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What do my feelings mean?


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My roommate cooked dinner for me and his kids last night. It wasn't really planned this way, but all 4 of us ended up eating dinner together at the kitchen table. How domestic. It felt right and wrong at the same time. One of the kids pointed out that they haven't had dinner like that since they lived with my roommate and his Ex-fiance. My roommate pretty much kept quiet about it, as did I. Yet I'm supposed to move out in about 3 months. I enjoyed the feeling of family that came out of the dinner...but I can't help but continue to think that, he'd much rather it be another woman in place at the table, he'd rather it be a much more attractive woman; almost any man thinks I'm attractive; but my roommate's standards are ridiculously high. Deep down I know if we got together, I would constantly be too worried that he would cheat because I wouldn't feel up to his standards. It would never work unless he could reassure me over and over.

 

We're getting along incredibly right now, although for some reason there are no more hugs or playful remarks, etc. His much younger "girlfriend" that was around a couple weeks has suddenly disappeared, although it appears that she is texting him an awful lot. He seems distant, like he's in a "blah" mood, and seems to sleep a little more than normal..almost like he's depressed? He also doesn't look me in the eye very much anymore. But like I said, we are getting along just fine. This mood of his didn't come about until we decided not to live together anymore. Maybe something else is causing him to act this way, but normally he tells me when something's going on in his life. Maybe he's worried about his financial status after I'm gone. I haven't even expressed any concern in regards to this, as if I just don't care what happens to him, even though I do.

 

I don't know if he realizes the only reason I want to move is because I could become very attached to the family atmosphere, mean while he's out hitting on younger chicks and banging them to stroke his ego. It makes me feel inadequate, not good enough for him; cuz I"m right there, but then he'd lose his precious bachelor-hood. Yet I do need him, his financial assistance, his household assistance (which has been a major help since I have such a hectic schedule), his handy-man skills. Is it wrong of me to move out because I really just need more? Why do I feel like telling him this wouldn't do any good? I think he's tried initiating something between us before, but it wasn't clear enough.

 

I'm afraid to be the aggressor, while his attitude about marriage stinks (his Ex left him for another) and he seems to think the best thing in life is having multiple girlfriends at a time. I truly think he's bitter about women because of his Ex, and I think his bad attitude about love is a way of hiding his hurt. I will be glad to live alone again, and get my own space again, etc. But why do I continue to feel like we are supposed to be here, like it was meant for us to be this way? Over the years we always joked we'd live together, get married, and we probably would if his attitude were different. But you can't change a person, or their perspective on love. I always wish I could just tell him how wonderful I think he is, but then I'd move, and he'd get out of it with just a bigger head. I know we'll be friends forever no matter what. So perhaps after I move, I could address the true meaning behind our friendship?

 

I had a darn dream that we kissed the other night. I was sad when I woke up to reality!

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Better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't done.

 

I think you should tell him, then move out and date him while living seperately if he's into it.

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Better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't done.

 

I think you should tell him, then move out and date him while living seperately if he's into it.

 

I do think this could be a good idea. We'll still be neighbors because I will only be moving to a different apt. in the same complex. I can see him coming over to get away from the kids, etc..who knows what could happen.

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I agree totally...better to regret something you've done, if you don't tell him how you feel, you'll always be wondering what might have been. If it turns out he doesn't feel the same way, you can move on, but don't be crushed cos feelings change & just cos he might not feel that way right now, doesn't mean he won't in the future. He may jusy have his own issues to deal with atm :)

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Better to regret something you have done than regret something you haven't done.

 

I think you should tell him, then move out and date him while living seperately if he's into it.

 

 

I agree with not only this statement but also in how it applies to you..

This guy is under your skin.. and until you go down that road you will never know

 

I happen to be one that always does it anyhow so I never have to regret something for not doing it..

