[thebastardchild83]

Hi people how are you all doing tonite,
Not much doing on here except that my eyes are achingf rom crying which I'm still I'm. I'm a loser and no good for nothing, been often told esp. by girls "Oh you're such a nice guy", "Oh you're too nice". Yet they all step all over me, name callings, cheat, blaming me, lying, saying I'm a-hole, even one punch me in the eye once, yet I never broke up, they did.

I'm 22 now and no luck in relation. I have no hope of even thinking baout forming a family nor having kids. I was doomed by girls ever since I was 6. I was going to the movies at night with me and my mother. When the movie ended and I had to go to the bathroom, mom accompanied me and say "Stay there, I'll be right back okay sweetie". By the time I got out of bathroom I saw her running away and that's the last time I ever saw her, I was crying like hell thinking for a long time it was all my fault. Minutes pass, hours pass, days, weeks, years, never heard from her ever again.

Till this day I spend hours crying for her, I keep wondering why did she do this. When I asked my father about it, he's like "Someday she will be punish, she had no right to abandon you". Been in 4 different relations and all of them with bad endings. In the first one, I get dumped all of a sudden, never hear from her again. On the second one, i get cheated multiple times and hit on one occassion, getting a black eye. Next relation, cheated twice and then dumped. Then this last one, well I thought everything was great and she would say that she love me, etc., only to walk in on her a month ago with another man.

She says it was all my fault, that I didn't satify her emotionally nor gave her enough sex. I try apologizing to her and say I wanna to work it out and that i'm so sorry for what I caused. Nothing, she dumped me, tried calling her three days ago and apologize again, she say nasty stuff and hang up.

I'm giving up on relation, was always doomed with women, not even my mother even love me. At times I think about suicide, that it would be better if I wans't here in this world, dad's owrry about me off course, but I can go on my path, dying single or ending it already.

[Tim'sAngel]

Welcome to LS TBC83!!

I read your post, and I can see a pattern. It is horrible what your mother did to you. I am truely sorry! No child should have to suffer abandonment. Have you considered maybe the reason you've had no luck with women is because you didn't have a women figure in your life growing up to teach you what a healthy and loving women is like? That is what our parents are for, to teach us these things. If we lack one or both, it will affect us the rest of our lives, that is, until we decide to do something about it.

I know one thing, your situation is not hopeless by no means!! You need to get therapy ASAP!! You life is not over, you are very young and have your whole life ahead of you! Don't let some women who wasn't worth being your mother ruin you life!! You are better than her! Things happen that is beyond our control, but that doesn't mean we can get in control of our lives!!

I suggest you find a good therapist very soon. A therapist can help you get a grip on your past and learn the important skills you might have missed out on growing up about how to find a women that will respect you, love you, and will be faithful to you. She is out there, somewhere. You just have to know how to find her.

There are always going to be sketchy people out there. That is inevidable. In the same sense, there are good people out there as well. Just because you met some of the crappy ones doesn't mean all women are like that.

IMO, you need to quit feeling sorry for yourself, get on your feet and do something about your life. Remember, only you determine what to do with your life!! If you are positive, then you will find positive things. I suggest you put off dating for awhile until you can gain confidence and spend some time with a therapist!! If you are suffering form depression, there is medication for that. I battle with depression and I know how sometimes you feel hopeless, but that isn't the case. There is hope, but you must look for it!!

Good luck!