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Don't understand friend's behaviour


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sorry I posted this thread in the 'Friendship' section but maybe here is better, not sure how to move it

 

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I have a good friend I have known for about 3 years now. He is the brother of one of my closer friends' and this is how I know him.

 

We have always had some mutual appreciation going on from day one but never acted on it even when both of us were single.... until Saturday night. Not much happened actually, only some kisses and general good time. He freaked out a little bit, especially as I am friends with his sister but I knew I wouldn't take him home that night so I was cool and I just went home. We both have one night stands time to time, we are used to casual sex and this was never going to be anything serious. No big deal.

 

The morning after I had to fly out to another country so I couldn't speak to him but sent him an email explaining that it was all cool, I had a very good time, enjoyed his company but this was it for me and he didn't have to worry about ruining our circle of friends or his sister finding out. I also told him that I didn't think a couple of kisses would get in the way of our friendship. It is a genuine friendship, we talk about all sorts of things.

 

I am also leaving the country for a year or so in about 10 days time and he knows about that, we discussed my plans in great detail about 2 weeks ago. He even suggested his company could help me with certain things.

 

So basically, while I know email wasn't the best way to talk, it was the only possibility for me and to be honest I had thought that he would be happy that we could get back to normal and just chalk it up to too much booze/treat it as experience/etc

 

I haven't heard from him though. Not a word. I don't really understand what the problem is? I don't think there is anything else I can do, is there? I don't want to leave things unresolved but this could turn out to be the way because I really don't know what else I can do. Any advice please?

 

By the way, the reason why I wouldn't go out with him (apart from my leaving the country for a while) is mainly that he is a player, he is a cool friend but makes a terrible boyfriend. He knows I don't like that side of him so he has never been under any illusions. Besides, he talks to girls all the time, he doesn't need me as a lover but he confides in me as a friend and I know for certain he values my friendship.

 

I really am puzzled as to why he isn't talking to me. I thought he would be relieved that there is no conflict!

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  • 2 weeks later...
SuperFantastico

Short answer. Perhaps you are the only 'intimate' relationship hes ever had. Lots of one night stands is like eating potato chips. They fill you up but they dont really satisfy you. Perhaps you are the only girl to ever really satisfy him?

 

Anyways, you emailed him and you did all you could do. Best thing about emails? You can recieve them in any country. So dont sweat it and have fun on the trip.

 

Cheers.

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