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It's one friendship (with a guy) that I really don't see ever ending. So it makes me wonder, why not just make it more than friendship? I feel that if anything is stopping it, it's him and his faith in love that's been destroyed. I just read a thread about "bitter men" and how its a turn off. I truly do hate it when my RM talks about women and relationships as if they are a joke. Even though I know his Ex hurt him....it still just drives me crazy to hear him talk like that. I don't bother to argue with him, cuz he seems to have his mind made up. Could he be convinced differently, or will this attitude have to change all on its own?

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how old is he? His attitude will change on it's own when he sees that all women aren't like his ex, but it may take a while...how long ago did she hurt him?...you're probably in the best position you could be at the moment cos he obviously respects you, to be your friend and not use you for sex. This may be the reason that nothing is happening...maybe he respects you too much to use you, and is not quite ready for a full on relationship yet. Hang in there...when he gets over the hurt & is ready for a relationship, he may realise you are the one wants :rolleyes:

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His attitude will change on it's own when he sees that all women aren't like his ex, but it may take a while...

 

As a guy who used to be this guy, I can confirm this. After my divorce, I wasn't going to settle down to one woman, dating or otherwise... admittedly went a little overboard for a while... some guys see this as the bachelors dream... when I finally woke up to the realization that the ex and I were not getting back together, I began reconnecting with my core values... dropped out of dating for almost three years... took the time to heal the old wounds... was probably the smartest thing I ever did.

 

He may not be ready at this moment, but if this is a relationship that has possiblities down the road, then I'd say go for it. It's either that or sit back and wait to see if things change... and I can't see any reason for anyone, male or female, to sit and wait on anyone these days... life is way too short to spend it pining over someone who may not ever come around.

 

Best of luck whichever road you choose to follow...

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how old is he? His attitude will change on it's own when he sees that all women aren't like his ex, but it may take a while...how long ago did she hurt him?...you're probably in the best position you could be at the moment cos he obviously respects you, to be your friend and not use you for sex. This may be the reason that nothing is happening...maybe he respects you too much to use you, and is not quite ready for a full on relationship yet. Hang in there...when he gets over the hurt & is ready for a relationship, he may realise you are the one wants :rolleyes:

 

 

He's a 37 year old man. It seems like his constant need to date girls in their 20's is some kind of a mid-life crisis. Him and his Ex split up about a year and a half ago. We've known each other 10 yrs. and have lived together about 9 months. He and Ex were on and off for many years, and he dated several other women in between. He and I spent a couple years as friends that hung out everyday (we did have sex way back when we didn't know each other better..backwards i know), then I fell in love with him, and he knew but we never talked about it. His Ex came back into his life so we didn't speak much at all again until a couple years ago. My past feelings have never been brought up. But his Ex left him for another man, which I don't think he ever expected, and they were engaged. Now she's married,etc. Perhaps a year and a half isn't long enough to get over a relationship such as theirs. He needed a roommate, and I agreed for financial reasons, we always got along, etc...then he suggested we get a house when the lease is up. Huh?

 

I thought why would you get a house with a woman your not with, and you don't even know if we live together well yet! Everytime he brought up the house, I blew it off. He finally dropped it. Then he was bringing chicks around a lot, driving me nuts. A couple months ago, we said how much we like living together. Then we had a couple conflicts, not minor issues, happen, and decided NOT to keep living together. I think he knows how I feel, but think I keep him confused at the same time. Anyway, is the suggestion for getting a house together anyway to tell someone you want a relationship with them?!

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I think wanting to get a house with you, definately shows interest...maybe he is really confused about how you feel, and because he's been hurt in the past, he isn't ready to open himself up to being hurt again by telling you how he feels.

