[lex007]

New member here - could use some advice. Sorry if its too long but I gotta get it off my chest. I love my boyfriend dearly but we're different. I'm highly motivated, love school, and want to change the world. He's rather unmotivated (in the big picture) though has a great work ethic, doesn't like school, and changing the world has never ocurred to him. Its my goal to have a job I like - he's never even thought of having a job he doesn't hate. I see our differences EVENTUALLY forcing us to part, but I'm only 24, don't want to be married, and want to enjoy our relationship now. I have a great time with him - he makes me happy, always shows me he cares, and supports me in whatever I do. Who knows, maybe it will work out. I've ALWAYS been the one to break up with the other person...and I want to change. I don't want to bail when I see a hurdle. Any advice on how I focus on the positive? Honestly, our imaginary inevitable break up (wow - even looks stupid) is really beginning to depress me. I have no interest in other guys, don't want to be with anyone else... but I get really frustrated with my boyfriend. I mean, I'll have my masters by next year, and he'll still be 30 still living day to day with NO career plans. Don't get me wrong, I'm not into money... but, I am into pushing yourself to do what you're capable of. Any suggestions? I want to be able to relax and enjoy each other again!!! (I must add, to his benefit, that since we've started dating he's begun to look for other job, has gotten a passport so we can travel, and is now looking at a short term program to become a pharmacy tech. But, is he doing this for him, or for me, cause I'm sure he can tell what I'm thinking...) Any opinions would be much appreciated!

[SmoochieFace]

I've always believed that opposites may attract but they really shouldn't stay together UNLESS the urge to *change* the other is absent.

I'm not sure what you are looking for here when you say you want *opinions*... well, I can give you my opinion on his situation and say that I am a lot like your BF. I am not into having lots of money or a *hot job* or any flashy material stuff. Everyone is different and we all have our own ideas of what a *good life* is. You and your BF are seemingly on different pages when it comes to this and the only way the relationship will work is for BOTH of you to each yourselves and each other as is. The minute someone tries to *change* the other then the relationship is doomed.

I totally appreciate your input. Good call about wanting to change someone... never works.

What I didn't mention, however, is how HE always mentions he wants another job, and HE gets discouraged cause he's not really skilled for anything else, and HE says travelling with me would be great... Its not like I'm making this stuff up on my own. If he told me he was happy where he was at, that would be a different story...

Dunno... I need to learn how to be patient, and accept things as they are.