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What's so bad about fwb with a coworker?


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I had sex with a coworker of mine about a month ago, and I was at his house the other night watching a movie when we fooled around a bit (I was on that crappy time of the month so didn't have sex.) At work we both act completely normal around each other.

 

I will admit this is my first 'friends' with benefit situation, so...kind of winging it. >_>

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What's your expectations out of this? What is his? That tends to play a part in how it evolves. If you want to date him, fwb isn't the ideal route; it's better to make your intentions known.

 

Problem is, for a situation that promises no boundaries, there are plenty of them. If one of you develops romantic feelings and the other wants things to remain as they are, your working relationship can deteriorate rather quickly...and sometimes uncomfortably.

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What's your expectations out of this? What is his? That tends to play a part in how it evolves. If you want to date him, fwb isn't the ideal route; it's better to make your intentions known.

 

Problem is, for a situation that promises no boundaries, there are plenty of them. If one of you develops romantic feelings and the other wants things to remain as they are, your working relationship can deteriorate rather quickly...and sometimes uncomfortably.

 

I agree. My expectations are just sex until I found someone to have a relationship with (if that happens) and then cut things off. We only got together twice so even this is pretty new, and I planned to talk about it the next time we get together.

 

Basically my 'rules' being:

1.) If we start a relationship with someone else, cut things off with each other.

2.) He needs to stop bull****ting. He's the type that thinks he needs to be sweet to get things going I guess, when in reality it just makes me confused and a bit annoyed. He'll cuddle while watching a movie in his room, he'll hold my hand, kiss my forehead, compliment me on random crap. Except he hasn't asked me out, so it's a bit obvious that our intentions are the same. >_>

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That sounds like a good idea (talking over some ground rules with him) but I would also check your company's dating policy just in case (I know that it won't cover fwb specifically but there might be some stuff in there that would be handy to know). I'd be careful though. Dating a coworker is an awkward situation as it is, and from what I've seen with friends a fwb situation can go very wrong very quickly. Be careful!

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Thanks for the concern; I hope things go peacefully as well, haha! I skimmed through the handbook, and I saw no mention of dating coworkers. A coworker of mine dated two other coworkers and got engaged to the second, so I assume it's just fine.

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reservoirdog1

As long as your company doesn't have any prohibitions against it, and as long as everything goes according to your plan, there's nothing wrong with it. Since you're stuck seeing that person every day it can be awkward if things go badly, but that doesn't mean they will. Keep a firm reign on things, hope for the best, and enjoy.

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The test of this dynamic will be when one or the other chooses to decline a particular offer to have sex, which of course is intrinsic to FWB, since there are no expectations. If the work climate survives that test, smooth sailing ahead :)

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