I definately think that the interest in younger women has something to do with his age. I have a friend who is 37 & seems to be attracted to women that are younger, but at the same time, he doesn't want a serious relationship with any of these younger women as they are too immature. It's simply an ego thing. I know it must drive you crazy, but at the end of the day, they probably mean very little to him.

what were the issues you were having? were they financial, or personal? I think it sounds like there is definately some potential for a relationship here, I think he just needs to come to terms with what his ex did to him. If it's only been 18 months, he is probably still bitter about it, but it will wear off...I agree with Texan...life is too short to pine over the past..if you don't tell him how you feel, you may always be left wondering. I say go for it!! :bunny:

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So much has happened that I don't know what to think anymore. He openly admits he doesn't want a relationship with these girls, but he also acts as though he doesn't want in a relationship in general, period. One argument was actually the 2nd relating to his kids. They are teenagers but a couple times he's gone out and stayed out all night (although he does not drink) with me there and I didn't think it was fair for him to leave me responsible for them. He believes its ok since they are teens they can be left alone. So that was pretty much a disagreement about parenting. The other issue was when he had a girl over one night. I had just decided not to keep living with him. I even wanted to move sooner. I went out to the living room to tell him we should talk, and even though the girl was in the bathroom at the moment, he was pretty ticked at me for it. But I think he finally realized I didn't mean to ruin anything for him. He tried getting me to admit I was jealous, but I didn't. A friend of ours told me "he's ready for his own place,too", I figured he can't wait to have me out of his way so he can have women there. And I expressed its a hard situation for me to date in as well. So we've both stuck to the plan that I'm moving. But I don't feel that we really want it that way. It just seems like it HAS to be that way.

 

One night a couple months back, the kids were gone for the weekend, and he said he was going to see about a girl, blah blah. I said "oh I'm jealous!"...as in jealous that I didn't have a guy at the time. He was like "oh, well, maybe I won't...". He left and came back a couple short hours later, and said "looks like we're in the same boat". He was being sweet and offering me water, etc. This was before the girl that I interupted him with. We were alone on the couch watching movies, but I just didn't know what was going on there. Didn't get why he was being so nice. We've been alone on the couch many times but this water thing was new...anyhow...but since deciding to live a part, there's been none of that..but I feel a confession of some sort building in me..

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hmmm...I can see why you're confused..it sounds very much to me like your both being forced to live apart rather then it being something you both want. If there were no feelings there on his behalf (or yours) dating in that situation would not be difficult for either of you. It wouldn't bother him if you interrupted his date or vice versa.

It honestly sounds to me like he has feelings for you that he doesn't want to have cos he doesn't want a relationship cos deep down he's scared of being hurt, and this causes him to act the way he does...I may be totally wrong, but that's how it seems to me. Maybe he feels like he needs space cos he's developing feelings for you that scare him.

How does he react if you show interest in someone else? or go out on dates?

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Hi Hope, well your last interpretation, about the space, getting hurt, etc, has totally crossed my mind before. Over the last couple days he seems more back to his normal self and we're still getting along pretty well.

 

When it comes to me dating, he basically acts as though he isn't bothered by it, of course. I haven't had all that much company over, not near as much as he. I had a guy over once, one that I had dated casually for a year. My RM wouldn't even look at us or talk to us; my guy was trying to make conversation and be friendly, but my RM was basically unresponsive to it. Then my guy felt extremely awkward, and even though I assured him nothing was going on b/tween my RM and I, the guy never called me again.

 

If I talk about a guy, my RM doesn't care to hear much about it. He'll act like he doesn't hear or change the subject. If he talks about a girl, which he doesn't all that often, but if he does I'll listen carefully and ask questions but not about something I don't wanna hear! If a girl is over while I"m there, I'll be friendly and make conversation with her usually. Its really my way of covering up my own jealousy, however I'd do the same regardless of that. But overall, he hasn't done anything to make him seem obviously jealous of my dating. He's a pretty "manly" kind of man...I think he's just a good actor sometimes...I'm guilty of that too. I'd say we're both stubborn people when it comes to expressing feelings or letting them show. Probably not the best recipe for a relationship!

 

thanks for listening hope!

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Hi LoveLace

I feel for you cos I'm in kind of the same situation. Sometimes men (like women) have difficulty expressing how they feel, especially if they've been hurt in the past, they don't want to open themselves up to the possibility of that happening again, and that's what seems to be happening with your rm...Do you think he knows at all that you're interested in him? cos if he does & he still wants you around, that's a pretty clear indication that he probably has feelings for you too...especially since he asked you to get a house with him. In my experiance, if a man thinks you're interested in him, but doesn't have any interest in you they either a)tell you straight how they feel or b)start avoiding you altogether...he's not doing either of these things.

