I was recently introduced to a great girl at an outdoor festival. We only spent a short time together but really hit it off. Since then we've been talking on line and on the phone daily and will be getting together soon, probably this weekend (work schedules are in the way right now). I'm 27 and would like a long term relationship and think I may have finally found the right girl.
I don't know that this is bad but almost all of her friends are guys. She really only hangs out with a couple girls. I guess this worries me a little because it doesn't seem quite normal and the last girl I dated had almost all guy friends. She had LOTS of issues! I only dated her for a few weeks and saw it would be nothing but trouble.
She is a bit of a tomboy, grew up on a dairy farm, likes camping/fishing etc. yet still feminine and attractive. Oh and she's an elementary school teacher if that matters. Also a little older than me, I'm 27, she's 29.
So I'm just wondering any thoughts, experiences, whatever with girls who have almost all guy friends. Are they usually trouble?
While it's certainly not unheard of for a woman to have lots of guy friends - after all, I have a lot of women friends with whom I have no sexual interest at all (except one, but that's another story for another time) - you can be pretty much assured that almost every one of her guy friends wants in her pants.
The other part of the equation is that, because she has so many guy friends, she probably puts men in the oblivion of the friend zone very easily and quickly, writing them off as non-relationship material.
Are you up for either one of those possibilities?
__________________ Warning: Keep out of reach of children. Do not operate heavy machinery while taking this advice.
I have a lot of guy friends, grew up with 3 older brothers and being surrounded by boys. A lot of my friends wives and girlfriends have had issues with me until they met me and realize I would never do that with any of them as I have a very high respect of marriage and them. With that said, I have been told it is a turnoff to guys when girls have a lot of guy friends. One guy said he felt it would be a threat on his guy time if I got along with them so well. Figure out your threshold but I don't think you should knock a great girl because she has so many guy friends. You will probably find that makes her more understanding of what being a guy means...
I have a lot of guy friends, grew up with 3 older brothers and being surrounded by boys. A lot of my friends wives and girlfriends have had issues with me until they met me and realize I would never do that with any of them as I have a very high respect of marriage and them. With that said, I have been told it is a turnoff to guys when girls have a lot of guy friends. One guy said he felt it would be a threat on his guy time if I got along with them so well. Figure out your threshold but I don't think you should knock a great girl because she has so many guy friends. You will probably find that makes her more understanding of what being a guy means...
Thanks! I suppose I might feel a bit threatened by it but I'll still give it a shot and feel it out. Again I'm not saying for sure it's a bad thing, just makes me a little skeptical.
I'm a girl with alot of guy friends...and yes unfortunately most of them just want to get in my pants...at least eventually.
But the reason why I have more guy friends than girl friends is because usually they don't cause as much drama as girls or jealousy, they are more spontaneous, fun, and it's fun to flirt sometimes...lol.
So with that said, just be aware of how she acts around these guys. If she's a tomboy then you probably don't have to worry as much. But if she was a girly girl like me, you'd probably to have to worry
Take the time to get to know her, she seems like a well rounded person.
Most girls are more friendly with guys for the sole reason that as soon as 3 girls are together and one walks away, the other two start b*tching about her. Who wants to put up with that cr*p?
I'm a girl with alot of guy friends...and yes unfortunately most of them just want to get in my pants...at least eventually.
But the reason why I have more guy friends than girl friends is because usually they don't cause as much drama as girls or jealousy, they are more spontaneous, fun, and it's fun to flirt sometimes...lol.
I knew this girl a couple years ago and it was pretty much the exact situation as above.
she was a little tomboyish with some self-esteem issues. however on a social level she was very easy to get a long with and talking to a girl has been as easy-going as her. She was open, friendly and spoke what was on her mind. but on another level she was shy and doesnt speak to anyone unless spoken to, but rather opened quickly.
If any guy had to have a girl as one of the 'guys' for a friend, it would definitely be her.
I'm a girl with alot of guy friends...and yes unfortunately most of them just want to get in my pants...at least eventually.
But the reason why I have more guy friends than girl friends is because usually they don't cause as much drama as girls or jealousy, they are more spontaneous, fun, and it's fun to flirt sometimes...lol.
