Weird Friendship? Should I step back?

[Sakura Blossom]

Hi. This guy and I were pretty good friends until things started to get well, different. He started contacting me all the time, called me late at night, started to be more affectionate, you get the idea. Well, things just got too weird and strained, and he started being all wishy washy about where we were so I told him we both needed to step away and do our own thing. I told him not to contact me anymore cuz I felt things were just gonna go around in circles and cause annoyance to both of us.

 

Well about a month later I missed his friendship, after all, he was really a great pal, so I wrote him a letter saying sorry I think I overreacted a lot before. Can we just start over with a clean slate as friends? You've been a great friend to me and I don't want to throw that away. If not, I totally understand, see you.

 

He writes back saying he'd be more than happy to be friends again, and that he'll show me that he'll be the best guy friend a girl can ever have. Ok, cool, but his last sentence threw me off guard: "And you never know where our feelings may take us."

I asked him exactly what he meant by this, and he said "exactly what I wrote" and just kinda laughed nervously.

 

At the time, I thought, "um. ok then." But let it pass. And he's been contacting me regularly, and I mean a lot, once again. I asked if there were any cool gals in his life giving him a good time, and he said nothing like that.

 

Just recently, though I found out he has a girlfriend, which is fine, but I find it strange that he said he wasn't seeing anyone, and I am definitely getting the "more than friends" vibe from him towards me. I don't think it's fair to the girlfriend at all. Isn't he um, cheating on her?

 

Er..can any one of you decipher this? I truly do mean it when I say I want to start over as friends and I want him to be happy with his gf. But is he hoping for something more here? I don't want to be a part of this if that is the case. Maybe I need to step back from the friendship?

 

Thanks and sorry if the answer seems obvious but I really don't know..

[MercyRose]

He isn't interested in being just friends, he wants more.

 

Stay away. There are lots of good people out there to be friends with.

 

You don't need to get into this situation for the sake of one friendship with a man who has a girlfriend and probably plenty of friends of his own.

[Sakura Blossom]

Thanks MercyRose. I have decided to stay away and told him bye this just isn't fair to everybody involved. And he said he didn't want to lose me...so did he have true romantic feelings for me? I don't understand.

 

But what he is doing is wrong isn't it? He's definitely not a player or a jerk at all, he's genuinely a nice guy. I just don't understand how he can do that when he has a girlfriend he is devoted to. Is he trying to hold on to two girls at once? What do guys have in mind when they do this?

 

I am just having trouble maybe accepting the fact that he may not be such a nice guy after all.

Can someone have feelings for two people at once like that?

 

Please help out, it really hurts losing a childhood friend and also realizing things about them too. In a way I feel like a jerk for telling him to go away and then just waltzing back expecting everything to be fine and dandy the way I would like it.

I sincerely hope I didn't mess anything up between him and his girlfriend. thanks again.

[wideawake]

Originally posted by Sakura Blossom

But what he is doing is wrong isn't it? He's definitely not a player or a jerk at all, he's genuinely a nice guy.

 

WRONG.

 

He's a player and a jerk, you just haven't realized it yet.

 

How would you like to be his girlfriend?

 

Come on...he's just feeding you lines and looking for something on the side.

[NEONINK]

just a guess...

i think he had stronger feelings, yes. perhaps he wanted to see if it would work out between you two, before dumping the other girl.

??? but that's just a guess. however, that happens everyday.