Hi everyone,

I hope there is someone out there with some help. I live a really busy life, I have a young family and I work full time as well as help my husband run our business. At times I get really stressed and I think it shows. I find that people I work with try to avoid me, not because I am aggressive or moody (I dont think) but because when I have a lot on my mind I tend to shut down, be quiet and become negative. I try to be positive about things, but at times feel that there isnt a positive. I always feel that this shows most at work, especially with coworkers. I just feel swamped and overcome by the amount I have to do, plan and think about.

so the question is - do positive affirmations work, and does telling myself that I am an efficent, friendly and positive person turn me into one?
Any other thoughts/ideas/suggestions on sorting through the mess?

[Jadore]

Sounds like you are very busy!

You ever find yourself just walking down the street or to the bathroom and notice your face is stuck in a mean, wrinkled up "bitch" look? Sorry, was just wondering because I do all the time

Yes, positive affirmations do work because typically when you begin to send messages to yourself that you are happy, positive, strong woman you begin to believe it. However, this is probably the most difficult cognitive manipulation you can try and I would suggest beginning, but realizing it won't enitely on it's own work right away.

I am not going to tell you to do things that just simply won't fit in your busy schedule, so I'll forget about that...

There are several steps to bettering your mental health with the time you have and they can be VERY effective if you just let your mind open up and believe them. Negativity.. sucks. I can vouch for that. Negativity is probably one of THE most difficult emotions to rid ourselves of because it's such a constant thought process. Here are a few suggestions I have for you:

1. FIRST and FOREMOST. YOUR LIFE DESERVES POSITIVITY AND HAPPINESS. It's not for your coworkers and friends. It's for YOU. Do you ever even reward yourself? Little rewards build up, sweetie. You seem like you accomplish alot business wise. Do you ever think that after you accomplish a difficult task to think of a reward you can have afterwards? These are called positive reinforcements. When you do something great, you reward yourself! For instance if you have a project for that day or week, just think of how trivial this project is and how it WILL be accomplished and finished with and when it is, you will be getting a reward from it. You will reward yourself in whatever you want.

Really, I cannot stress the importantance of recognizing what is trivial matter and what is important. Family, love, health, life experiences, happiness, mental health is NOT trivial. This is not day-to-day experiences. This is real, concrete and true.

2. I get really overwhelmed with stess also and I know how simple it seems, but in the moment can seem difficult..

DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. I don't care how tired you are. get it done or at least the majority of it. Don't think about anything else but this project. Finish it and say hello to rewards and relief. If it's late at night, do it the next day. But, if it's day time, pick up that pen and paper, or pick up that phone and begin your projects journey. Feeling accomplished is very key to not being stressed.

3. Love yourself. You know you are worth it, right? So love yourself, love your family, and don't forget to send yourself those positive reinforcements and take that look off your face! You are beautiful, beautiful, BEAUTIFUL! I already know you have a wonderful heart and are just stressed out. It's your health and your life.. treat it well

[PYT]

They did not work for me personally because you have to believe them and I didn't. What did work for me was finding my thinking errors and countering them with objective thoughts, that I did believe, in a tea form exercise that I learned in cognitve behaviorial therapy also know as cbt.