My boyfriend and I have been together for three years and have lived together for the past year. We've always talked about getting married, and figured that we'd be together forever, and now it's really happening! He took me out for a wonderful night, then he proposed to me with a beautiful diamond ring. We couldn't be happier. We'll be doing our last year of college next year, and plan to marry sometime after that.

So, now we just have to tell our family. I know that it should be easy, but I just want to do it the best way possible. We're thinking that perhaps we should invite them over for a meal and say something then. The thing is, we don't know how to say it. I know that his parents will be thrilled (they're expecting it) and mine will be pleasantly surprised, so I'm not worried about that. I just want it to be perfect.

If anyone has any ideas or suggestions, I'd be so incredibly grateful! Being engaged and getting married is one of the most important things that will ever happen in my life, so I want to make sure I do it right!

[Tony T]

I'm no Emily post and I don't think these days there is a best way to do this but here is my suggestion.

First, have your fiance set a short meeting with your dad. It is traditional for the guy to ask the lady's dad for permission to marry his daughter. Your father will be extremely impressed by this act and it'll be an opportunity for them to get to know each other better. You will find a lot greater support from your parents and a lot more positive feelings about your guy from your dad if he does this.

If it's not possible to see your dad in person because of the distance, invite your parents to your college for a weekend. If that's not possible, have your fiance talk to your dad on the telephone.

Simultaneously, let your mother know that your boyfriend has proposed and is going to ask your father for permission to marry you (of course, him asking your dad is not a requirement but more of a formality and a nice one that makes everybody feel better). If you don't tell her, your father will probably do so very quickly.

Once your guy has talked to your dad, he should his parents and set a time for the two of you to visit them and announce your engagement. You should also call your mom and arrange for a vist there to, but I promise your dad will have already let the cat out of the bag.

There will be plenty of time for all parents to get together to celebrate. Now, if both sets of parents know each other very well, then go right ahead and have them over to make the annoucements. (Tell your fiance to request your dad keep this under wraps until a meeting at which all can be informed)

I promise you, unless your dad is Charles Manson, everyone will be so happy about the engagements they won't really be concerned about how they were told or in what order.

Congratulations. Don't let your desire to do everything absolutely perfectly ruin a great adventure for you. In the end, it is you and your fiance (husband) that have to be happy and nobody else. Do things the way you feel is right and to hell with what other people think.