[Meaplus3]

Oh I so need some input here! But before anyone gives me straight out "What your are doing is wrong advice", please hear me out! I have been trying to leave an EA that I have been having for a good 6 months now and just can't seem to do it gosh darn it I don't want to!!

I am a MW he is a MM! We have now crossed the line a bit I guess you could say opened "Pandora's box"! I went to see him for a very short while tonight. He was very aroused. We just hugged and talked. I have felt so strange about what we have done already and talked with him about it! He repiled we have not done that much. He said something to the affect that he's knows' his wife could never cheat and she thinks he could never. What exactly does this man think is cheating???? I mean honestly, we have had an EA for months, hugged and more but no intercourse! He told me he did not want us to end, but where in the heck does he want it to go is my question?? Thanks.

[Yamaha]

where in the heck does he want it to go is my question??

You know where he wants it to go. The question for you is, where do you want it to go?

[Meaplus3]

NO! I am not sure where he want's this to go? I do know that we both feel for each other very deeply but am still confused by the whole thing. WE talked about the fact that we think about each other every day and love it! Could we be soulmates?

Originally Posted by answerplease37

NO! I am not sure where he want's this to go? I do know that we both feel for each other very deeply but am still confused by the whole thing. WE talked about the fact that we think about each other every day and love it! Could we be soulmates?

No I dont think you 2 are soul mates, just 2 lonely people. You and He get excitement out of all this.

Look at it this way....

You just bought a new pair of shoes. You wernt looking for them, you just found them and bought them on impulse. You now wear them everywhere, they are so comfy and they make you feel good. Then, the more you wear them the more you WANT to wear them until one day you discover they are all worn out. You look back into your closet and see your old favorite pair of shoes that you have ignored for months. You SHOULD then decide to throw your "new" worn out shoes away, and put back on those old favorite ones.

Silly.....but you get my point?

[Meaplus3]

Originally Posted by allears

No I dont think you 2 are soul mates, just 2 lonely people. You and He get excitement out of all this.

Look at it this way....

You just bought a new pair of shoes. You wernt looking for them, you just found them and bought them on impulse. You now wear them everywhere, they are so comfy and they make you feel good. Then, the more you wear them the more you WANT to wear them until one day you discover they are all worn out. You look back into your closet and see your old favorite pair of shoes that you have ignored for months. You SHOULD then decide to throw your "new" worn out shoes away, and put back on those old favorite ones.

Silly.....but you get my point?

I do get the point and I appreciate the silliness, However relating this man to a new pair of shoes does not cut the mustard for me! We have known each other for a long time 8 year's infact so he's not NEW to me!

. I have always been attracted to him. I felt he was attracted to me over the winter after getting to know him more over the past couple of years, I was so right! His wife is a plain boreing soul who thrives herself on work! Forget the rest he does it all. I know her all to well. I think because she makes more money then him he feels he has to stay! I bet if the tables were turned he would be out the door, This man need's to feel alive again, I know that for a fact! I guess I dont' want to throw out my favorite shoes for a new pair, but then again perhap's I need to take a step ahead!

[KnowHowLoveFeels]

Originally Posted by answerplease37

NO! I am not sure where he want's this to go? I do know that we both feel for each other very deeply but am still confused by the whole thing. WE talked about the fact that we think about each other every day and love it! Could we be soulmates?

I thought you were joking when you posted this! Now I'm not so sure.

Firstly, you've already opened Pandora's box. you will do what feels good for you. What good is our advice?

You asked in your origional post regarding where he'd like to take this relationship with you. Answer: up you p***y (and other orifice, if you will allow it.) Sorry, that was a joke... I know, harsh joke. That's the reality that every one on this forum can is.

Could you be soulmates? I've answered this on another thread: I do not believe in soulmates. I find the whole idea of two people being completely compatible laughable. And that you'd know it before you've spent a "real" day with the other person.

Just my 2 cents.

Originally Posted by answerplease37

We have known each other for a long time 8 year's infact so he's not NEW to me!!

Ah, you failed to mention that. Now I see my silly shoe stiry does not quite fit! No pun...

There is obviously a lot more then you let on. Ok, knowing him for this long, have you ALWAYS been attracted to him like this, or is it something that recently started?

If you 2 have all ready fooled around, that means you 2 are willing to go further.

Can u picture your future with him? Helpning him raise his kids and vice versa?

Also, how would you feel if your husband was doing this? Would you honestly care? If you answered no, then there is no hope for you and hubby.

I think you need to take a seperation from your hubby. Rediscover what it was that made you fall in love with him, what made you attracted to him.
Picture him with another woman, somone else wanting him.

Its hard, b/c it is not reality now. I got to a point where I felt like there was not much love in my marriage. Then I found out my husband was seeing someone else. All these emotion came back, and I found myself lving him more than I ever did in years.

I think "you dont know what u got until its gone" is SO true. Hon, you are obviously not happy. You need to figure out what will make you happy.

I also wonder, how do you deal with his wife? Iis it hard to talk to her, look at her, knowing what you and him have done? Do you want to continue that?

You are definaltly lacking something from Hubby. The real question is, do you care to find out what it is, and deal with it?

Also, think of this. If you do have sex with him, it may be a minutes of pleasure, but a lifetime worth of guilt. Are you prepared to feel that way?

[Meaplus3]

Thank you so much for your imput here, I truley like what you have said. Am I happy in my currnet marriage, NO! not completely! If my hubby was doing this behind my back YES, I would care. I do want to try and get back some of the excitment that has been missing. Thing's are not that bad but if I don't let him know that something is missing I will end up pursueing the MM further. I think you are right about the fact that since we have both fooled around, we are willing to go to the next step and truly this would not be a good thing, perhaps for a few minutes and that's about it because I know I could never leave my Husband and he could never leave his wife. As far as talking with his wife, I try and avoid it, as I don't really care for her, she's a very cold fish. Know wonder the man need's some attention for me. I suppose I would feel guilty if I liked her knowing what I have done with her Husband. I need to avoid the MM. I guess that's the only way to get myself out of this mess. Thanks.

[silktricks]

Originally Posted by answerplease37

I think because she makes more money then him he feels he has to stay! I bet if the tables were turned he would be out the door,

You say you've known them for a long time - are you really sure that money has anything to do with them being together? I know that my H told the OW that one of the reasons he wasn't leaving was because I made more money than him - but the truth was that he made/makes more than me. It was easy to convince her of the other because he works from home and goes to school and I work for an employer.

[Jessie61]

Originally Posted by answerplease37

Thank you so much for your imput here, I truley like what you have said. Am I happy in my currnet marriage, NO! not completely! If my hubby was doing this behind my back YES, I would care. I do want to try and get back some of the excitment that has been missing.

I know I could never leave my Husband and he could never leave his wife.

I need to avoid the MM. I guess that's the only way to get myself out of this mess. Thanks.

Answerplease37,

I think you have answered your own questions to a very large extent, perhaps even without noticing? ( I do that A LOT! )

If you know NOW that your "romance" is not going anywhere; ie you won't leave, your MM won't leave; you would prefer to fix things at home, then what is the point taking your "romance" any further?

Read some of the threads in this forum and you'll see the pain and agony these things can cause. You could save yourself so much trouble.

All the best!