally need to tell somebody, anybody how I feel. So I used ‘Google' and itlead me here. I've read other peoples posts and I think I've come to the right place.

I am young, currently attending university, a little naive if you will, but in all honestly I just need some advice. Some people I have spoken to, seem to think that because I am young, the things I am feeling are insignificantsomehow but I would just love a piece of advice.

 

So basically, there is this guy. I never really liked this guy at all when we first met; I would even go as far as saying I hated him a little. This changed however when I got a job at the place that he worked. We have grown closer and after a few years of a growing friendship, I find myself thinking about him all of the time. I have this burning desire to tell him how I feel but fear the ramifications.

 

It's only now that I realise that I was attracted to him from the beginning of the year, at a work party we had. I have working with him for about year and half before the actual party and since then have clearly been in denial about the whole thing. It was work party and I had a little too much to drink, but I remember dancing with him and just being in his company made me smile. From that moment, nearly every thought that occupies my mind involves him. I smile when I’m around him, and when I’m not I want to be. It is like I crave being in his presence. My friends do have a tendency to tease me about him. I play my cards very close to my chest and haven’t disclosed anything, but they keep implying it. It got to the point, when I asked my best friend; is it me? I am acting like I’m attracted to this guy? To which she replied ‘No’ it’s him. She said the way it’s the way he talks about me. This has only made the situation more confusing. More recently, we went to a mutual friend’s party, and again, I drank a little too much. He was stone cold sober the entire time as he was driving. The whole night, I just wanted to be with him and had the tendency to go and talk to him and just be around, and yet when I wasn’t I would find my eyes, searching for him. More often than not I found his eyes on mine. Was it because I was drunk and he was just looking out for me, or was it because he was jealous, cause at the time I was embracing another guy. He took my home, after that party as well, and my affection for him has just grown even more. Ever since the second party, I have been unable to stop thinking about him and am finding myself trying to plan my life around his.

 

I understand that compared to some people matters conerning the heart, this isn't very severe but it has been bottled down and I just needed to tell anybody. I am scared. I am scared of rejection from him, as I dont know if I'll be able to take it. I dont think, my heart can take keeping this in any longer. I just had to get this out. Thank you for reading.

Edited by AlienLikeYou
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