[Second-best]

I need some help/advice, pleeease! Last night, my bf and I got into a bit of an argument. Background info first: we've been together for 10 months, minus 2 days - we were on a break, and we were both compleeeetely miserable so we ended the break - we had some problems at 4 months about his best friend who started flirting w/ him and he didnt listen to my warnings, but for the past 3 months, we've worked out a lot of the kinks and sorted thru the pain...

the argument started last night about sex before marriage... he knows im totally against it, but he's not sure how he feels about it (but he's toootally respectful of my ideals, so he has NEVER pushed me, and has promised that even if we get caught up, he will not allow me to do anything I might later regret) He feels that if two people are truly in love, then, with taking all the right precautions, sex before marriage is ok...

then, i started saying that what if you didnt know what was going to happen, you did stuff, and then you broke up? where would that leave you?? how could you then marry someone else knowing that you'd done that (in our culture, it's quite a big thing to have sex and not be married, or to be with someone else in that way and then marry someone else - and we've all been brought up with this type of ideology) I know that I have enough respect for myself and my future husband that I wouldnt ever want to sleep with someone before I was married, because it would be SO hard to accept that my SO had done stuff w/ someone else prior to being w/ me...

my bf has done stuff w/ his ex, and it took me a good two months after finding out to accept that... and even then, it still pops into my head now and then and I have to try and deal with it all over again... they never had sex, but they did "stuff"... so, now here's the issue: when we started talking about marriage, I mentioned that what if a girl did get pregnant, and the guy stayed with her, and they had the kid without being married... why not just keep it that way? and he said, well, if it works, then great! marriage is just a contract... the weird thing is, he's allllways been a family-oriented guy... he dreams of being a husband and a father, with lots of kids... so why doesn't he see marriage as such a sacred union? why doesn't he see it as a committment that is religious?

when i brought up the fact that it's a committment to each other and God, he said, well, a stable gf/bf relationship is too... how can I make him understand? I'd never ever want to be in a marriage where the guy married me just because it's what's understood to be "right" by society... I want to be married because I can't get enough of that person, and to declare to the world that that person loves me too, and someone whom I can call family and be that committed couple and parents to children... can anyone help me with what to say? please??
sorry that it's such a long post!