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problem pls help. i have an intimate relationship with my child's father. our relationship has strictly been sex with no strings attached before the pregnancy and after. my feelings for him have changed drastically. i love him but the feelings are not mutual. he supports his child. i want to end this relationship and i want him to be there for his child but he never wants to hear that. its hard not to have contact with him because of the child we share. advice pls

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You write as if you have absolutely no control over your feelings.

 

Feelings are decisions.

 

Make the decision to end the sexual relationship, back off the feelings of romantic love you have for him, and work on a relationship that is strictly for the sake of the child the two of you had together. If millions of others can do that same thing, certainly you can.

 

Just explain to him that because of your feelings for him, which are not mutual, it is necessary to cease the sexual relationship. But let him know that it is very important for him to remain in the life of the child you share.

 

Unless he is an absolute jerk, he will totally understand and act accordingly.

 

Don't keep doing something that will give you pain in the end and lead nowhere. You're doing yourself a major favor by cutting this off in it's present state and transforming it into something more appropriate for the circumstances.

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He never wants to hear that you wont have sex with him?

 

He wants to be controlling over you. He will try to get his way with you as far and long as you allow him to. Be straight forward about your feelings for him as Tony suggested.

 

If he still doesn't want to "hear it" than you have to toughen up on him. If it comes down to that than I suggest telling him that your not attracted to him because of his selfish characteristic.

 

When you love someone and the person hurts you, eventually you grow tired of the hurt and the attraction you once had for them diminishes. The attractions will one day be gone without your choice.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Update, I ended the intimate relationship with my son's father. His reponse, he told me never to call him anymore for anything even if its concerning the child we share. My reponse, OKAY CLICK! Is sex that serious or is he just mad he will not be getting anymore? I can't make this man be a father to his son and i won't call him. How can this man be that selfish and stupid.

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This man has a pretty primitive mentality and I would be happy to have him out of my life if I were you.

 

It seems he was using you mainly for sex. It also seems that he has quite an ego and can't handle being rejected.

 

You have to take half the responsiblity for this. You are the one who made him a participant in fathering your child so that implies you thought you knew him pretty well. But you didn't.

 

Just learn from this and move on. He's a real dud and you're lucky to be rid of him.

 

Chances are good that when he grows up (or gets hit in the head with a baseball bat) he'll realize that he is a father and will want to be a part of his child's life. Until that happens, just forget he even exists.

 

Your son is probably much better without him in his life.

 

I can't tell you why this man is as selfish and as stupid as he is...but he certainly doesn't hold an exclusive franchise on those attributes.

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what an immature brat. In a way, it's a good thing that your son isn't around him to pick up his bad habits. It does sound like he was using you for sex, and the fact that he had that kinda reaction proves that he doesn't care about you as a person....which is sad. Just learn from it, move on and when he comes crawling back, make sure he remembers what an @ss he is. LOL

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Even if you have no contact with this lamebrain, he is obbligated to support his child.

 

Get a child support order from a judge.

 

He won't like not getting sex from you as "payment' for his continued support of his child, but isn't that too bad!

 

As for you, please do not have anymore children without you being married and in a committed, loving relationship.

 

Protect your child from the less than loving ways of life.

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thanks, reading all the comments some were hard to take. but sometimes hearing the truth hurts. i've moved on and decided not to settle for less anymore. i deserve to be loved and not just someone's sex partner. working on improving every aspect of my life and at the same time knowing my better half is out there somewhere.

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