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a new perspective on MM's W
Remember when i told guys when i broke it off with him, he had asked if i had called his cell. HE said his wife answered and no one was there and she got pissed off, asking him " who would feel comfortable calling you at 1:00 in the morning?" then he tells me, with a little boy grin " then she was shooting me dirty looks all night" like i would find it amusing.
i brought this up to my mother, who knows about the whole thing and i had an interesting conversation.[she was so mad at me when she found out..she wouldnt talk to me for days}
ME- " she must be on her guard i guess, if shes answering his cell phone.."
MOM- "she'll be on guard for the rest of her married life, cause she knows who shes married 2"
ME- " why does she stay with him though? she caught him once before, and clearly she still doesnt trust him. y is she putting up with it?
MOM- " maybe because hes her husband, and she has 4 kids. its not so easy to leave when your in that situation"
and i thought about it, and shes right. it gave me a different perspective on BS's in general. its so easy for me, being 19 and really, pretty worry free, to say " what an idiot she must be, putting up with that! blah blah blah..." but really, its not so black and white. when your married to someone, whether its for 3 years or in her case, 18 years, and you have children with them, thats your life. this is her life....she has 4 kids with this man, and yeah, she knows hes an *******, but really, what can she do? sure she can leave, but thats hard, divorce and being on her own, and custody arrangements and maybe not having that much money...its a big deal, and its easier to stay.
and seeing it from this perspective, i feel even more guilty for putting myself with him, even if i didnt sleep with him, because i was the cause for someone elses worry. shes already on her guard...and she has a right to be, cause he IS cheating on her....and im a horrible person, contributing to her stress. she has enough to deal with as it is, and the fact is, thats HER husband...i dont want to hurt her...someone i dont even know whos looking out for 4 kids and living her life while her husband is galivanting around with with someone not even 20....im happy that i ended it, so i know im no longer privy to causing some woman emotional pain...but i still feel so guilty.
life is hard enough as it is,...finding love is hard enough...woman already have to deal with so much in life, why should we add to each others misery?
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