I honestly think he just has issues due to what his ex did to him, and he'll get over this in time. He may not be stubborn, just scared...I also think when a man's been really hurt, they sometimes tend to convince themselves that they don't care, they just kinda ignore their feelings, until they sort of wake up one day & realise that they might lose you.

Glad to hear things are going ok at the moment...oh yeah...and the way he reacted to your date DEFINATELY sounds like he was jealous or at the least, bothered by the fact that you were seeing someone.

One other thing though...if he does know that you're interested in him, don't let him start to take you for granted...do something unexpected to keep him on his toes..if he starts to expect you to be at home with his children while he goes out all the time, be busy & unavailable sometimes...there's nothing wrong with staying with his kids, just don't let him EXPECT that.

keep me updated :) I think it could work out..the best relationships start from friendships x

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Hope your too sweet! I'll keep you up to date, geez everytime something happens I post it on LS!! I think a lot people are sick of hearing about it.

 

He knew when I had feelings for him several years ago, only cuz a friend told him, we never discussed it but our friendship was awkward after that. We drifted a part though mainly cuz of getting back with his Ex. When we decided to be roommates, I couldn't help but wonder if he wanted those feelings to come back to me. And yes, they have, but I'm a lot better about handling it than I was back then - at that time, it was like the end of the world losing him and I cried for days. But now, I don't have a problem with dating other men, etc, or assuming he didn't feel the same, it's like so what, time to move on...I guess the difficult part is not knowing or maybe I don't want to know.

 

I think he probably has an inkling of how I feel, but doesn't know for sure cuz I do things to throw it off...like seeing other guys and acting plenty happy, etc. When he had a GF spend the night like 6 nights in a row, I kept my composure and didn't say a word. He's already accused me of being jealous once and said "it's ok to feel that way" but I kept dodging it.

 

Issues with the kids have come up already. One night he left them there with me while he was out all night long, without even telling me what his plans were, and he just walked out the door. We argued the next day and he didn't understand why I was so upset about it. I was upset because, like you said, I wanted to protect myself IN CASE he was in fact, taking my feelings for granted! Of course I didn't say that. I just told him I'd like a heads up if he plans on being out very late, so that I'm aware of being there with the kids all the time. They are teens and can be trusted and left alone for a while, so he does not expect me to "babysit" them by any means. I just still thought it would be considerate of him to acknowledge me if he's going to be out all night. That's only happened a couple times in 9 mos, so it's not a habit for him and I cooled off. But then the interupted date thing happenend, and he appeared fed up with me by then, and thats when he agreed on not renewing the lease together.

 

Since making that decision, we've gotten along almost perfectly, minus the hugging or any other affection we used to give each other all the time. For some reason any physical closeness has been canceled out, but I've been trying to bring it back lately with a hug or rub of the shoulder here and there. Suddenly I've realized I do not think he was taking me granted, but I accused him of that in my mind for quite a while. He seemed so surprised when I bitched about the "kids" thing..I mean I really don't think he expected me to be upset much less stick up for myself. 2 weeks before that, he said he likes me as a roommate, and so did I. So I don't think he'd purposely try to tick me off. I was adament about making sure that if wanted to keep living with me, that he couldn't just take off all night without telling me while the kids are there. He tells the kids whats going on, but not me. He calls and checks in on them, but not me. His attitude is that he does not owe me any of that. Maybe he's right. But if we were together..it'd be a different story, I hope.

 

Trust me I'll be around and maybe I hope you are too! This was waaaay too long!

