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I met this great girl a few weeks ago and we’re “taking it slow”, we agreed on being friends first and official partners when we are ready. We’ve both had are hearts broken in the recent past and don’t want to ruin this relationship as did with our exes. She tells me she really likes me, but her male best friend of the past 7-years or so is behaving all touchy feely with her (even around me).

 

I feel like the third-wheel when I’m around them, and when I confront her on the situation she tells me that she “feels nothing for him” and she feels that what he “is doing is very inappropriate”. But still to this day, she still lets him crawl his hand across her legs!!!

 

What should I do? I really like this girl and would hate to ruin the relationship we have now.

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RecordProducer
I met this great girl a few weeks ago and we’re “taking it slow”, we agreed on being friends first and official partners when we are ready. We’ve both had are hearts broken in the recent past and don’t want to ruin this relationship as did with our exes. She tells me she really likes me, but her male best friend of the past 7-years or so is behaving all touchy feely with her (even around me).

 

I feel like the third-wheel when I’m around them, and when I confront her on the situation she tells me that she “feels nothing for him” and she feels that what he “is doing is very inappropriate”. But still to this day, she still lets him crawl his hand across her legs!!!

 

What should I do? I really like this girl and would hate to ruin the relationship we have now.

David, I think you should believe her when she says that she feels nothing for him and that she likes you. There could be two reasons (in my mind) why she'd let him touch her like that:

1. She doesn't have the courage to tell him to stop, because she cares about his friendship and she would rather put up with that than lose him as a friend. Also, even though she thinks is it inappropriate, it doesn't mean it really bothers her. I have a friend who doesn't mind touching my breasts (no, she's not gay, she is just indecent, a bit ignorant, and too open-minded), but it really doesn't bother me and I would never tell her anything because I appreciate her as a friend and I've known her for a long time.

 

2. She might like the attention, especially in front of you.

 

Just let it go for now. Don't ruin the relationship. Sooner or later, he will want more, she will (hopefully) reject him and he will go away.

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