Hi i'm 21 and i am engaged to a wonderful woman but i cant help but want to try gay sex before i get married. I am kinda attracted to guys and i have thought about having sex with a guy but i havent found a guy that was willing to have sex with me until tonight. My fiance is cool with it and says that i should at least try it once...
I dont want to be gay i just want to have sex with a guy once to see what it feels like. i mean when i masturbate i finger by anusand for the most part it gets me off fairly quickly should i have sex with this guy to fill that fetish or should i just skip it completely?
I don't think anyone can tell you what to do except you.
I do think it's great that you are honest with your fiance about this. This shows that you are mature and able to deal with complicated feelings, and that you care more about what you and you loved ones want and feel than what society thinks. Honesty is the best policy between you, so keep that going, whatever you decide to do. The way you two are dealing with this so openly and honestly and maturely - I think plenty of people twenty years older than you could learn from you!
I'm sure you will figure this out, I'm wary of telling you what to do because I don't want the responsibility.
I would like to point out, for whoever is reading, that personally - I don't think your sexual enjoyment of anal penetration has anything to do with your wanting to be with a man. Plenty of straight men like that physical sensation and plenty of gay men do not. The important thing is who you're attracted to, and I completely understand your curiosity.
(I'm a woman, and I find myself thinking that there is no particular physical sensation associated with being a lesbian versus being straight. It's a matter of who you're attracted to. I firmly believe the same is true for men.)
So take your time figuring things out, and good luck.
What happens if you like it alot? Can you be 100% sure that it will be a one time thing? Is it possible it's just an incredible turn on for you? Leave it to fantasy and porn?
Or, at some point in time, get your fiancee (wife) to buy a strap on dildo and DO you up the ass. Would that be enough, or do you want to experience a man inside you and you sucking another man's cock etc.?
Talk to your fiancee, be sure this is reallly OK. Once you decide to go through with it, be prepared for anything and everything.
I like to believe that sex itself is a form of gratification, does it really matter who we get it from? There is a difference between lust and love, if you are in it just for the sexual gratification I wouldn't quite call it love, and therefore I wouldn't call anyone gay/bi over it.
Also make sure she is really ok with it, you might want to just try something like a strapon with her first? Even if it is just for the sexual gratifcation, would your fiance be ok if you slept with another woman - I'm going to think not, and for this reason I forsee this might just create problems.
Sanavelas, I don't think that anyone wants to be gay. You are what you are - I'm one of those people that will never believe it's a "choice".
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanavelas
I am kinda attracted to guys and i have thought about having sex with a guy but i havent found a guy that was willing to have sex with me until tonight. My fiance is cool with it and says that i should at least try it once...
Your fiance is approaching this with a very mature attitude - kudos to her.
Think about this: is your attraction to men purely sexual? Or do you feel that you could live with and emotionally be attached in a relationship to a male? If the first is true, it's highly doubtful that you're completely homosexual - curiosity about the same sex is a natural thing, and if you want to experiment, by all means go for it. (Please don't forget the condoms.)
Have you experimented in this vein with your fiance? There are alternatives if you're really afraid of doing this with another male - sexual toys and the like. But if you really want to do it, and if she's honestly okay with it, I don't think there's any harm. And at least you'll know.
I've never known a man who tried gay sex only once. ALL of the men I've known, once they tried it, they continued doing it. They are now bi-sexual, or gay. From what I hear, most men have the best orgasm through anal penetration.
It's really great that you are talking with your fiance about this. Keep up the honesty and communication. And be prepared to make arrangements for more gay sex in the future.
You and your Fiance really have a great understanding don't you??
Well nothing wrong in being Bicurious...but when you do act out your curiosity remember to practice safe sex.
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Don't mistake my sweetness for weakness...
You and your Fiance really have a great understanding don't you??
Well nothing wrong in being Bicurious...but when you do act out your curiosity remember to practice safe sex.
In order to have sex with a guy you would have to become aroused by him. Do you think a man can turn you on and give you the erection you need to perform anal ?
Congrats on your open minded Fiance'
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"how do you gently break up with someone???..
