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Is there hope in being more than just friends?


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OK let me give you the backround first. I have been friends with this girl or the past 8 years, and I have always had a crush on her but never had the guts to say anything. She had just got out of a long term relationship about 4 months ago and has only seen one guy breifly since then, and that was right after she had gotten out of the long term. When she is in a relationship she kind of branches off from talking to me, so when she got out of the realtionship it had been a long time since we talked or hung out. Well about 2 1/2 months ago we hung out and since then we started talking and hanging out more than we ever had before. I had been wanting to tell her that I've always had feelings for her and valentines day came around and I made a big mistake and wrote her an email pretty much telling her how I feel about her. After she got that she stopped talking to me for about 2 weeks and never had made any type of reply to that email. Bu tnow where back to hanging out and talking all the time. But when we are together I try to make some moves on her like put my arm around her, or just kind of nudge her to see what she does but she seems to kind of back away from me when I do it. So im confussed on if she is just doing this because I wont come out and say my feelings to her right to her face or is it that she doesnt want to be anything more than freinds. The thing is that she is the type of person that always has a boyfreind and since we been hanging out more she doesnt hang out with any other guys other than some of the people me and her are both good friends with that I know she has no types of feelings for. So im confussed there too, is she waiting for me to make a move to tell her how I feel? Is that the reason she isnt with another guy right now? Im so confussed, I want to ask to tell her how I feel but I dont want to have her take it the wrong way and stop hanging out with me totally. I need advise on how to aproacher her on this without messing anything up? I need help so bad, please help, any advise will help me.

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Ladybug313

Hi JaksLax. From what I read, I think she just wants to stay friends with you. You say she might be waiting for a "move." I think you already made that move by writing her that valentine's letter. That's a pretty clear way to get your message across if any. And she didn't say anything for two weeks or even reply. If I were in her shoes and was interested, I would have responded to that right away. Then again, I would have responded that I just wanted to be friends too, so that's not very nice that she left you hanging for all that time. Maybe she needed some time to think about it. She backs off from you getting physical. I think that even if you hadn't told her your feelings and she HAS feelings for you, she wouldn't move away from your touches. Also she is probably not with another guy right now because there isn't another guy she wants to have a relationship with at the present time. It seems she thinks of you as a really good pal. But I think that is the only way she thinks of you. By all means remain great friends with her, but in terms of romance, you might want to look elsewhere. Take care.

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Do you think it would be a good idea if I did bring the topic up of being "more than just friends" one more time? It really bothers me now just leaving at what its at right now. I dont want to regret not asking her for the rest of my life, it just drives me crazy wondering and worrying about what she would say if I did bring up the topic. I just want to get it over with but I dont like rejection so I havent said anything yet. Whats your suggestions, shoud I just go for it and ask again, this time in person, or would that be a bad idea to do so? Help me!!! :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused:

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The girl is using you for something to do in between boyfriends...plain and simple. You can't allow yourself to be jerked around like that. I don't think she is consciously using you to land on in between relationships but that's what it boils down to. I wouldn't call it much of a friendship. She seems to count on you to keep her busy in between her romances and that's not what you are looking for.

 

Come right out and let her know you are interested in her and you want to be more than friends. If she refuses, back off and go find romance elsewhere.

 

You can remain her friend if you want but just understand that when she meets another guy she wants to get to know better, you'll be dusted until it ends. One day, she'll meet Mr. Right and you'll be history. Between making wedding plans, the wedding itself (you may or may not be invited), taking care of babies, etc., she'll have no time for you whatsoever. Moreover, it's very doubtful her husband would want her to have much to do with a guy who expressed a fondness for her.

 

Hey, if she cared anything romantic about you at all, you would have gotten a response to the email you sent to her disclosing your feelings. Don't be a lovesick wimp. She'll have no respect for you whatsoever if you continue to suck up to her, getting nothing in return.

 

There's lots of romance available to you out there. Go get it!!!

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