So there is this man that I work with that I have known for 5 years. We are pretty good friends, I have learned at lot from him personally and professionally. The problem I have with him is lately he has been saying some really stupid things to me and it is making me really uncomofortable.
I am 7 months pregnant with my first child and very excited about it. I am a pretty small person normally, about 5'3", and I wear a size 6, or usually small or meduim in clothes sizes. Since I got pregnant I have gained 15 lbs. They suggested that I gain between 25-35 lbs. But this friend keeps making comments about my weight. First of all, I am pregnant and I am supposed to gain weight. But he has made the following comments to me:
"It looks like you are carrying a 40 lb baby"
"You are gaining weight in your ass, trust me I am a guy, and I know these things"
"After you have this kid, you are going on weight watchers and working out really hard everyday until that fat comes off, right?"
"You aren't going to just stay fat like that are you?"
Now the other day I tried on all of my pants and skirts I wore pre-pregnancy and most of them fit me fine, except around my stomach of course. But they were not tight on my butt or my thighs. Most of the shirts and dresses I am wearing are like 1 size up from what I normally wear. I am not HUGE like he keeps saying, I am what I should be at 7 months. But he keeps pushing and saying stupid things like this that succeed in only making me feel bad about myself, like I am doing something wrong by gaining the weight my baby needs. What was I supposed to do, be anorexic? It is really upsetting!
__________________
God have mercy on a man, who doubts what he's sure of.
Never let an idiot upset you. Just let HIM try carrying a kid in his gut for nine months and see how svelte he is. Ignore him; he hasn't an ounce of sense.
Hit him over the head with the science of having a baby and how you are supposed to gain weight.
Or say, firmly but calmly, that you are over the comments about your weight and he should stop them or stop talking to you.
I would agree with what Outcast and Noos said. Don't let him upset you. You have bigger things on your mind and he is being a real jerk saying this when your 7 months pregnant, congrads by the way.
WOW what a jerk! It sounds like you are doing great. Tell him that YOU are not so selfish as to jepordize your unborn baby by not gaining weight and what does it matter to him what you look like if he's a true friend. Congrats on the babe!
What a complete Moron!! Ugghhh people like that make me mad!!
Don't let his idiotic comments bother you. Let him know that they are not appreciated, and that if he can't keep it to himself, then you'd rather he kept away from you until he feels you are slim enough again to not make comments!!
Recommended answer: "When I'll be carrying your brain, I'll have a hole in my belly." (smile)
"You are gaining weight in your ass, trust me I am a guy, and I know these things"
Recommended answer: "A big ass is much better than a big *******!" (smile)
"After you have this kid, you are going on weight watchers and working out really hard everyday until that fat comes off, right?"
Recommended answer: "No, not at all. I'll gain some weight just to be ugly as you!" (smile)
"You aren't going to just stay fat like that are you?"
Recommended answer: "Why do you want to know? You want sex with me? No thanks, I don't like your face!"
The best answers however involve humiliation on a higher level. You can tease him about bing less educated, single, his sister is a junky.. whatevevr weaknesses he might have. I've done that instinctively once or twice, felt very bad afterwards, but it did teach them a lesson.
A friend wouldn't say these things to you. Put him down a few times and he'll leave you alone. He'll even respect you more for winning in his game. Yuck... but it's worth it!
Try your best to let his comments roll off your back. He's teasing you because he likes ya and thinks he's being funny. (Yet he's not!)
If you can't ignore it, then just say something to him! You two are friends, so instead of putting him down, just tell him that it is upsetting you and right now with the hormones etc., you don't need to hear those kinds of things he's saying to you. I think once he knows how upset you are, he'll feel bad and stop.
I used to work with similar guy once
he was smart and proffessional
but he thought that I am a idiot and tryed to addict me to drugs just for fun
he used to brainwash me every day
I knew what he was doing, but it was nice to hang up with someone on a cigarette breaks
don't listen to this joke and try to find way to avoid speaking to him
such a pea-brained guy! he's too shallow and insensitve to make comments like that. doesn't he have anything better to do than bug into other people's business? just brush him off fast...tell him, well maybe i'm that important that you're giving me that kind of attention, making comments about me everyday. or better yet, tell him, did i ask your opinion? or worse, nevermind, just contact me, i have an assassin for hire. interested?
Last edited by LoveShack.org Moderator; 1st July 2006 at 10:23 AM..
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