pathetic_i_guess Posted January 22, 2002 Share Posted January 22, 2002 Okay, long story short... One of my best friends...a girl (i'm a guy, if that matters)... I meet her for coffee, bluntly tell her the truth...that I have less-than-platonic feelings for her. She laughs at first, but then sees I'm not...she then says she doesn't believe, thinks I'm kidding (i joke around a lot)... She's confused, she says...shocked, at a loss for words...she's convinced i had the hots for a former crush i had like a year ago...tried to convince otherwise, but she still denies... Finally the conversation moves deeper, i try to explain...she says she doesn't feel that way about me... I ask her if she'd ever tried...she says she had a crush on me, like a year ago... She said I could call her still...as I said a friendship would no longer work...i tiold her i would not call...I told her to call me...that was all three days ago... What's a pathetic guy to do here? HELP! Tell me where do i go from here? I feel good to have the big weight lifted (i've felt this way for a long time...we've both been single a long time so i thought, now maybe was the right time) but i also am going a little crazy thinking about it... Anyone, anyone...thoughts? thanx pathetic_i_think Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 22, 2002 Share Posted January 22, 2002 Well, if she had a crush on you at one time, there's a chance it could be rekindled. You didn't clarify in your post what she said after you said you didn't want to be friends with her, that you only wanted a relationship. Did she say to call her after or before you said that? At any rate, you have nothing to lose by calling her and asking her out on a date. A real date. Like, dinner, and you pick up the bill. Make it clear to her on the phone that you view this as a date, not as a friends hanging out kind of thing. That way, you'll know for sure. If she says no, then you have no choice but to move on. Once some time has passed, you may decide that you want to be friends with her again. But if she says yes, imagine the possibilities. It's quite possible that you caught her off guard and she didn't know how to react, but after some thought she may feel different about things, and may feel weird about calling you. I think it's your move to make one effort in this situation. If she doesn't take it well, or doesn't call you back (if you leave a message), then you should forget it. When girls are interested they express interest. By making one effort, you'll find out how she feels. Okay, long story short... One of my best friends...a girl (i'm a guy, if that matters)... I meet her for coffee, bluntly tell her the truth...that I have less-than-platonic feelings for her. She laughs at first, but then sees I'm not...she then says she doesn't believe, thinks I'm kidding (i joke around a lot)... She's confused, she says...shocked, at a loss for words...she's convinced i had the hots for a former crush i had like a year ago...tried to convince otherwise, but she still denies... Finally the conversation moves deeper, i try to explain...she says she doesn't feel that way about me... I ask her if she'd ever tried...she says she had a crush on me, like a year ago... She said I could call her still...as I said a friendship would no longer work...i tiold her i would not call...I told her to call me...that was all three days ago... What's a pathetic guy to do here? HELP! Tell me where do i go from here? I feel good to have the big weight lifted (i've felt this way for a long time...we've both been single a long time so i thought, now maybe was the right time) but i also am going a little crazy thinking about it... Anyone, anyone...thoughts? thanx pathetic_i_think Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted January 22, 2002 Share Posted January 22, 2002 I disagree with Clia. You should not ask her out. That will piss her off after she was very clear she didn't want a romantic relationship with you. Calling her and making an annoyance of yourself could destroy any chances you may have with her in the future. Back off, get another life going, make new friends and make yourself scarce around this lady. Women mean it when they say they only want friendship...but their minds are subject to change without notice. You may get an opportunity sometime in the future to upgrade the friendship...but only if you stop being her buddy. Be a nice friend but don't be around her very often. Give her a chance to start looking at you differently. This could take quite a while. Link to post Share on other sites
pathetic_i_guess Posted January 23, 2002 Share Posted January 23, 2002 Clia: To answer your question... We had a 20 min. conversation...we were interrupted by a common acquaintance...the "big talk" thus ended there... As the three of us got up to leave she looks at me and says, "you can still call me, y'know"... Thank you both Tony and Clia for your responses... I've decided to give her a week to think about our talk (if she is thinking about it at all)... After a week I will get some closure by saying a few things I didn't have the time to say last time...this will be one time only, last ditch effort...I will ask for her honesty, which i know she will give me... If the response is less than favourable, I will accept it and tell her that maybe we'll talk again someday down the road...I will then leave... That will be it...I will not see her again after that...it's too painful to do it any other way... Thanks again... kw. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts