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I'm going to tell her, need advice. URGENT!


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Hopefully I can get a reply to this quickly. I am gonna attempt to tell her to night that I like her more than a friend. This is the plan, hopefully you can give me some advice or do's or don'ts or whatever.

 

Well right now she is at work, typically after work she comes over. But I'm thinking of calling her at some point in an hour or two and be like this:

 

Me: Hey, what's up?

Her: Nothing much, sup with you? (something along that line)

Me: Nothing much, just sitting around.

Her: Cool (something along that line)

Me: What time you get off work tonight?

Her: I get off at __:__ PM (something along that line)

Me: Whatcha doing after work?

-now typically she comes over after work, she works right down the road so most likely she will already be coming over.. but just depends-

Her: Nothing, why?

Me: Well, I want to talk to you about something and was wondering if you could stop by for a few. (This is ONLY if she doesn't ask or mentions coming over)

Her: Sure (hopefully)

 

Ok, conversation over on the phone.. she's coming over. Well, of course I want to tell her that I like her more than a friend. I do live with my parents still and I wanna tell her this privately.

 

We have a nice park down the road that has a lake around it with sidewalk around the lake and benches and such. I figured that when she gets here I'll just be like "hey, lets go somewhere to talk" and I will drive her there.

 

We get there, either walk around the lake or sit and I'll just say something like:

 

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you, since we met my feelings for you has gone beyond friendship and would like to know if you feel the same about me?"

 

I figured I can say something to that affect. Now help me on this guys and gals, if you feel this is a bad idea please please let me know. if you feel that anything I said is bad lemme know, perhaps reprhase or rewrite something that would be better for me to say to her.

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No sooner I get done posting this she calls me asking if she can come over after work, so now it's just a matter of forcing myself to tell her.

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Don't do it your way...you put her on the spot. Maybe she doesn't want to tell you exactly how she feels about you now. Maybe she doesn't even know for sure.

 

Tell her that you feel there's something special between the two of you. Then tell her if she should ever be open to upgrading the present friendship to more, that is something you would very much like to explore.

 

Then see what her reaction is. Depending on her reaction, you can either take it forward from there and reveal more of your feelings...or you can just back off and change the subject.

 

I don't like the idea of you coming out and asking her if she feels the same way about you....that calls for some introspection on her part and some disclosure that maybe she has not thought about making.

 

Do it my way and she has a number of choices.

 

You have got to play this cool.

 

You seem so neurotic about this. If you're going to love somebody, you've got to have guts, you've got to be strong, and you've got to use good judgement.

 

Now, go do it and let us know what happened.

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Tony,

 

Thanks for the helpful advice, I would hate to put her on the spot like that and force her to give me a yes or no. I wasn't thinking, but yours is much more logical and will give me a better idea by watching her reaction.

 

I'll keep you posted.

 

Joe

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Hey Joe.

 

I have gone through this so many times. Though it has been different everytime.

 

In my opinion, I belive that a face to face chat isn't very good. You will seem intimidated, and probably back down a few times before anything ever gets said. I have always done this over the phone, then again with the guys I confessed it to we had a specific time each week just for phone conersations. A cuddle session works well too, just after a movie with the static on the tv (but mute the tv) a dull living room with music, something both of you can stand to listen to. This way she can lean on you and be close to you, but you don't have to look her in the eye.

 

In whatever case you decide to do it in, just don't be upfront and give it your all. We wary and start off slow. Start by reminising about when you guys met and the memories you guys have shared together (all good stuff...make her laugh). Talk about all of the stuff that you guys have gone though together and how your friendship seemed to survive anything. Start getting into a more serious tone. Talk about when you guys really started getting to know eachother as friends. Tell her you had a crush on her at first...what was her reaction...Did she not say anything? Did she say she had on on you too? Then you know there is a chance for there still to be one. And slowly work our way into the topic of you having feelings for her.

 

In my opinion it works. This way you can back out if you feel like there is going to be feelings that aren't shared, or proceed if she is agreeing with everything you say and things look promising. Let me know how it goes.

 

jill

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I'm pretty sure she likes me, last night she came over and right when I go to the door I'm just amazed at how beautiful she looked. She was all dressed up like never before, and she was just like so happy when I went to the door she was just smiling. All I could say to her was "wow, you look amazing".

 

She was over here till 6 AM just messing around playing games, today is the day I tell her I have feelings for her.

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So why are you putting this off. Get some guts and keep your word to us by discussing this with her TONIGHT!!!

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I finally told her, and the outcome was great! I left her house and was just down her road leaving when I said screw it. I called her, I asked her to meet me in her front yard.

 

She did, I told her that my feelings for her went beyond friendship. I asked her if she ever thought of us being more than friends, she said yes of course that is why we spend so much time together. So we're just taking it slow.

 

I'm happy!

 

Thanks guys.

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See, it wasn't nearly as terrible as you thought it would be and it seems to have had a very happy ending.

 

I agree that you should take things slow but it sounds like you might have the makings of a great romance here.

 

Very happy for you...and good luck!!!

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YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!! :bunny:

 

You showed her you got "cajones!!!" LOL Awesome, I hope it is the best time of your life! Way To Go Sugar!

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