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I do not understand her inconsistensies in behavior


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I met this girl at work 3 months ago and immediately got along with her. I noticed how quickly she warmed up to me..she'd tease me, playfully hit me, i'd catch her staring all the time..she walk up to me just to talk and she'd laugh at pretty much everything I'd say. Safe to say she enjoyed my company. I also heard from a buddy of mine that she had a boyfriend but at this point I had developed feelings for her. I decided to ask her out (stupid I know) and I got a swift taste of reality when she said she'd get back to me on facebook but never did.

 

She brought it up a week after and justified her excuse to not go out with me by blaming it on the weather. Anyway..we moved past it and she began to flirt again..not as much...but I'd get a lot of stares when she thought I wasn't looking.

 

But after being rejected like that, I took everything she did as her just enjoying my company and my attention at work only. She wouldn't even really reply to any of my messages on facebook (I left her 2 and she replied with nothing). While doing this..I began focusing my attention on another girl I was getting along with real well..she was single.

 

Then one fine day at work..the original one saw how me and this new girl were talking (I caught her staring) ..and she was real quiet around me..she didn't even talk or say bye to me that night (completely uncharacteristic of her usual behavior back then). I guess she got jealous?

 

Things went back to normal and we continued our playful banter...but I was becoming extremely frustrated with the fact that many many weeks had passed by and nothing was really developing..not even in terms of a friendship. She'd just talk to me at work but outside of it..there was nothing. So I eventually burned out and cut the extra attention i was giving her and directed it on 2 other girls and my job. I wouldn't walk up to her and chitchat or flirt like I used to. So she seeked me out a few times and tried getting my attention with a few teasing comments and jokes. She'd say things like "this is the first time i've seen you tonight" or "Thre you are!" I told her how I had been busy and then went to take my lunch with another girl. When I came back out with her..the one I'm talking about in this post saw me with her and turned around to stare at us when she thought she was out of my sight.

 

And now it's like she took our friendship and brought it a step down. I don't know if it's because she's seen me talking to other girls more or if it's cause I don't flirt with her like I used to. What I get now is a half assed tight lipped smile from her when she passes by and it's so irritating considering we were closer than that just a few weeks ago. Why can't she just be clear?

 

What the hell is her problem and what does she want? What should I do? I feel like yelling at her lol.

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This sounds so similar to my situation right now it's scary, lol. You said she got real quiet when she saw you around another girl. I take that as jealousy. Maybe?? she doesn't have the confidence to think she can put the moves on, over this other girl.

 

You also said the friendship seems to have gone down a notch, I am experiencing the same thing. I don't know what it is, why they just can't talk to us. We (guys) aren't that scary I didn't think. I don't know her problem, are there any of her friends you could talk to?

 

Don't yell at her. I needed to issue an apology (oops)

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Yea..she got really quiet. She'd normally talk to me if we hung out on our breaks but this particular occasion..she had her nose buried in a magazine. I asked her why wasn't she talking..and she says "I'm reading.." what else am i supposed to say to that?

 

She was different a few weeks ago..and recently since I've become busier and unable to talk to her..she's withdrawn a lot..since that day she saw me with that other girl..and I'm no better now..my frustrations have led me to ignore her completely.

 

I don't want to hurt her and I wish she'd talk to me. I guess I messed up?

 

..any help would be much appreciated

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LucreziaBorgia

This is the girl with a boyfriend, right? I'm not sure why you would expect anything but inconsistent behavior. That's how AW's operate.

 

She wants your attention. Period. Not your friendship. And she will sulk like a child when she doesn't get it or when you give it to someone else.

 

I don't want to hurt her and I wish she'd talk to me. I guess I messed up?

 

You didn't mess up. You are feeling exactly like she wants you to.

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Im not sure why you are confused?

You have stopped giving her attention and have distanced yourself from her and have started chatting to another girl...

She is now distancing herself from you ( you cant hurt her or make her feel bad if she has distance)

This isnt your fault she has a b/f and was not ready to leave that relationship for you...

IMO she liked you but not enough to be with you.

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