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my love is fading away slowly for my BF


Friends and Lovers Progressing into "Friends with benefits" and beyond: When platonic relationships become more intimate.

Old 3rd June 2008, 3:34 AM   #1
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my love is fading away slowly for my BF

Ok, i have been dating my bf for 3yrs now. He is one of the nicest guy i have ever met. However, i feel like i haven't learned anything from our relationship besides it been the greatest sex i have ever had. He does whatever i want, but the one thing i want from our relationship is honest conversations. I really love this guy, but I feel like he is always lying to about small things, or just keep me in the dark.
It all started when we met, he told me that he was in law school. I came to find out later that he is and had been working on his undergrad for 8years. Now, help me here guys, i'm i been unsympathetic or lack supportive to think that he should probably look into pursuing another career besides Law, as i feel like Law may not be academically suitable for me? He has so many excuses why he has not finished his undergad, but keep in mind, he lives at home and work only part-time. i have finished my college, and not really looking for a man to take care of me, but i want settle down soon. I really want to stick with my guy, but i feel like i might have to take care of him forever, as i feel like he is selling me a dream that my never come true. My family is on my back to move on, and i want to too because i don't want to end up miserable in the future. I'M I WRONG FOR WANTING TO CALL IT QUITS IF HE DOES NOT MAKE PROGRESS BY THE END OF THE YEAR? i know he loves me, more than any guy i have ever dated. Please help rationalize this further. Thaks in advace
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Old 4th June 2008, 2:55 AM   #2
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Law school vs undergrad is a pretty big fib, but he was probably trying to impress you at the time. 8 years is indeed a long time to take for undergrad, and you're not wrong to want to see him make some progress in his life, but it is his life. Some people need longer to work out what exactly they want to do. Other people are just bums. It's hard for me to tell from your post which your bf is. If you two are really as in love as you say you are, it might be worth it to talk to an impartial third party (ie, couples' counselor) to get everything out there and maybe work out your differences; if not, then it sounds to me like it may indeed be time for you two to move on.
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Old 4th June 2008, 3:05 AM   #3
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Does he want to graduate from college or not? Maybe he should just take a break if his heart isn't in it. It's his life. If you can't live with that, by all means, move on.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mary.murphy View Post
he should probably look into pursuing another career besides Law, as i feel like Law may not be academically suitable for me?
I realize this is probably a typo, but I wonder if your fingers understand the dynamic better than you do?
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Old 4th June 2008, 12:08 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mary.murphy View Post
I'M I WRONG FOR WANTING TO CALL IT QUITS IF HE DOES NOT MAKE PROGRESS BY THE END OF THE YEAR? i know he loves me, more than any guy i have ever dated. Please help rationalize this further. Thaks in advace
I'm not sure what your asking? You say that your not looking for someone to take care of you, but at the same time your upset that your BF isn't going to law school?

Also, you just want help rationalizing a breakup?

Here is the deal. Love him or leave him based on who he is as a person, not based on what he does for a living. If he decides to be a garbage man... you should still want to be with him. If you make your choice about him based on his earnings or professional prestige... then your shallow and don't really deserve anyone quality.

However, I don't think you should stick with a guy who is a lazy liar. So, if this guy lies a lot... and seems very lazy... maybe you should dump him. NOTE... there is a huge difference between lazy and unambitious!
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