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Hi LoveLace

how close are the two of you? I have a close friend (the 37 year old I mentioned earlier) & I thought I had started to develope feelings for him, and because he knew me so well, he picked up on it, and called me on it. We sat down & talked about the situation (he's already in a long distance relationship) and then dropped the subject. It felt great to have all my cards out on the table though, even though it didn't work out for me, I didn't lose my friend cos he totally understood where I was coming from. Do you think if you told him it would help? or are you scared of losing him altogether?...cos if he's anything like my friend, you won't lose him, and if anything it may make your relationship stronger.

How old are you if you don't mind me asking? is there much of an age difference between you & him?

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Hi Hope! Well I"m 30 and he's 37. So your friend didn't return your feelings, not even at all? Has your friendship been different at all since then?

 

How close are we, well we've known each other 10 yrs. We enjoy each other's company and have always laughed together well. But he's reserved at times and it's hard to have in-depth conversation with him. He comes off being such a rock that I wouldn't know where to begin with talking to him about something emotional. We used to hug each other lot, and I used to kiss him on the cheek a lot, when we 1st started the roommate thing; but for some reason it's absent since our most recent conflicts and all that. So now I feel even further away from him, even though we're getting along fine. I think if his kids weren't there with us all the time like they are, living together probably would have made us a lot closer by now.

 

I don't fear losing him all together. I can already hear him saying, "it's ok, we're still friends no matter what you know". I fear the feelings are not mutual, and seeing him walk away with a bigger head because of it. It's like I refuse to let my guard down just because I think his ego is plenty big enough. I don't want to hear the "I care about you, BUT..." speech.

 

But I realize that I might have to go through that weather I want to or not. And I should know better, because the guy is always talking about all the "girlfriends" he has and how marriage is dumb etc, (maybe joking but don't know for sure) after all that, how could I tell him that I want it to be just us?

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I'm 30 & my friends 37 too!!

He does return my feelings in a way, he always tells me he loves me & I know it realy upsets him if he thinks he's upset me...but he just doesn't feel that way towards me. I just have to deal with that, but I love him as a person and because we can be so open & honest with each other, it's made us alot closer..maybe you could start the conversation by asking him if he honestly believes that marriage is dumb, or if that is just a defensive response cos he's been hurt in the past.

If he says that he honestly thinks marriage is dumb, tell him that marriage isn't dumb, he just made some bad choices in the past, but as long as he learnt from them, theres no reason that he can't meet someone & have a fulfilling relationship. He knows what he DOESN'T want in a women (thanks to his ex) but what DOES he want? ask him that...see if he lists qualities that you possess.

You don't have to came straight out & tell him how you feel, but maybe try & get him to think about what he really wants, cos at the moment, I think he's just using these girls as a way of protecting himself from being hurt.

sounds like you guys are pretty close, but he has his barriers up...I know with my friend, he is always saying how he wants a relationship & kids, but yet he seems to have a fear of commitment..might be the age, I don't know, but hang in there, I think he'll come around...I would definately try to have a deep & meaningful conversation with him, but without coming straight out with your feelings, if you know what I mean....this will protect you too...just try & get him to open up to you a bit, cos I don't think what he's saying about marriage etc at the moment, is how he truly feels, he didn't feel that way before he got married obviously, so he is basing his current feelings on what happened with his ex...deep down I bet he knows marriage isn't dumb.

does any of that make sense?? I know what I'm trying to say, but not sure if it comes across right :confused:

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Wow don't we have something in common then! I think I could "deal" with it,too..after all, I already do for the most part. It certainly doesn't keep me from dating other men, etc. And like you, he used to tell me he loved me regularly, I would return the gesture but rarely was the 1st. I figured it was ok for me to say it back cuz I assumed he meant it in a family-kind of way. But that's another thing between us that has dissipated, for whatever reason. Once I wondered if he caught on to my feelings, only prompting him to back off on what could be mixed signals toward me. But even since then, other things have happened to make me think he wants me as more than a friend. Hanging out with me alone on the couch at night and being extra sweet and getting my water (very out of character for him...he did that a couple times but not since...I didn't want to misread it as though he was pursuing me)...long after the "I love you" 's were gone.

