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Do I mean anything to him?


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Hey all! Wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation... I am in love with a guy who's on the rebound after a 3-year long marriage. We went out for 5 months, for a while he kept me very confused, alternating between romantic dates and just hanging out as friends thing. Finally told me about the divorce and that he doesn't want anything serious. I was already hooked...

 

We kept going for a while longer, it was all romantic dates, until he realized I was crazy for him. He started 'the talk' again, saying I like the way we are but hope you're not expecting anything more in the future, and asked me what my feeling were. I told him it would be too hard for me to keep seeing him as a friend (esp. see him with another girl, at which point he said it would bother me a lot to see you with another guy too!!)

 

Two months go by, I had planned an evening with some friends, he shows up! Comes to talk to me, I just say hi and try to avoid him. He's obviously bummed, his friends notice he looks 'lost' and he nodded making a sad face. I got the feeling he was upset when I was talking and laughing with another guy in the group. He kept staring me all night. Eventually his mood got better. I don't know maybe he was upset about something else, maybe I read too much into it... but I wish I knew if I ever meant anything to him! Does he want me in his life? Thanks!

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If you care anything about yourself or this guy, you'll stop thinking about him and give him time to straighten out his head following his divorce.

 

There is no good purpose to be served in trying to get something going with somebody who's in the healing phase of a break-up or divorce. It could take him months or years before he's ready for any kind of meaningful relationship.

 

Any time you spend right now trying to analyze this is totally wasted. Plain and simple, you were a rebound...somebody nice to be around while he was trying to forget about his hurt and pain. You should have known that.

 

Hopefully you have learned something from this.

 

It's very hard to say if he will be interested in you in a year or two but you might just want to tell him that when he feels he's ready for another relationship and if he's still interested in you at that time to give you a call. But don't hold your breath and don't put your life on hold for him.

 

And please don't do something like this again. It doesn't pay!!!

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HokeyReligions

Chalk it up to experience and keep moving on. More than likely if you pursue this now you (and he) will only be hurt.

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No I don't want him to hurt any more. I know he was depressed for a while after the separation. I wish things have never gotten physical between us, wish I've known about his baggage at the time, because I lost what could have been a great friendship. And every time I see him I relive the loss.

 

I do my best to avoid him, which comes at a cost (we had many common friends) but he's not helping me. He knew I was gonna be at the event last Saturday but still he came, and wanted to re-establish communication, and staring and noticing every little thing I said or did. When we 'split up' he wanted to stay friends, I made it clear I didn't want any contact with him. He said "Well, maybe in the future when all the feelings subside..." but he's ignoring my wish.

 

Tony, I like the idea of keeping the door open to him for some time in the future. The problem is we're both moving on to other countries within the next year :(

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He has his own problems and is confused within himself...the LAST thing YOU need is for his confusion to seep into your life.

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