[samsungxoxo]

I'm so mad right now, I hate him, I do, yet I wouldn't want to cut complete ties with him. I was always more attached to him when I was a little kid all the way till I turn 18, even as soon as I turned 19. I didn't get along well with my mother those times, as she used to criticise me for my shyness and lack of social skills, ect. And well dad would stop her form cticizing me, yes to him I was his princess, that's what he use to say, even praise me (I'm the only girl).

Reason why I hate him now recently: I got into talking dirty online (just for fun) and while I still had my cam on, I flashed these two guys. But geezz, it's not like I'm doing it in real life, I'm a virgin and besides just cuz I once in a while talk dirty online and the fact that I only flash my top part on two occassions doens't make me a sex freak nor a slut, and I also like looking at porn magazine at the faked men. Nothing wrong with it, it's normal.

Then a stupid jerk called that day saying he was my ex's friend and that he saw me on cam, he elaborated some stuff that's not true. This by the way happened 2 months ago and off course they (stupid parents) totally freak out and get the cam taken away. Geeezz I'm 19 already and it's not like I'm asexual (one who's never attracted to anything), so what if I got sex drives, it's normal, everyone has them, some have it higher than others.

Well ever since that, he (I'll call it the stranger, not dad anymore) ain't talking to me the same. He'll only talked if I say "hey dad" or "Good nite", bye, those stuff, only smile if I do. I'm sick of acting like a hypocrite, I'm piss as well, where is the dad that use to defend me everything I had problems in school, argue with my teachers who were unfair to me, even go against my mother whenever she use to say mean stuff. 2 months and still with that ****ing attitude, geeez. If he ain't forgiving me completely then what's the use of him paying for my classes, I rather leave already.

According to my mother, she told me she does worry about me. Even cried a week after that incident I did with my cam. I don't even care what she says anymore, I'm mad as heck, I'm in tears right now.

I dunno what's really to be sorry for, I don't feel sorry for anything, I did nothing wrong. if there's one person who's suppost to apologize, it's him. No point to try acting nice if he's gonna be still with that crap.