 

I was thinking of asking him, so are you counting down the days until I move out? (August 1) And see what he says. He tends to agree with whatever I think is best for myself though. But if he answers the question with a "no", then perhaps the conversation could get more interesting...

 

The day that we decided not to renew the lease together, I told him it would be cool to be neighbors since I'll be in the same complex. He agreed that would be cool, and said "we'd probably make better neighbors than roommates?", as if he questioned it. As if he was asking, what's better for our relationship? We already said it wouldn't ruin our friendship. So I wondered why he said it like that.

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hmmm, men look at things differently to women, maybe he is thinking that if you move out, it would be safe to date you, cos if it didn't work out, it could be awkward if you are living together....yeah that's probably what he is thinking.

I know what you mean about the "I love yous" my guy does exactly the same thing...calls me up & says "I'm just calling to let you know you're still loved"...he always says "you know I love you"...but I assume he means as a friend, so I leave it at that

The whole couch thing sounds promising...if I was you I would have made a move by now...wouldn't have been able to help myself :)

I think men at that age are hard to read cos they're a bit older & usually have better control of their feelings & emotions then a guy in his 20's.

If you move out, he's probably going to realise how much he misses you being around...could be a good thing...alot of men want what they can't have, and if all of a sudden your not around anymore, it may make him want you more :laugh:

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Your friend sounds sweet..but if I was you I couldn't help but get sick of it, only because, it would make me wish more and more that he DID mean it THAT way, even though he's already said he doesn't. It would still drive me crazy! So I don't know how you do it. Do you say it back?

 

I remember posting about the "couch nights" here on LS and several people questioned why I passed up a chance to make a move. I think part of it is just because I've known him so long. And we live together. With a friendship as historical as ours, I guess it was difficult for me to act. The same could go for him. I thought he was kissing my butt with the water cuz I had just been mad at him for the kids thing a few days before. I'm constantly on the look out for that sord of thing. Cuz just in case he's trying to use me, I refuse to let him succeed. But now I'm starting to believe using me wasn't his intention. I WANTED to make a move, I just didn't know how. We always sit on opposite ends of the couch, so it's like, how do you be smooth about moving all the way to the other side and cuddling up to him?

 

I don't really want to move due to the hassel in itself, not to mention I'll go back to major financial struggle. But I think that being "neighbors" would somehow influence our relationship. He could come over to get away from the kids and we'd be alone more in that aspect. And there would be less pressure without the roommate factor. So now I'm going to put myself back into financial strapping just to see if our relationship blooms? Hmm, kind of weird. When I can always keep living with him and wait for the same thing. But if it never happened, I'd be stuck as his roommate and would wish I had moved a long time ago. I don't think he'd be able to replace me all that easily. So money-wise, he'd probably rather me stay. I don't know how to tell the difference b/tween wanting me there for that, or for other reasons...

Even though we get along these days there is still something different about him that I can't put my finger on, he doesn't look me in the eye as much, less affectionate, just a little more distant in general. But if I ask him about it, I"m sure he'd deny that anything's up with him. Perhaps being neighbors can be great for us, it might allow for easier communication. Guess we'll see what happens.

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I don't really get sick of the "I love you's" cos I don't take it to heart...it's sweet, but I don't put any real emphasis on it...I don't really say it back...rarely anyway...usually I just say "yeah whatever :)"

What I have noticed is that every time I begin to get close to him, he pulls away, then if I pull away from him, he chases me..it's like some game...maybe your guy is distancing himself cos he doesn't want to be hurt when you move out...maybe that's why there's something different about him.

If you don't really want to move out or can't really afford to, you should tell him & see what he says.

You should do what YOU want, and the rest will follow.

If he says he wants you to stay, I don't know how you could find out if it's for financial reasons or for other reasons..if he was that worried about his finances though, he'd be begging you to stay...cos he's not, he obviously knows he can cope on his own, so if he does want you to stay, its probably for more reasons then just the financial aspect.

