[preferwhispers]

hi all,

so i've been dating my girlfriend for about a year and a half. recently, she moved away to go to grad school. that was about a month ago. in that time, i've visited her a couple of times. ostensibly, things are good. we are happy when we spend time together, speak almost every night, and i am planning a move to be closer to her.

so here's where it gets hairy. i've always been ridiculously insecure and jealous. this has led me, from time to time, to log onto her email account to see if anything is up. (i know) nothing ever has been though.... until yesterday. i discovered that she kissed another guy a few weeks ago that she met at school. this is a guy that she tells me she is friends with and that they are just friends. in the email i snooped, to her best friend, she says that she feels like an ******* about it but that she feels a bit giddy and knows it's ridiculous. in the same paragraph she describes our relationship as good.

i've seen her once since this incident took place and, like i said, everything seemed just great... no odd pulling away or anything of the like. in fact, she seems to act more committed than she did before (despite feeling "giddy")

i have no idea what to do. i love this girl to pieces, obviously, or i wouldn't be writing this.

without divulging my source, it is clearly impossible to broach the subject. if it's just a stupid thing she regrets, i can get over that (in fact, i've done the same thing myself about a year ago).

but i am fearful of changing my life and then being spurned. the fact of the matter is that our relationship has actually been really good -- and like i said, i spy because i have a serious problem with insecurity (slash self-esteem).

part of me wants to say, hey i looked at your email and saw you kissed a guy, wtf is your problem? part of me wants to pretend the whole thing never happened, but i don't know what it will be like down the line when she says "oh i'm hanging out with my friend jake tonight."

any advice would be appreciated,

thx