[I Luv the Chariot OH]

This Saturday will be half a year for me and my love, and I guess you could say I’m kind of hoping for something special.

When we first started dating, I told him I'd never been given flowers before, so he started buying me flowers all the time. I definitely didn't tell him that to get that sort of reaction from him, but it was still very sweet.

He also knows I've never been given jewelry, but the reaction I got from him to this was very different. I don't know what kind of signals I send, but I think he gets the impression I don't like jewelry (but I do, even if only for the novelty of never having it before, but I can't just outright tell him that). I'm not really materialistic I guess, and he says stuff like "When I ask you to marry me, it's going to be with a plastic ring," and I laugh, but inside I really wonder.

One of my closest friends' boyfriend started buying her jewelry after a month of dating, and still buy it for her to this day (they've been dating 2 and a half years or so by now). His closest friend bought his girlfriend a promise ring pretty early on too (they've been dating two years).

Here's my question; is it normal for a guy--who has a job and money, and is in a loving and serious relationship--to not want to buy his girlfriend jewelry? Does this imply less commitment on his part? And how long did you/your SO wait before receiving/buying jewelry?

[quankanne]

lol, I've had to threaten my husband to not buy me jewelry because it's a waste of money, as I don't tend to wear it. Your guy may be the same way, where jewelry isn't important, therefore he doesn't think it's important to you, so he hasn't bought you any.

sometimes it's best to be blunt: tell him you like it, tell him that you would enjoy getting it, offer to take him around so you can show him what your tastes are. If worse comes to worst, tell him you'll accept cash so that you can go pick out what YOU like. That way you get what you want, he's happy because you're happy about getting the jewelry. That's what I did last year for Valentine's day, and now I've got a lovely james avery bracelet that I wear regularly.

however, if you're hoping for the gesture behind the gift of jewelry, you may well be disappointed, because it really doesn't sound like he considers it "necessary" because he's not into it himself.

[blind_otter]

Originally Posted by quankanne

lol, I've had to threaten my husband to not buy me jewelry because it's a waste of money, as I don't tend to wear it. Your guy may be the same way, where jewelry isn't important, therefore he doesn't think it's important to you, so he hasn't bought you any.

sometimes it's best to be blunt: tell him you like it, tell him that you would enjoy getting it, offer to take him around so you can show him what your tastes are. If worse comes to worst, tell him you'll accept cash so that you can go pick out what YOU like. That way you get what you want, he's happy because you're happy about getting the jewelry. That's what I did last year for Valentine's day, and now I've got a lovely james avery bracelet that I wear regularly.

however, if you're hoping for the gesture behind the gift of jewelry, you may well be disappointed, because it really doesn't sound like he considers it "necessary" because he's not into it himself.

very good advice.

some people just don't think about it. I don't buy cereal because I don't eat it. That kind of thing

[chryssy83]

Do you wear jewelry now?

I'd never had a guy give me jewelry before, either. I thought my current bf wasn't into it. But then I found this ring I just adored, and told him about it and showed him the picture. He was really quiet, but got it for my birthday one time. I asked later why he hadn't ever done the jewelry thing before (esp. a question because he's done it with others) and he said that I never wore any or looked at it when we were shopping so he assumed I didn't like it.

I am REALLY picky about jewelry. I've learned since that he's more than willing to buy it, he's just scared that I won't like what he picks out. It takes some hand-holding, in other words.

Also...does he buy you other pricey gifts? If the answer is no, he may not think that the gifts are that important or may not want to spend that much money. Some people aren't really gift-givers.

Last thought--what he did when you first started dating will NEVER happen again. My bf used to get me flowers, too. He still does occassionaly, but we are both VERY practical with our spending, so he's pretty much stopped with the flowers and moved on to buying things he knows I need/want, stuff we can use together, or paying for experiences like trips and stuff we can enjoy together. Every relationship develops its own little culture.

In the end, I'd just point out stuff I like and drag him to jewelry counters. If he sees something he KNOWS you'll love when it's a gift-giving time, and it's in the right price range, he'll probably get it for you. Like the above poster--I think it's possible he's just not the type to come up with it on his own. If you have a good relationship otherwise and he treats you well, it's a small problem.

[blind_otter]

In retrospect, every time I've gotten jewelry it has been spur of the moment, with both me and whoever there, and me pointing out something I liked.

[I Luv the Chariot OH]

Quankanne: It definitely is the thought behind the jewelry I'm looking for. When a guy buys you a ring, it should be more a symbol than anything else.

Chryssy: I wear a ring all the time, sometimes a watch, and sometimes a necklace. But they're all plastic and cheap, stuff my mom gave me when she didn't want it anymore. He hasn't bought me anything pricey before; I've always told him I'd appreciate something that had more thought in it than money, so he made me my Christmas and birthday presents.

Blind Otther: Did they buy it for you on the spot, or did they surprise you with it later?