Confused

[agkm]

My problems are not solved yet, in fact it got even more confusing now. My boyfriend admitted that his feelings towards me are not as strong as when we first started. He claims he's putting in 100% effort to get back to where it belongs. But, I know is just impossible. I believe once the feelings fade off, it will continue to fade and there's simply no way to get it back. He's not willing to let go and he still wants to try. He knows is very unfair for me to hang on to such uncertain relationship. He even said that is my call, whether to continue or no. We've talked about it so many times and we are both quite fed-up and soar talking about the same thing over and over again.

Right now I'm just tagging along with him and honestly, I really don't know where is this leading me to. One of these days he will just give up trying coz' he will finally realized no matter how hard he tries, his feelings will not grow again. What exactly happened between us? He was such a sweet and loving boyfriend before. Why?

 

Things got even worst when he started his new job this week. We hardly speak to each other and what more spending time together. We only see each other once a week or maybe twice, if I'm lucky. This will not help to strengthen the relationship, in fact we will be drifting apart even more. I know I can't force him. He needs time and space but what about me? Is just so unbearable. I sometimes wonder if I actually have a boyfriend? He's so cool about the whole situation. I also know that I shouldn't be giving him more stress since he has just started his new job, he needs time to adapt to the new environment and he has so much to learn. So, if I were to talk to him about us right now, he'll just give up. From my understanding, he just don't need a girlfrined now. I feel that I'm just an extra "thing" to him which is unnecessary. He just make me feel so unwanted and insecure. I really don't know what's on his mind? I want to settle our problem but I know is gonna be difficult coz' he hasn't sort out his feelings towards me. I wonder if he still has any for me?

 

I really want to give up but I'm not satisfied. Why is this relationship so unfair to me? I like him alot. He has no doubt about my feelings. But here I am doubting and wondering about his feelings. Is really driving me up the walls. I just can't handle such situation. To me, is either you're in or you're out and there's no half way meeting.

 

I don't even know when will be the right time to talk to him again? In fact, I don't think there's a need to talk coz' action speaks louder. I know after a long day at work he's very tired mentally and he needs his rest. Is that one of the lame excuse to avoid me? I won't get to talk to him during working hours and I've to wait till late at night before he calls and our conversation lasted for about 5 minutes or so. Neither will I prolong the conversation coz' I know he's not interested to talk to me and he wants to sleep. I should be understanding, don't I? But are we heading towards the positive direction?

I must admit that I can feel him. At this point of time, I know he's already on the verge of giving up. I guess he's just waiting for the right time to drop me the bomb! I've been telling myself I must be prepared for the worst. I just can't feel that he's my boyfriend anymore. Is that normal? Isn't that signs we're drifting apart?

 

I doubt he knows I'm suffering. He's too busy to care and neither is he interested to care. He can be a very loving/caring/attentive boyfriend if he wants to. But too bad, I'm just not the one for him.

I should just give up? Or should I give it a little bit more time?

[MercyRose]

You don't need this kind of guy.

 

It sounds like he wants someone new but doesn't want to tell you to your face. He'd rather wait till you get fed up and end it so he cannot be blamed, or so he doesn't have to be the one to do it.

 

Just let him go and wait for someone who will adore you.

 

If you aren't happy in this relationship, then its not working is it?

 

You cannot make someone want you and lavish you with the loving attention you deserve.

[Tony T]

Men don't have to "force" themselves to obtain feelings. They are either there or they're not.

 

It's insane to wait around while a guy tries for force himself to restore feelings he once had. It's a bizarre thing to do and not fair to him or to you.

 

Ease off on the relationship and start seeing other people. Eventually you will find a guy whose love for you will grow, not diminish.