Thats like saying how do I gently drive a monster truck through a china/glass/crystal shop.
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Opening myself up for a heavy round of attack but I'm genuinly curious. Why are you ladies so quick to congratulate him on the fiancee? What if he didn't post about gay sex but said instead he wanted to just once try sex with an Asian girl, or a pregnant woman or a different race or size. Just to experiment. And she had said it was okay, would you be as willing to compliment the both of them? Or is it because this is about gay sex so not really cheating -although yes, if it's with her approval it's not cheating-?
I guess my question really is, for those that expressed their appreciation was it of a real sense of respect for people with an extremely open mind when it comes to sex or because in some societies today we've learnt that part of being Politically Correct is to show respect for consensual wacky situations?
Again not slamming anyone, sort of a survey and curious about the answers.
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Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.
- Tobias George Smollett
Opening myself up for a heavy round of attack but I'm genuinly curious. Why are you ladies so quick to congratulate him on the fiancee? What if he didn't post about gay sex but said instead he wanted to just once try sex with an Asian girl, or a pregnant woman or a different race or size. Just to experiment. And she had said it was okay, would you be as willing to compliment the both of them? Or is it because this is about gay sex so not really cheating -although yes, if it's with her approval it's not cheating-?
I guess my question really is, for those that expressed their appreciation was it of a real sense of respect for people with an extremely open mind when it comes to sex or because in some societies today we've learnt that part of being Politically Correct is to show respect for consensual wacky situations?
Again not slamming anyone, sort of a survey and curious about the answers.
Once being in a stale dead end relationship ( marraige ) and now free and independant for awhile , the floodgates have opened to expression and curiousity , openminded ideas and experiencing parts of life that I never had before .
He could have posted about anything that he wanted to try.
He could have said his greatest desire was to be spanked by a Polynesian girl in the Bahamas at midnight and I would have told him the same : Go for your fantasies that have long been repressed so that you may never regret not doing the things you always dreamed about.
Its kind of like tasting an exotic fruit. You liked it. You want more. You never would have known until it touched your lips.
We have all varying degrees of what is * right * and normal but trust me on this one : One persons definition of what is normal can be 180 degrees different than anothers idea.
This man wants gay sex * audience gasps * and perhaps he should try it . I know most guys might say * Ewhh* but you know some women seem to be curious about that hidden taboo. How do I know ? I read it on here ! I was not the only one that wondered about male to male attraction.
What if he didn't post about gay sex but said instead he wanted to just once try sex with an Asian girl, or a pregnant woman or a different race or size. Just to experiment. And she had said it was okay, would you be as willing to compliment the both of them?
Yes, I would. If his fiance is that confident and secure in their relationship that she's willing to let her partner experiment with whoever/whatever happens to start his "motor", I think it warrants applause. Too many people are just flat-out insecure in relationships - "do you love me, are you sure, what if you don't, etc."... sheesh!
Once the marriage certificate is signed and dated, however, it's time for the experimentation to come to an end, I think.... but as long as it hasn't gotten to that point, I don't see anything wrong with it, and to be quite frank, it might be a good thing for the OP to find out ahead of time whether or not gay sex is his "thing" now, instead of later on when he and his fiance are married and in a totally committed relationship. Experimenting and coming to terms with possible homosexual feelings while married would be devastation to both him andher.
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Originally Posted by Mary3
He could have said his greatest desire was to be spanked by a Polynesian girl in the Bahamas at midnight and I would have told him the same
Let's not forget the spiked heels and the whips and chains, now. Very important to the fantasy. =)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary3
I know most guys might say * Ewhh* but you know some women seem to be curious about that hidden taboo. How do I know ? I read it on here ! I was not the only one that wondered about male to male attraction.
No, indeed. Male/male attraction is interesting to a lot of women that I know, too. It's sort of like the mystique of two women to a lot of guys - I never really understood why they were so crazy about it, but I understand a little more when I visualize two men together.... then I think, "Ohhh, that's the reason..."
