My boyfriend of 10 months has a pornography problem. He has joined many sex clubs and has been posting ads on the internet to find sexual partners both male and female. He swears he is going to stop and needs me to help him. I love him but dont think I can trust him. Confused about what to do. I am mad, depressed, and outraged by all of this. Can anyone give me any advice?

[Tony T]

Did you read what you just posted??? I mean, did you read every word...you wrote it.

Your boyfriend doesn't have a problem at all compared to you. Any woman who would have a boyfriend who joins sex clubs and posts ads for sex partners, male and female, on the Internet has a very poor self image and does not feel deserving of a man who is devoted and reasonably free of such strange ways of passing time.

Yeah, right. He wants to stop this and needs your help. What are you supposed to do, write all those who respond and tell them he is no longer in the market. If he truly seeks help and has no control over this obsession, have him go to the links page of this website, then go to the Addictions and Recovery section, then go to Sexual Addictions. There he will find a number of organizations that will help him. The healing process is long and difficult.

You say you love him but I don't believe it. Loving someone is loving their behavior, loving the way they make you feel. If you love a guy who conducts himself this way, then you DO NOT love yourself.

First, dump this guy...then get help to increase your own personal self esteem and self worth.

It would be a loving thing to get this guy help but you have to think more of yourself than to want to get mired in his life of sexual perversion for the years it will take him to get over this thing.

My bet is that the real reason he told you he wants to get over this with your help is because you caught him. You sound like a really sweet lady...you absolutely deserve so very much better!!!