What does he do for work? if you don't mind me asking

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I've always been told, and have always read, that men are like "rubber bands"..they pull away but always manage to bounce back. I don't know, I'm starting to think this guy does so have some kind of feelings for you! It also sounds for sure like he enjoys the whole chasing thing. Are you really sure he's not into you more?

 

My RM is a bar manager (hence all the younger chicks he dates) He makes salary, though, with benefits, etc, but his paychecks end up being less than even mine are, due to child support. Lately he's said he's supposed to get promoted soon, but he also said that about a year ago. Perhaps he's trying to prepare for my moving. If he doesn't want to hurt from me moving, I wish he would give me a sign that he wants me to stay...I guess he could be too stubborn to do that.

 

But now I"ve met a new guy that I'm very interested in. We actually met a couple weeks ago, and had a blast together. I didn't think I'd want to see him or anything after that, but the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to call him. So I did last night, and we're planning to get together next weekend. I'm very excited, and can see myself with this guy for the long term. He's the opposite of RM. He's very fun and outgoing, etc. My RM's ex used to complain that he never wanted to do fun things...he is very "homey"...lazy...and he doesn't drink...so I guess he's boring in a way. Doesn't have much of a romantic drive, from what I can tell- but ya might have to date him to know that for sure. Anyway, I guess the new guy is making me question my feelings for my RM now. I love him obviously, but maybe I should listen to the instinct that says he might not have what it takes to make happy. However, he'd be more likely to stay at home and be with me, than go out and hang out with drunk people, etc. The new guy on the other hand, is quite sociable, a big drinker...probably a better recipe for the likelihood of cheating..travels for his job and I'd only get to see him seldomly.

 

I get the impression that my RM is the type of guy who might heavily rely on a woman for emotional-dependence, or whatever. You know, just to be there so that he's not lonely. I think he despises being alone which might have given him the idea to live with me. My love for him is actually pretty unconditional, so I guess in the long-term I could learn to deal with what he might lack of my desires? I hate to say that having a boyfriend would be a lot easier if I didn't with another guy (duh), but it's true. So it's almost like I just want to live with him for just as long as I'm single. But here he was in the beginning, joking that we'll be roommates forever..ha ha ha...as if "yea, we're stuck together forever since we don't have anyone else"...gee that's comforting! "Roommates" forever? Come on, did he really think it could be that way? The way we live now, did he really think it could stay like that? I'm getting closer to his kids, while he's out getting all the a** he can find? What the hell were both of us thinking?!

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Last night I passed a big test at school (for nursing) and was excited to wrap up and pass the whole semester with all good grades. I was callinge everyone cuz I was so happy for myself. My RM was at work but I sent him a text "Woo hoo! I passed!", and I got nothing in return. No congrats, nothing. Then I had to call him later for something else and got his voice mail. On the message I explained I was excited because of passing my courses. He was at work all night long. I find it hard to believe that he was too busy to even send me a quick text back. I saw him this morning, and he said nothing. What kind of a friend doesn't even acknowlege your accomplishments? Therefore, I sure don't want to date a guy who's going to be like that....unless this is one of his "distant" games...

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ahh wow a new guy!!! this'll be interesting :) wonder how your RM will react to that...my guess is he'll withdraw even more...probably out of jealousy & hurt.

By saying you'll be roommates forever, he may have been letting you know he wants you in his life for a long time..but he has to know that you can't just sit around while he becomes emotionally dependent on you cos he doesn't want to be alone.

Maybe he likes the fact that he can go out with all these girls but knows that you'll be there when he comes home, but that's not fair to you. Like I said before, don't let him start to take you for granted...at the moment he has the best of both worlds...a single guys life when he goes out & a married guys life when he comes home to you & his kids.

I think the new guy is a good move, even if he just gets your mind off your roommate for a while & you go out & have some fun.

I don't know if my guy has feelings or what...he sends so many mixed messages it's crazy...at the moment I'm just going with the flow...I don't know if a guys feelings can change like that...if he didn't feel that way towards me before, why would that change now? I don't know!! arrgghh I'm so confused :confused:

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