Advice needed

[Starym]

A big thing happend in my relationship with a friend and I'd appreciate any advice you can give me on what to do. Here's the story:

 

About a year and a half ago I met a coworker that I liked. I asked her out, but she turned me down since she was seeing somebody. We became friends anyway, and I have fallen in love with her.

 

About two months ago, she and her boyfriend broke up.

 

Last night, she was cleaning her apartment because a friend was coming into town today. She hurt her back trying to move some furniture and begged me to come help her finish. I agreed and help her finish things. When I finished she offered to share a bottle of liquor with me. After we finished, we necked for about two hours.

 

Today she has been playing host to her friend all day, but she has told me that she wants to talk to me tomorrow about what happened. For the record, we are no longer coworkers, I am 27 and she is 25. This is the first time any romance has occurred between us, alhough she was in another relationship for most of it. Any tips on what to say to her tomorrow (or even if I should just let her talk) would be appreciated.

[Tony T]

No tips at all. You don't know what direction she's going to take. Most likely when she sobered up she was somewhat embarassed and she may tell you that the two-hour necking session had no meaning. That's would be a lot of crap.

 

Play it by ear. Listen to everything she has to say. Then, no matter what she says, let her know you are open to taking the friendship to a higher level.

 

In no case should you spill your guts out to her about being in love with her or anything like that. Just let her know you are very fond of her and would be very open to upgrading the friendship.

 

Even if she tells you that's not the direction she wants things to go...trust me...when she's ready...that's what she'll want.

 

Just don't give in too easily. If she tells you she wants to start dating you seriously, let her know that's something you would want to take slowly and let grow over time.

 

If you seem too easy to her, that will be a major turn off. It's too bad you don't have a lot of experience in being coy. That's what would truly make this work.