Yes, I would. If his fiance is that confident and secure in their relationship that she's willing to let her partner experiment with whoever/whatever happens to start his "motor", I think it warrants applause. Too many people are just flat-out insecure in relationships - "do you love me, are you sure, what if you don't, etc."... sheesh!
Once the marriage certificate is signed and dated, however, it's time for the experimentation to come to an end, I think.... but as long as it hasn't gotten to that point, I don't see anything wrong with it, and to be quite frank, it might be a good thing for the OP to find out ahead of time whether or not gay sex is his "thing" now, instead of later on when he and his fiance are married and in a totally committed relationship. Experimenting and coming to terms with possible homosexual feelings while married would be devastation to both him andher.
Let's not forget the spiked heels and the whips and chains, now. Very important to the fantasy. =)
No, indeed. Male/male attraction is interesting to a lot of women that I know, too. It's sort of like the mystique of two women to a lot of guys - I never really understood why they were so crazy about it, but I understand a little more when I visualize two men together.... then I think, "Ohhh, that's the reason..."
- pde.
Thank You Puppy Dog Eyes for your great post. I guess if I told you where my date and I went on friday nite , you wouldn't be shocked lol
I don't know if the fiancee is taking into consideration that should he enjoy the gay encounter, there is a possibility he may want to try it again and again once they are married. If she is ok with it then fine. If she's not, I don't think this request can be compared to trying a new fruit as one put it. It could potentially ruin their marriage. What happened to sacrifice and restraint? He is risking messing up what he has to "fulfill a fantasy." Grow up. Use a dildo or another alternative.
I don't know if the fiancee is taking into consideration that should he enjoy the gay encounter, there is a possibility he may want to try it again and again once they are married. If she is ok with it then fine. If she's not, I don't think this request can be compared to trying a new fruit as one put it. It could potentially ruin their marriage. What happened to sacrifice and restraint? He is risking messing up what he has to "fulfill a fantasy." Grow up. Use a dildo or another alternative.
If her fiance IS gay then no amount of * control * is going to help him and one day he might try gay sex given the * fruit * or not. So if he is asking her about this, then its on his mind and its LIKELY he IS BI or GAY and if that is so ,....do you think a marraige will keep his repressed needs buried away for eternity ?
If he is gay then he is GAY.
He should not marry if he finds he IS gay because he will then ( likely )want to continue to persue it. Unless he has a very OPEN marraige where this is acceptable.
Hats off to him for being OPEN to his fiance and telling her. Do you know how many men go on the Down Low ( get married and then have sex with men behind their wives backs ) ?
Restraint vs. Sex drive , sex usually wins over.
He does not desire a plastic dildo. He desires a man. He will til the end of time be curious about it and likely at some point MARRIED or not , will fulfill that fantasy.
He took the risk of telling her BEFORE they married which means he already RISKED alot in telling her his desires.
He could have kept quiet and walked down the ailse. I would rather know as his potential wife what he is thinking about so I can make a * choice * to let him go or stick by him.
You make good points Mary3. I agree it's wrong when men do not disclose their gay side and practice it behind their wife's back. It is better to be open about it. On the other hand, it is like he is letting hormones control him. It seems like a weakness where everyone these days is allowed to do whatever they want as long as it feels good. Had he not been engaged it would be one thing to experiment. If he is willing to risk losing his wife rather than not act out on something, then he either does not love her enough to risk losing her or he wants to have his cake and eat it to.
Again, if his wife is ok with the possibility that this can result in him wanting to have more encounters in the future rather than naively thinking that it is 100% a one time thing, then that is their business and there is no reason for anyone to stop him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sanavelas
should i have sex with this guy to fill that fetish or should i just skip it completely?
Keep in mind that she will always have it in her mind. Would you be ok if her fetish was to have sex with another man? It all depends on how honestly open both of you are.
Last edited by Fun2BMe; 29th May 2006 at 4:09 AM..
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Hi i'm 21 and i am engaged to a wonderful woman but i cant help but want to try gay sex before i get married. I am kinda attracted to guys and i have thought about having sex with a guy but i havent found a guy that was willing to have sex with me until tonight. My fiance is cool with it and says that i should at least try it once...
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