[Keeper37]

Question out there to all you guys and girls too...

My boyfriends friend recently called me ( well a couple times before this too because his was trying to find my boyfriend whom hadn't been returning his calls for awhile because he was tired of dealing with his ever selfish behavior and being whiny- ) now... After a few phone calls seeing where my BF was ( I tried to stay out of that as it wasn't my place, I would just say he's been busy maybe you should try him again) he called me and alluded to the fact that my boyfriend hasn't been honest with me. ( I have dated him for 2.5 years). Then he calls again a couple of weeks later and basically tells me all this stuff and I mean everything-- that he has cheated, that he has lied, that he is manipulative, that he is just using me, that he is a selfish individual ( he even gave me names of the girls) and basically I should save myself... This guy also now says, he was really never a friend of his, just an aquaintance ( this is not true) but then went on to say that he was my friend and thought I should know. Mind you this guy is a true pig with women and brags about it all the time, even to me. I told him that I did not believe what he was telling me, that we obviously don't know the same person. He said believe what you want. I don't want to repeat the whole conversation. I said why would tell me all of this now, he said because I was a good person and I deserved to know. I myself thought it was because he and is a very jealous and it was one of his only friends left because most people are sick of him. He said oh come on 3 out 4 men are like this... Oh and at the end of the conversation he said I should just go out and get laid, it would make me feel better ( I just couldn't believe my ears, I ask him to just not say anything else) but he said I know you are thinking of using me. I said no never gonna happen. I haven't talked to him since. I did tell my boyfriend and he couldn't believe his ears and no he didn't do these things.

Does anyone have an opinion on this? I at first was a little skeptical but this friend (ex-friend) is such a selfish, manipulitave guy and I have known him for awhile myself and he is digusting and a real pig of man and once said to me that all women are well I can't repeat it, it's awful....

[laRubiaBonita]

i would say your "friend" dude, told me some crap..... i thought you should know what he is telling me, and tell him.

do not accuse him of what dude has said.

[Keeper37]

I did put in the post that I did tell him, I never accused him of anything. He said none of it was true and again it's just like him ( his friend). I was only asking to see what opinions might be ?

Thanks

[Adunaphel]

I would be wary and try to investigate a little. Just in case.

He gave you the name of some of the girls your bf is supposed to have cheated on you with... perhaps you could talk to them? ask around?

I don't think your bf would get mad at you if you did a little research on your own. If he has nothing to hide, I'm sure he'd understand.

I really hope it's all BS the ex-friend made up.

[Star Gazer]

Originally Posted by Keeper37

I did put in the post that I did tell him, I never accused him of anything. He said none of it was true and again it's just like him ( his friend). I was only asking to see what opinions might be ?

Thanks

No you didn't.

What did your BF say?

[Keeper37]

I did let him know what he had said to me and that I was very upset by it... As I was telling him he couldn't believe his ears, he said absolutely not to all of the allegations made by his friend . Yes, I do know of the girls he was talking about but I really don't feel comfortable asking someone these questions when I don't think they hold any validity and I feel like if I do that then I have lost my trust in him, am I being stupid?

[Adunaphel]

Originally Posted by Keeper37

Yes, I do know of the girls he was talking about but I really don't feel comfortable asking someone these questions when I don't think they hold any validity and I feel like if I do that then I have lost my trust in him, am I being stupid?

You are probably just tend to trust people more than I do.

I would investigate, but that is just me - due to my personal experience (people I got to know, mainly) my fear of being cheated on would be very easily triggered.

If you *feel* you can trust your boyfriend, then I am not the best person to give you advice, so take whatever I write with caution, as coming from a rather diffident person (please do not get me wrong. I think that chances are very, *very* high that your bf is totally innocent).

How long your bf and this friend have known each other?
Did they use to be *very*good friends?

If this guy is as bad as you described, I am not surprised that he could have called you and made up a lot of lies about your boyfriend, trying to make you break up just to retaliate.
Do you know of any other episode regarding him, when he supposedly made up fake stories just to cause trouble?

If he is a selfish, whiny pig with a reputation of making up stories and telling lies just for the heck of it, I guess you can not worry.

If on the other hand he is known as an honest, very straightforward, blunt jerk .... well, now there could be a reason to get suspicious.

Oh and at the end of the conversation he said I should just go out and get laid

I don't think someone who was actually telling the truth "because you are a good person and deserve to know" would have ever added anything like this.

If you never heard any other rumors/gossip, got whatever looked like a half-warning from freinds or strangers, or got strange feelings, I think you can just relax about it.

[catgirl1927]

Honestly, just from what you've posted here, it sounds like the "friend" is just trying to stir up trouble. Maybe he's jealous. He told you to go and get laid, I wonder if he's warming up to be that lay. It just sounds really, really fishy to me, based on what you've said about his character.