So with that said, just be aware of how she acts around these guys. If she's a tomboy then you probably don't have to worry as much. But if she was a girly girl like me, you'd probably to have to worry
Take the time to get to know her, she seems like a well rounded person.
I never was a girly girl. I still till this day can't stand pink and getting dressed up isn't my bag.
I don't mind having guy friends at all. It's nice to have the male friend perspective too on various things. I find it easier to talk to my guy buddy about certain things as opposed to my gal pals. Guys are just a lot easier at times to talk to and they are also at times a lot easier to get ahold of too. There are certin guy friends that I'll act guyish around, while others I'm more reserved. I joke around a lot and will occassionally give a slap on the back for a job well done or if the person is being a total doofus. It just depends on the person and my mood.
I think that she is a strong person, women who are beautiful, indepentant and strong have a hard time making other female friends. Females are a jealous type and they feel threatened by a women who is succesful, strong and beautiful.
By the way, just out of curiousity, does she have older brothers?
I don't see it as a problem, personally. I'm a girl with a lot of guy friends. I'm a bit of a nerd and a tomboy, so it's easier to find guys who share my interests. There's nothing untoward going on at all. I don't think any of us would date one another, even given the chance.
I don't see it as a problem, personally. I'm a girl with a lot of guy friends. I'm a bit of a nerd and a tomboy, so it's easier to find guys who share my interests. There's nothing untoward going on at all. I don't think any of us would date one another, even given the chance.
Exactly my point. Lots of male friends means lots of men in the friend zone.
Do not look at the number of her male friends, look at the way she acts around them.
If they are actually *friends*, great - you'll know that she is a girl who can consider guys *persons*.
It may seem silly, but to some women, guys are first of all "persons". Others will be able to see men just as "males".
If she flirts with them, tries to get their attention, causes trouble (even if unintentionally)with their gfs - not so great.
This girl sounds like a very interesting person.
I think it is also positive that she has at least a couple of girlfriends.
I am wary of women who are unable to get along well with anyone who is female and axpecially of those who basically "hate women". (just my personal opinion, coming from my own experience, liable to change. But whenever I hear "women are all b*tches" from the mouth of some woman, I always find myself wondering "is she so bitter and suspicius of others because she knows herself so well?")
It's a red flag -- may mean nothing in the case of an exceptional woman, but usually it's bad news.
1) ABove reason - she friendzones people easily (bad for you becoming romantic with her)
2) She friendzones people easily (these male friends are all sniffing around her, so even if you do get somewhere, you have all these other dudes along for the ride).
3) Attention ho - can't tell, but you may find she's the kind of person who needs her ego propped up by lots of men. It means that any connection you may have with her is likely superficial and temporary
4) Back story - last potential issue - you may find that a lot of these dudes have gotten somewhere in the past. It may not be your cup to date her if they have gotten the goods without the effort.
If she has a good head, hasn't hooked up with them, has a reasonably clean past regarding promiscuity and cheating, and these dudes don't seem to be in it for her undies, then she may be okay.
It's a strange one. When I hear women saying they prefer the company of male friends I always feel a bit put out. I think of my female friends and how fantastic they are...and wonder why anyone would forego the opportunities to have bonds like that.
Then again, I think it's easy to start assuming that all women are as wonderful as one's friends are...and forget about the less delightful ones out there. Every now and again I'll encounter the type of women who, I think, are responsible for the "I don't relate to other women" mindset I quite often read on this board. In a nutshell - gossipy, cliquey, thick and boring. Any time I've been in a social situation featuring those types, I must admit to having found the men easier to get along with. They've tended to be friendlier and more open to meeting new people.
The main thing I'd wonder, in relation to a woman who surrounds herself almost exclusively with male friends, is why she hasn't met women who are on her wavelength. Maybe she hasn't pursued the kind of experiences, profession and lifestyle that would help her to broaden her social circle?
I'm not buying the idea that some women can't have female friends because other women are just jealous of them. There are plenty of very hot chickies out there who are popular with men and women alike. I'd say the more likely reason a woman doesn't have female friends is a) she feels threatened by other women, and tends to avoid them...or b) she's "slumming it" as regards lifestyle and professional choices...and therefore not meeting her type of people.
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